Mother in Law

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

You are entitled to a peaceful life. You do not owe this woman your life - but she does deserve respect as your spouse certainly does owe his/her life to her. However, she's just a person, the same as you, and if her behavior is ugly, she isn't entitled to any sort of special privilege. Mothers-in-law sometimes assume that they're going to be a powerful matriarch. No. Respect and admiration are earned.

If she doesn't deserve it, you're certainly entitled to protect yourself and your marriage, and keep strong boundaries.

Hold your spouse accountable for dealing with his/her family - before you step in, your spouse should speak with her. You and your partner need to present a united front. This will be much more weighty if each of you makes it very clear to your own mothers how you expect them to behave with your spouse.

If your mother treats your partner disrespectfully, you should tell her - you shouldn't expect your partner to jump in your mother's middle. And similarly, you married your significant other, not his/her mother. Obviously, you will need to make adjustments and accommodations at times, but neither of you should have to completely change yourself because of a dominating, passive-aggressive, or clueless mother-in-law.

The more you can remind your spouse that s/he married you, not his/her mother, the more your spouse will address the issue, as s/he properly should, and respect you and the marriage.

Sometimes it really is just cluelessness and not malicious intent. Mothers-in-law get excited over the prospect of "gaining a son or daughter" and can over-do without meaning to over-step. Do be kind and compassionate - if Mom seems to just be excited about having a new family member, and wants to be super-involved, giving loads of helpful hints and bringing you bizarre presents (stuff she would love - like that weird rooster-themed toaster cozy) which you have no idea of what to do with, or she constantly makes suggestions to "improve" you ("Oh, this meat loaf is good, but let me give you my recipe - it's David's favorite!" Resist the urge to say, "Althea, he likes my meatloaf better than yours, he told me so.") be kind and gentle with her. You will catch far more flies with honey - if it's possible to do this way.

Your mother-in-law, if cultivated properly, can become a powerful and beneficent force in your personal life as well as a great support network for your marriage. But you have to work to make that happen, and the key to the kingdom here is communication. Just let her know if you need more alone time. It's only when she ignores your wishes after you've made them clear to her that you need to resort to some of the things in this article.

[Rasputin]

If she really attacks you, your husband or wife needs to support you.

Your spouse can simply phone her and said "I heard you say X to my wife/husband. I didn't think that was very nice, and it really hurt her/him. Do not do it again." (Note: it is very important that your husband or wife not leave you alone with her! He or she needs to be a witness! Otherwise, that mother-in-law may say that your interpretation of events is incorrect, etc.). But if she does something in front of your spouse, your spouse can say that it bothered him or her.

This is key. And it is your spouse's responsibility to handle his or her own mother, just as you should deal with your family, and he or she shouldn't have to.

Mothers-in-law sometimes "lay in wait" until no one else is in the room (including their own husbands, whom they want on their side).

Do not be alone with her. If you find yourself alone with her, immediately get up and go to the bathroom, take a walk, do whatever you need to in order to not be alone with her.


It's highly recommended that if you have a child, take them out of the room at the same time that you are leaving. If you don't trust your mother-in-law yourself, you can't trust her with your child. Don't allow her to say poisonous things to your child, undermining your relationship with that child.

If all else fails, run! If the above solution fails, just up and move to another city. Many people swear their marriages have been saved by this solution!

[EverGreen]

lol Sia how many times have you been beaten by your mother-in-law?

be nazar miad ke inaro tajrobe kardi ke dari migi.