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Persian parents
Top things your Iranian parents say to you:
1)" Deedee goftam!!!" the inevitable "I told you so" syndrome which comes after an unfortunate incident which your mum or dad "saw coming" alongside the other 99 scenarios which they predicted, which did not occur. Even so, the 1% success rate in predicting the future is enough.
2) "Enghadr zang nazan" yep, how many times were we told to get off the phone so our mums could gossip with their Rooni friends on the latest and most efficient hair removing products.
3) "Ghazah khordee? Khordee? Eybee nadaareh, bazham bokhor", you come home after having a meal somewhere else, but they just can't resist stuffing that qormeh sabzi with mast o kheeyaar down our throats.
4) "Zamooneh maa................" yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, how many times have you told us that school in those days was tough, that we don't have the privalege to be beaten with a cane (they still don't know that teachers and lectures have replaced this with psychological torture).
5) "Pesareh Aghah Jafari ra bebeen cheghadr be harf hayeh pedar o maadrish goosh meedeh" don't we just love the mamanie, hunched, soosool, koonam beshoor, 100% S.A.T. scoring, khayeh maal, sweaty palm syndrome within 2 metres of Rooni girls, sabzee eating, granny jumper wearing guy next door who let's his mum, grandmother, ameh, khaaleh choose his wife?
6)"Booyeh seegar meedee, vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay farda ageh tooyeh khyaaboonha nadeemait mesleh een mofangeeha oftaadi, aaaaaaaah, eenam khat!" this occurs after our mothers subtley sniff our clothes after partying or clubbing, I mean come on, smelling of ciggaretes does mean we're doing heroin right?
7) "Pedar sookhteh, reedam rooyeh ghabreh maadareh Andy, AHANGO KHAaMOOSH KON!", sound familiar? Works best if your dad has a surgically modified frown, Stalin moustache and a voice like Ezrael.
8 "Fereshteh khaanoom baa dokhtarish emrooz meeyan khoonamoon, karee ke nadaaree?", hmm.............yes we've seen her photo, we know what a good, little "innocent" girl she is, oh she's a dentist graduate from Stanford/Cambridge..blah,blah,blah.
9)"Damanit kootas", Rooni girls, unfortunately your s***ts are 1.5674 cm too short. According to your baba's psychological theories, the Iranian guys' sexual hunger is directly proportional to the leg surface area exposed, no and that's not an old mobile phone in our pockets.
10)"Hey meeree beeroon, dars o zendegee...aslaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, raft, deegeh tamoom shodee, khodahafez be oon shagedr aval, salam be shaaghder tambal", this attack occurs when we take a break from our 7 hour studies.
11)Aslan shoma ghadre ma ra nemeedoonee, maa seneh shoma boodeem mageh meeshod be aghamoon begeem "na"................AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
12)"Farsi harf bezan! Nanat engeleeseeyeh? Babaat Americayeeh?"....errr what was that?
13) "Az een refeeghit khosham neemeeyad, mashkookeh" yeah, he's a member of the CIA, MI5, Savak, Mossad, oh and didn't you know, he was the organiser of the Iranian revolution.
1)" Deedee goftam!!!" the inevitable "I told you so" syndrome which comes after an unfortunate incident which your mum or dad "saw coming" alongside the other 99 scenarios which they predicted, which did not occur. Even so, the 1% success rate in predicting the future is enough.
2) "Enghadr zang nazan" yep, how many times were we told to get off the phone so our mums could gossip with their Rooni friends on the latest and most efficient hair removing products.
3) "Ghazah khordee? Khordee? Eybee nadaareh, bazham bokhor", you come home after having a meal somewhere else, but they just can't resist stuffing that qormeh sabzi with mast o kheeyaar down our throats.
4) "Zamooneh maa................" yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, how many times have you told us that school in those days was tough, that we don't have the privalege to be beaten with a cane (they still don't know that teachers and lectures have replaced this with psychological torture).
5) "Pesareh Aghah Jafari ra bebeen cheghadr be harf hayeh pedar o maadrish goosh meedeh" don't we just love the mamanie, hunched, soosool, koonam beshoor, 100% S.A.T. scoring, khayeh maal, sweaty palm syndrome within 2 metres of Rooni girls, sabzee eating, granny jumper wearing guy next door who let's his mum, grandmother, ameh, khaaleh choose his wife?
6)"Booyeh seegar meedee, vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay farda ageh tooyeh khyaaboonha nadeemait mesleh een mofangeeha oftaadi, aaaaaaaah, eenam khat!" this occurs after our mothers subtley sniff our clothes after partying or clubbing, I mean come on, smelling of ciggaretes does mean we're doing heroin right?
7) "Pedar sookhteh, reedam rooyeh ghabreh maadareh Andy, AHANGO KHAaMOOSH KON!", sound familiar? Works best if your dad has a surgically modified frown, Stalin moustache and a voice like Ezrael.
8 "Fereshteh khaanoom baa dokhtarish emrooz meeyan khoonamoon, karee ke nadaaree?", hmm.............yes we've seen her photo, we know what a good, little "innocent" girl she is, oh she's a dentist graduate from Stanford/Cambridge..blah,blah,blah.
9)"Damanit kootas", Rooni girls, unfortunately your s***ts are 1.5674 cm too short. According to your baba's psychological theories, the Iranian guys' sexual hunger is directly proportional to the leg surface area exposed, no and that's not an old mobile phone in our pockets.
10)"Hey meeree beeroon, dars o zendegee...aslaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, raft, deegeh tamoom shodee, khodahafez be oon shagedr aval, salam be shaaghder tambal", this attack occurs when we take a break from our 7 hour studies.
11)Aslan shoma ghadre ma ra nemeedoonee, maa seneh shoma boodeem mageh meeshod be aghamoon begeem "na"................AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
12)"Farsi harf bezan! Nanat engeleeseeyeh? Babaat Americayeeh?"....errr what was that?
13) "Az een refeeghit khosham neemeeyad, mashkookeh" yeah, he's a member of the CIA, MI5, Savak, Mossad, oh and didn't you know, he was the organiser of the Iranian revolution.
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