Earn Your Parents' Trust

[Rasputin]

Would you like your parents to trust you more? Trust is both earned and given through mutual experience. Here are a few steps to help you gain more trust from your parents.

Steps

Communication - If you have something to discuss with your parents, make sure that you get it out and tell them. It's all about give and take; if you trust them not to overreact, they will trust you to let them know what you're really doing. Don't give up on communication and you can help create an environment that supports a trusting relationship.

Friendship - Friends trust, listen, and respect each other. Do the best you can to become friends with your parents. Do things around the house for them, and let them share their opinions with you.

Respect - This goes both ways. You need to give your parents respect and they should do the same for you. Recognize that while you may be in different positions and coming from different points of view, each deserves to be treated with respect.

Truth - Lying is a horrible thing to do. If you lie, you're only making problems bigger, and if you lie, your parents will never trust you. This is a fact. If you've done something wrong, lying about it won't make matters better for anyone - including yourself - in the long-term. And it's the long-term that generates trust.

Get up and do it - If you believe something is right, do it. If your parents still don't seem to believe in you, prove to them that you are capable and deserving of their trust. Thinking and planning won't get anyone far; you have to get out there and show them just who you are and why they should trust you.


Tips

Talk with your parents. If you don't get along with your parents very well, ask them nicely if you can talk with them. Clearly state out your issues and ask for their opinion. Speak your say, and listen openly to their responses.

Think trustworthy. What would a trustworthy person do? How would a trustworthy person behave? Act like that person.

Warnings

Building trust takes time. Don't expect it to happen after just a few "trust-building" experiences. It will grow through those and become stronger as they build upon each other.

Little things count. If small, daily actions are not consistent with a trusting relationship, the trust will erode away quickly. Alternatively, even small acts can help build trust.

[Rasputin]

Be Friends With Your Parents

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone got on with their parents better? These tips will help build a better relationship with your mother and father.

Steps

Treat your parents the way you want them to treat you. If you want them to listen to you,then listen to what they have to say. Giving respect gains respect.

Do something social with your parents and get to know who they are as people. Just as you might try a sport with a new friend,why not join your parents in their hobbies and let them take part in yours.

Don't take advantage.Children (and sometimes adults) often see parents as a bank clerks,chefs or house keepers. Instead of letting your parents do everything for you,share in tasks and be responsible for your actions.

Take part in family activities,such as birthdays or visiting elderly relatives.

Doing things together makes relationships stronger.

If your parents are both alike, make sure to get one-on-one time with each of them, not just time with them as a couple. It's a good way to break down old habits and styles of interaction; plus, it's more intimate. You may find that a parent opens up to you more, or opens up in different ways, when the other parent isn't present.


Tips

It is easy to become over emotional when dealing with close members of family,and this often leads to short tempers and raised voices. Take a deep breath, and try to express yourself in a calmer manner.

Show interest in what life was like for them when they were growing up. Try to relate their experiences to your own. Also, show this same interest in what they do now. Does your parent work? If so, ask about their work.

If your parents are elderly, don't treat them like children. Instead, seek them out for their wisdom from a lifetime of experience. Show your love and appreciation for them every time you can. The walls that may exist can take time to tear down, but if you refuse to give up, they will tumble.

One simple phrase that works with overbearing parents well is "I'm sorry you feel that way." Show concern for their feelings but do not allow yourself to be drawn into feeling guilty for whatever transgressions they feel you may have committed in the past. Accept that your relationship hasn't always been the best and move on. Resist the temptation to try to "make up for being a bad child", remember: "Adulthood isn't an award they'll give you for being a good child." (LM Bujold). As an adult you may have had to make some choices your parents didn't agree with, but they were _your_ choices and you made them as best you could.

What's been said here is the ideal way to communicate, so to improve better these ways you should learn to know more your parents, sometimes the parents act with more sensibilty with their kids .. and remember that no matter how old you are , you are still a child for them, so to get a better relation is to know them well outside the parental relation, thus they'll feel like you are responsable and so they'll trust you as a grown up person.