Closer relationships

[maryam9]

Zubin:

Ive always wanted to know the reasonings behind this phenomena:

Why are mothers closer with their sons and fathers closer with their daughters?

Although I havent got any kids yet, Ive noticed this in myself. For example, if I have a baby-boy cousin and baby-girl cousin, the baby boy looks cuter than the girl... (dont know why) and i favour the boy. Dont get me wrong, i love little kids, but for some reason i favour the boy...

Whats the psychological reason behind this? Is it because the mother sees this little boy as a miniature version of the dad, so she is more protective with her son. Thats the only explanation i can come up with.

Dokhtar_Bandari, youve got kids aswell... do you favour your boy over your daughter?

[maryam9]

Sorry again

please can you delete this post

merci

[Rasputin]

is not possible opening a poll in this thread,you should do it before posting the thread !

[maryam9]

please can u delete this post please...

sorry!

[maryam9]

Closer relationships: Mums + Sons & Daughters + Dads

delete this post please

thanks & sorry !

[maryam9]

delete this post please

thanks & sorry !

[Dokhtar Bandari]

Maryam jaan, that is not the case with me. I am very close to both my kids, though they each have their own personality and interests. He is all boy boy and she is all girly girl. But we are very close and I can not see me favor one over the other.

All of that said, I have seen this in many other people. You have a valid point. And I have even seen it with somthing like the first born or last born "tah togharee", as we say it.

I don't know much about the psychology of it, but I am sure what you said may hold somet truth.

[SuperWoman]

if it's any help, i was always my dad's number one

[abadani69]

in khonak baziha chi e ke shoma inja harfesho mizanid

[maryam9]

Mikham bedoonam chera amsaale khodet "bache-naneh" hastan (just kidding ) I asked that question because I was interested and wanted to see what Zubin says about this, and what other people think.


Im interested in psychology. Here are some other interesting things:

"Freud" (yek ravan-shanaase mashoor) gofte bood ke dokhtaraa aaghebad donbale yek shuar hastan ke harekaatesh shabihe pedaresh hast. Va goft ke dokhtaraa donbale yey mard hastan ke boosh shabihe booye pedareshoon hast. Its weird isnt it? Not to mention disturbing! And also, men always marry a lady who reminds them of their mother. Inaa goftegooye Freud hast, va na az man.


EDIT: Thanks Dokhtar_Bandari and SuperWoman for your replies

[zubin]

Zubin:

Ive always wanted to know the reasonings behind this phenomena:

Why are mothers closer with their sons and fathers closer with their daughters?

Although I havent got any kids yet, Ive noticed this in myself. For example, if I have a baby-boy cousin and baby-girl cousin, the baby boy looks cuter than the girl... (dont know why) and i favour the boy. Dont get me wrong, i love little kids, but for some reason i favour the boy...

Whats the psychological reason behind this? Is it because the mother sees this little boy as a miniature version of the dad, so she is more protective with her son. Thats the only explanation i can come up with.

Dokhtar_Bandari, youve got kids aswell... do you favour your boy over your daughter?

do you favor the boy though or do you trick yourself into favoring the boy? I know it sounds wierd, but just answer the question if you can.

I think what you are referring to is that parents of the opposite gender in a sense have more to offer because they are so different. Its like you are forced to understand that person, and because of the difference this takes more committment.

My main point though is that I think its possible for a boy to like and love his father as much as his mother, the same with a girl. "Psychologically," there is just more going on between the two of the opposite genders because of their differences. Their differences coupled with an emotional attachment causes a bigger emotional zone between them. But I think a person is capable of "coming out of the zone" and genuinely treating their parents equally.

[maryam9]

Welcome back. Long time no see

do you favor the boy though or do you trick yourself into favoring the boy? I know it sounds wierd, but just answer the question if you can.

I honestly dont know if im tricking myself... maybe I am - I dont know. The reason why I like them better is because little boys are more fun in comparison to little girls which are too well-behaved, etc. Also, if im at someones house and they have kids, the boy will usually be the first one to jump on my lap. Maybe I scare away little girls, who knows?

Another reason im saying this is because I know someone who has a little girl and a little boy. Both of them are really sulky and theyre really sensitive, for example theyre always running away crying. I can understand the little boy better than the little girl when it comes to his thoughts rather than his sister's.
Its confusing though, maybe I am tricking myself...

I think what you are referring to is that parents of the opposite gender in a sense have more to offer because they are so different. Its like you are forced to understand that person, and because of the difference this takes more committment.

My main point though is that I think its possible for a boy to like and love his father as much as his mother, the same with a girl. "Psychologically," but not necessarily emotionally, there is just more going on between the two of the opposite genders because of their differences. Their differences coupled with an emotional attachment causes a bigger emotional zone between them. But I think a person is capable of "coming out of the zone" and genuinely treating their parents equally.

that makes sense

[zubin]

Welcome back. Long time no see
I honestly dont know if im tricking myself... maybe I am - I dont know. The reason why I like them better is because little boys are more fun in comparison to little girls which are too well-behaved, etc. Also, if im at someones house and they have kids, the boy will usually be the first one to jump on my lap. Maybe I scare away little girls, who knows?

that makes sense

I took out "not necessarily emotionally".

I think there is something extra in the opposite gender. Some people get lured into that and I believe some dont, and in general we are capable of not.

Whichever way you will be happiest is best. The way that will make me happy is to treat them equally in every way. I'm an "equality freak." But I dont think that's the only good way of doing it or making one's self and others happy.

Its an interesting question, I have thought about it a lot in the past...

[maryam9]

Does this concept have a particular name? I was thinking of reading up on it in my spare time.

[zubin]

Does this concept have a particular name? I was thinking of reading up on it in my spare time.

You mean the father-daugther/mother-son complex?

There is a name I just forgot it.