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he European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the
official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known
as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent
to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem
of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known
as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards
kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent
to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem
of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.