F in Math "rated R"

[jjbb]

ba hal bodesh.

[RoadRunner]

Moses, Jesus and some 'ol geezer were going to play a round of golf.
Moses teed off, the ball went right into the pond. "No problem!" he said. Moses walked over, parted the water, and hit the ball again.
This time it landed about one foot from the hole.

Jesus then teed off and the ball went flying off to the left, hit a tree, then miraculously bounced within about six inches of the hole.

The 'ol geezer stepped up and teed off. As the ball headed right for the pond, a huge bass jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth.
Suddenly an eagle swooped down, grabbed the bass and flew over the green. The bass dropped the ball and it rolled within two inches of the hole! All of the sudden, a worm popped up and knocked the ball in. A hole in one.

Moses looked at Jesus and said, "You know, I really hate it when your dad plays."

[RoadRunner]

loool
che babaye bahali with sence of humor lol

[Nazanin]

Dad says to go ahead and give him a b***job. Otherwise I can do it.

che khahare fadakari

[RoadRunner]

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, would you give me a b***job?"
Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
Him: "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
Her: "No, no. I just can't"
Him: "I beg you ... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a b***job. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, dad says he can come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom...

[RoadRunner]

loool
bazi az in khanoma.. what more can i say =)

[Nazanin]

looool khodaeesh kheili badam miyad az in harf, hamasham too in film ha, ketabaee ke mikhoonam o ina, ino mibinam.
Chand nafar in harfo az kasane dige shenidan bad ina ham tekrar mikonan, they just repeat what they hear elsewhere "us women stick together" type of thing lol

[RoadRunner]

yeah lol
been there had that lol

[Nazanin]

Vay didi bazi az in zana khodeshoono loos mikonan o "emotional" bazi darmiyaran? "I just want u to hold me tonight" looooool

[RoadRunner]

hahah
are.. karesh namardi bod lool

[Nazanin]

Khoobesh kard, haghesh bood

[RoadRunner]

hahaah chizi ke avaz dare geleh nadare.. shoharam ghashang talafi dar avord

[Nazanin]

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.

Khoobesh kard shohare

[RoadRunner]

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked:
"Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask:
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said:
"It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."


*** hahah khanoma alan eshgh mikonan ***

[RoadRunner]

A man went skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seemed like days, he was ready to go. Excited, he jumped out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulled the ripcord. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing. He started
to panic, but remembered his back-up chute. He pulled that cord. Nothing happened. He frantically began yanking both cords to no avail.
Suddenly he looked down, and he couldn't believe his eyes. Another man was in the air with him, but this guy was going up! Just as the other guy passed by, the skydiver yelled, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yelled back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"