How to Stop Swearing

[Rasputin]

Swearing can easily become a habit and is generally a bad habit. It is reinforced by the company we keep, the people we are trying to identify with (e.g. the "in-crowd"), parental examples and workplace behaviour. Parents must be extra careful to curb swearing tendencies as they are the first and principal cause of swearing children. If you don't want people to get the wrong impression of you and you are tired of swearing instead of speaking clearly, then this is a short guide to helping you to think about why you swear and how you might be able to curb the habit.

Steps
Recognize that you have a problem. Swearing is a habit. A habit is always difficult to break, so the first thing that you need to do is recognise that you have a problem with swearing. If every second word is #!% this and !^#% that, then you have a problem. If you think the only cool way to reply to a friend, parent, teacher or co-worker is with an expletive, then you have a problem. If you don't know how to speak comfortably without swearing, then you have a problem.
Understand why you swear. Is it because you hang around with co-workers in a job nobody much enjoys and swearing is a way of toughing it out? Is it because the cool crowd uses it as virtually the only way to speak? Is it because you are practising defiance against a parent, teacher or significant other? Is it because you are angry, sad or afraid and can't express yourself more clearly (e.g. when something goes wrong shopping, driving, playing or at work, etc.)?
Know why you want to stop swearing. This isn't trite - you really must want to stop the habit in order to challenge it. If you are half-hearted or only doing it for a lark, you won't stop. You really must want to stop. Think about all the reasons why life will be better if you do stop. That is the best way to find the motivation to want to stop. Write them down if it helps.
Make a commitment with yourself to stop. It's easier said than done, as it requires concerted effort and constant self-feedback. Be goal-oriented and choose a period of time during which you will try not to swear. Write down the following:

Why you think you swear (e.g., the triggers, the reasons)
Why you want to stop swearing (e.g., better communication, better job prospects, better relationships with other people, brighter outlook on life, etc.)
Triggers you know will set you off (e.g., anger, certain company you keep, activities, music, TV programs, supermarket queues, weather, etc)
Ways you think you can either avoid or lessen these triggers (e.g., don't drive in icy weather, don't listen to music with expletives peppered through it, don't rise to bite back at your parents/spouse when they nag you, tell your friends you've had it with swearing, etc).

[Rasputin]

Express yourself better. Civilised and respectful conversation is not a swearing contest. You owe it to yourself to find the vast array of other wonderful words your language provides to fill up your conversations. If you don't, you are limiting your own ability to clearly and accurately express your feelings and thoughts to other human beings and ultimately, you will be less accepted and understood by those around you. When you find yourself about to swear, make it a point to find another word or phrase that will better convey the same emotion or message.
Accept responsibility. Only you alone can stop the swearing. Be prepared for some people to feel threatened by your stand. Tell them that it is a personal decision to better yourself and that they aren't being asked to stop doing anything. Still, you're setting a good example to them in the long run and some may be so impressed they'll copy. For those who disdain you for it, consider how much you really need their friendship; friends are supposed to be supportive.
Enlist support. Ask for the help of non-swearing/infrequently swearing friends and family (including spouse). Tell them you realise you have a problem and that you need to change. Make sure you pick non-judgmental helpers, though; you only want gentle reminders, not lectures or score-keeping. They may also have advice to offer on helping you to stop.
Punish yourself. Every time you swear, put money in a swear jar for charity. This is a great idea for work where swearing co-workers can all be encouraged to stop by placing money in the swear jar. But also make a pact to move on from the lapse and get better.
Reward yourself. When you go for a day, a week or similar time space, reward yourself with something - a CD, some clothing, a movie, a day free from chores.
Persevere. Swearing won't stop overnight - if it has become a habit, it is second nature for you to respond this way. Don't beat yourself up about lapses. Like dieting, you simply stop doing the bad thing and start over again from that moment. It isn't fatal and it doesn't mean you'll never stop. It just means you are easing out of the old habit slowly and you're encountering a few hitches along the way. Keep trying!

[Rasputin]

Tips

Don't feel you'll always have to avoid swearing altogether (unless you want to); there are occasions in life when even the most mild-mannered person will let go of an expletive - for reasons such as pain, horror or loss. The idea is to stop using it as a major source of communicating your thoughts, behaviour and language.

Research has shown that 21 days can break a bad habit. Use this to set a goal for yourself - no swearing for a period of 21 days!
Learn more words if you need to. English and all other languages are full of amazing words that will help you truly express yourself and get your real meaning across to others. Subscribe to Internet sites that give you a 'word a day' or read dictionary lists that relate to emotional expression and feelings.

If you use swearing as a source of attention, ask yourself what is lacking in your life and try to work on improving that aspect of yourself. If you feel easily confronted by other people, seek out groups that teach you about improving self-confidence, assertiveness training and learning to feel at ease in social situations (including crowds). If you prefer one-to-one, ask your doctor or find a psychologist to assist you.

If you want to swear because something has upset you, count to 10 and take really deep breaths. In the time you do this, the moment will pass.
Exercise off your anger and frustration. This avoids the need to speak, let alone swear and will keep in you in good condition, respecting and caring for yourself.



Warnings

Swearing can engender disrespect, hatred and violence. Stopping it will improve your relations with other people but continuing to communicate through swearing will dull your experience of life and potentially leads to misunderstandings that can end up in bad situations.

Seek anger management through professionals if your swearing usually comes about because of anger, frustration or irrational thoughts; otherwise you may end up hurting yourself or others and you won't live the full life you deserve to.

Don't use swearing as a weapon - it only makes you look disobedient, ignorant, angry, rude, impatient, ill-tempered and difficult. This is especially important around authority figures like teachers, police, judges, bosses.

Swearing gets you nowhere; manners open all doors.
Intense and relentless swearing is verbal abuse and in some jurisdictions can have you ending up in court for a fine or maybe even imprisonment.

If you have children, you MUST stop swearing. They will easily pick up your language and use it, making them seem rude, unpleasant and horrible to other people. Is that how you want the rest of the world to see your children? And is that a fair start to them in life to be seen in that light? Of course not. So this is a big incentive to stop.



Things You'll Need

Patience
Sense of realism about your goal - it takes time to change
A swear jar for charity
Friends and family who are supportive
Journal for thoughts, goals and self-promises

[golgol85]

Interesting article! I think those that swear constantly do have trouble conveying their thoughts and they feel that swearing will help. the reality is that in this day and age many look down on swearing and those that swear are seen as unclassy.

[Rasputin]

Ma (Iraniha) mesl-e Mediterrean zone Ppl kheili fohsh midim ! this article is good for ppl which wanna no awear anymore :=) .

[golgol85]

so do you swear and if you do when(what does it take to get you to swear)?

[Rasputin]

so do you swear and if you do when(what does it take to get you to swear)?

As a old ex marine.. yes,sometimes i swear... hahahahahahaha :=)

Vali kharej az shoukhi,fohsh dadan,chizeh khoubi nist ! kheili sa'ay kardam ta mitunam matlab peida konam ta in jaryan ro beh sourate sadeh beh doustan-e digeh yad avari konam ! bayad bad sohbat kardan va fohsh dadan, az zabane zibayeh ma pak va napadid besheh !