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How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
Making friends is not always easy. Especially if you are shy to begin with; let's face it, not all of us were born with a natural knack for social grace. But with that said, there is hope for us yet. Here's how to become social and make friends.
Steps
Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone makes a rude remark, just ignore them- they don't know what they're talking about.
Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you more.
Crack a joke. Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away - you have to be serious about some things, sometimes.
Smile as much as you can. Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
Share interesting/silly ideas.
Listen more rather than talking. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
If you know nothing about the person you're trying to get to know, say little things like "whats up." If they are hesitant about answering your questions, share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather. As Tom Waits says, "strangers talk about the weather." Try a compliment, that is, if you find something worth complimenting.
Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation and say you've been eating too much aluminum and mercury and thus developed Alzheimer's, but be careful not to offend anyone.
Be patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are making important contacts that may come in handy later in their lives. They have networks that may help them get decent jobs later. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Bootstrap yourself and work and play day to night until you feel good about yourself again. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem.
Be loyal. Little things count: If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).
Be nice to others. Always give compliments to those, but don't try too hard. If you are shy take a deep breath and risk it. You never know what might happen. Also crack a joke every once in a while. Again if you are shy, but inside crazy, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around, or dance, others will laugh, and find you fun and funny to be with.
It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.
Tips
Everybody likes attention (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.
Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend.
Think before you say anything to avoid saying the wrong thing. Don't let this stop you from attempting to talk to new people, though.
Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.
Mutual interests. Get up and join a group that has similar interests. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends.
Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.
Earn some money. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.
Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.
Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with small statements like "how's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Because confidence give you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.
Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absense of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people, its called social proof. As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."
Warnings
Avoid people who do the wrong thing. Someone who may put you in a situation that will lead to jail or bad health, mental or physical, can hardly be called a friend. Don't be the person making bad decisions either!
Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off.
Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!
Be yourself. DON'T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don't do, they'll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won't be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.
The 'key thing' in a conversation is the word 'you'. Ask them about themselves. DON'T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying "I" too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: "I like the cookie dough blizzard from DQ...What flavor do you like?"
Never put down yourself. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it ok for other people to do so too.
Things You'll Need
a personality
confidence
basic communication skills
Steps
Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone makes a rude remark, just ignore them- they don't know what they're talking about.
Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you more.
Crack a joke. Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away - you have to be serious about some things, sometimes.
Smile as much as you can. Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
Share interesting/silly ideas.
Listen more rather than talking. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don't hijack the conversation.
Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
If you know nothing about the person you're trying to get to know, say little things like "whats up." If they are hesitant about answering your questions, share something about yourself, such as where you're going or why you're there. Avoid talking about the weather. As Tom Waits says, "strangers talk about the weather." Try a compliment, that is, if you find something worth complimenting.
Don't expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation and say you've been eating too much aluminum and mercury and thus developed Alzheimer's, but be careful not to offend anyone.
Be patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don't worry, that will go away in short order.
Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are making important contacts that may come in handy later in their lives. They have networks that may help them get decent jobs later. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Bootstrap yourself and work and play day to night until you feel good about yourself again. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem.
Be loyal. Little things count: If you make an appointment, be on time. If you're in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don't have anything to say at the moment).
Be nice to others. Always give compliments to those, but don't try too hard. If you are shy take a deep breath and risk it. You never know what might happen. Also crack a joke every once in a while. Again if you are shy, but inside crazy, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around, or dance, others will laugh, and find you fun and funny to be with.
It's easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.
Tips
Everybody likes attention (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and they'll repay you warmly. It doesn't take much.
Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend.
Think before you say anything to avoid saying the wrong thing. Don't let this stop you from attempting to talk to new people, though.
Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.
Mutual interests. Get up and join a group that has similar interests. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends.
Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don't limit your possibilities.
Earn some money. You'll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you'll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.
Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.
Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with small statements like "how's it going?" and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them "How are you?" and "What have have you been up to?" in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Because confidence give you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people's approval then you are implicitly saying that "I value this person's opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth." You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else's value assessment of you.
Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absense of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people, its called social proof. As a result, they come to the conclusion, "if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well."
Warnings
Avoid people who do the wrong thing. Someone who may put you in a situation that will lead to jail or bad health, mental or physical, can hardly be called a friend. Don't be the person making bad decisions either!
Don't try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off.
Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!
Be yourself. DON'T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don't do, they'll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won't be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.
The 'key thing' in a conversation is the word 'you'. Ask them about themselves. DON'T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying "I" too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: "I like the cookie dough blizzard from DQ...What flavor do you like?"
Never put down yourself. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it ok for other people to do so too.
Things You'll Need
a personality
confidence
basic communication skills