THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF A SUICIDE BOMBER

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

Me. Excuse my impertinence Your Person, but my mother is a woman and she is by far more rational, calmer and wiser than my father. How could that be if women are by design inferior, emotional and childlike who need men to manage them?

Mullah. Son, you are showing signs of wavering in your faith. These are not my sayings; they are the scripture, the very words of Allah himself. Tonight say extra prayers and repent. I, for my part, shall pray for you so that you do not succumb to the whisperings of the accursed Satan.

Me. Thank you, thank you a thousand times Your Person. But the trouble is with my brains. It keeps raising all kinds of questions. For instance, this tent-mate of mine once asked me, “Why Imam Jafar is called ‘the Truthful?' Was it because the other eleven Imams were liars?” See how troubling the question can be. I told him that the other Imams must have practiced ketmaan (secretiveness) and tagyyeh (denying) in instances that could cause trouble. They were not actually liars. They exercised wisdom and practiced what is prescribed in the scripture. Am I correct Your Person?

Mullah. Yes and no. You are correct that the Pure Imams were not liars. Yet, it is not up to you to judge the Pure Imams in any way that impugns their character and life. It is not up to you to justify what the Prophet or the Pure Imams did. They are in a special realm of Allah and they are not subject to the same rules that govern us, the sinful mortals.

Me. Yes, yes Your Person. That answers great many of my questions. Studying the Sunna baffled me about some of the things the Prophet did. In his late fifties, for instance, the Prophet married the nine-year-old daughter of his friend and best disciple. No ordinary man of that advanced age should bed down with a tender child of nine. Right?

Mullah. Son, I see that you are a troubled soul. Your faith is tested…

Me. But Your Person, Allah has given me a brain to think with and I can not help but think about things. If I do not use my brains, then what good is it? Why Allah gave me brains in the first place, if I am not to use it?

Mullah. Yes, Allah has given you brains to use it to serve him, love him and obey him and follow the dictates of the Seal of the Prophets. Yet, there is a price to pay for the gift of the brains. It is, unfortunately, the very instrument that the accursed Satan infiltrates to plant seeds of doubt, lead you astray and destroy your faith. I see evidences of this in your questioning.

Me. Your Person, I beg you to forgive me. You are right indeed. It is the accursed Satan who takes over me, manipulates my thoughts and enflames me. You have been so kind and indulging that I find it in me to ask a few more questions that really trouble me. And since I am headed for the next world, I want to arrive there with absolute certitude about our holy faith and its teachings…

Mullah. I have other urgent matters to attend to them. Please speak up and let us be done.

Me. Yes, yes. I will get to the point directly, but first I beg your forgiveness for this very question is a shameful one. As you recall, my late cousin Ghasem, blessed his soul, was killed in a religious mission. Our very own Ayatollah declared him a martyr and the government pays his parents a monthly stipend for it. You, yourself, during his burial proclaimed him a martyr and assured us all that he was in heaven already…

Mullah. Yes, yes. I thought that you were going to get to the question. I need not be reminded of all these preliminaries. What is the question?

Me. Well, I was a lad when they brought his body to the village for burial. My father and uncle asked me to help with the washing of his body before burial. I noticed that although much of his chest and head were seriously injured, his instrument was fully intact.

Mullah. Yes?

Me. Well, how should I say this? Fine, my question is how my martyred cousin, blessed his soul, is going to partake from the 72 virgins if his instrument was buried with the rest of his body? I saw it with my own eyes that it was buried. Would they issue him a new instrument in paradise? If he is not issued a new instrument, he would most likely sit around, sigh in frustration and weep bitterly for eternity. That would be true hell, not paradise.

Mullah. Son, you have not only a questioning mind that the accursed Satan has completely taken over, you have a mind that is fixated on sex. You are in dire trouble and in great need for spiritual rehabilitation.

Me. Yes, Your Person. You are correct as always. But, sex is important to healthy men. Is it not for this reason that the Prophet himself had numerous wives, that Muslims are allowed four wives and many Seeghe? And you, yourself, have four wives and reportedly partake of Seeghe on your biannual journey to the shrine of Imam Reza?

Mullah. Now, you have exceeded my patience with your vulgarity. I demand that you take your filthy self out of my presence at once, before I have you lynched for blasphemy.

[Sepideh_UK]

Lol Thanx.

[donsaeid]

Is this real? if not it belongs to jokes not politics

[Sepideh_UK]

Doesn't really matter . Chill

[mike435]

this cant be real no way

If the reason for being religious is spirituality, thane, why is the reward for being spiritual is the over indulgent of materialistic wants.

[donsaeid]

What you have there is a joke...

This is a real will and testament (part of it)

آیات در وصیتنامه خود چنین آورده است:

بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم

"من المؤمنین رجال صدقوا ما عاهدوا الله علیه فمنهم من قضی نحبه و منهم من ینتظر و ما بدلوا تبدیلا"

صدق الله العظیم

اینجانب شهید زنده آیات محمد لطفی الاخرس این عمل خود را خالصا برای خداوند بزرگ و قدیر و در پاسخ به ندای شهیدان و خون هایی که ریخته شده است و مادران داغ دیده و کودکان یتیم و همه مستضعفان روی زمین و در پاسخ به ندای مسجد شریف الاقصی، انجام می دهم و به حکام عرب می گویم که دیگر خواب بس است، دیگر سهل انگاری از انجام واجبات مربوط به قضیه فلسطین بس است. مرگ بر ارتش های عربی خفته ای باد که مبارزات دختران فلسطین را فقط از تلویزیون ها مشاهده می کنند و خود در غفلت خفته اند.

آشکارا فریاد می زنم تا همه عرب ها و مسلمانان شرافتمند بشنوند: مسجد الاقصی را دریابید، مسجد الاقصی را دریابید، فلسطین را دریابید، فلسطین را دریابید، الله اکبر، خداوند از همه چیز و همه کس بزرگ تر است و این انتفاضه تا پیروزی ادامه خواهد داشت.

آیات محمد لطفی الاخرس"

[Rasputin]

Ki beh ina migeh shahid ?? zan va bacheh mardom ro bokoshi,mishi shahid ? koja neveshteh in ro !!! ??

[Sepideh_UK]

in chetore?
un neveshte ke saed neveshte chi hast?

[Rasputin]

in chetore?
un neveshte ke saed neveshte chi hast?

Uni keh man neveshtam neshun mideh keh ina cheh jur adamaei hastan. farghesh injast !!!

[Sepideh_UK]

Aha Ok mamnoon.

[donsaeid]

Ki beh ina migeh shahid ?? zan va bacheh mardom ro bokoshi,mishi shahid ? koja neveshteh in ro !!! ??

Zano bacheye mardom?

yeki biad khoneye to beshine, be familet tajavoz kone va bokoshadeshon va bendaze zendon... bad to na selah dari na ghodrat... chi kar mikoni onvaght? az joone khodet estefade nemikoni?

[donsaeid]

in chetore?
un neveshte ke saed neveshte chi hast?

vasiat nameye yekie ke to ye azin amaliathaye enhetari karde. va dalilesho gofte ke chera va +++

[Rasputin]

Zano bacheye mardom?

yeki biad khoneye to beshine, be familet tajavoz kone va bokoshadeshon va bendaze zendon... bad to na selah dari na ghodrat... chi kar mikoni onvaght? az joone khodet estefade nemikoni?

aziz,,,! man hamchin balaei ageh saram biad, mesleh baghieh adamhayeh ''motemaden'' az rahayeh legal estefadeh mikonam ! injuri,vahshi gari va beh eslam adam koshtan,kareh man nist !!

[donsaeid]

aziz,,,! man hamchin balaei ageh saram biad, mesleh baghieh adamhayeh ''motemaden'' az rahayeh legal estefadeh mikonam ! injuri,vahshi gari va beh eslam adam koshtan,kareh man nist !!

dont make me laugh sia... you know better then me that there isnt no legal way... all ways has been tryed. Israel wont go back to 67 border lines. Israel wont free palestianians from jail(some housends) Israel wont let palestianians go back to their homes which is part of israel now.
and many more....

So if you find a legal way... show them.

and once more that doesnt has to do with ISLAM any thing to do... its a fight for their freedom and honor.