Jealousy

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

Social psychology

The incidence of jealousy and the types of situations that give rise to jealousy vary markedly across societies. Margaret Mead reports a number of societies in which a man would offer his wife or daughter to others for sexual purposes, as well as cases in which "first wives" in polygamous societies would welcome additional wives as enhancing their prestige and lightening their work. She contrasts the Dobuans, whose lives were dominated by jealous guardianship of everything from wives to yams, with the Samoans, among whom jealousy was rare.

It seems probable that her attribution of these striking differences to social arrangements is correct. Stearns similarly notes that the social history of jealousy among Americans shows a near absence of jealousy in the eighteenth century, when marriages were arranged by parents and close community supervision all but precluded extramarital affairs. As these social arrangements were gradually supplanted by the practice of dating several potential partners before marriage and by more fluid and anonymous living arrangements, jealousy as a social phenomenon correspondingly increased.

By the late 1960s and the 1970s, jealousy — particularly sexual jealousy — had come to be seen as both irrational and shameful in some quarters, particularly among advocates of free love. Advocates and practitioners of non-exclusive sexual relationships, believing that they ought not to be jealous, sought to banish or deny jealous reactions to their partners' sexual involvement with others. Many found this unexpectedly difficult, though for others, conscious blocking of the jealous reaction is relatively easy from the start, and over time the reaction can be effectively extinguished. Some studies suggest that jealousy may be reduced in multilateral relationships where there is a clear hierarchy of relationships or where expectations are otherwise fixed. (See Smith and Smith, Beyond Monogamy.) Contemporary practitioners of what is now called polyamory (multiple intimate relationships) for the most part treat jealousy as an inevitable problem, best handled by accommodation and communication. In mainstream society, although jealousy still carries connotations of insecurity, there is a greater tendency to accept it as a normal and expected reaction to a relationship threat.

[Rasputin]

Individual coping

Where jealousy produces excessive discomfort or relationship difficulties, several strategies are available to reduce it. These include desensitization through controlled exposure to the jealousy-producing stimulus, revision of the underlying judgments (where these are irrational) through cognitive therapy, unearthing and addressing childhood conflicts that predispose one to jealousy, and changing the dynamics of the relationship to disrupt the jealousy-producing cycle. (Malach-Pines, Romantic Jealousy.)

Also, certain religious codes, such as Christianity and Buddhism teach that individuals must learn to "let go" of the things they desire most, thereby freeing themselves from the ultimately harmful effects of the emotion.

[Rasputin]

Etymology

The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), and from the Greek word for "ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast"), originally a condition of zealous emulation.

See also crime of passion, delusional jealousy.

The jealousy of God, as in Exodus xx. 5, "For I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God," has been defined by Pusey (Minor Prophets, 1860) as the attribute "whereby he does not endure the love of his creatures to be transferred from him".

"Jealous", by etymology, is however, only another form of "zealous", and the identity is exemplified by such expressions as "I have been very jealous for the Lord God of Hosts" (i Kings xix. 10).

[Snow]

age masalan yeki jealous bashe ke doost pesar ya dokhtaresh masalan ba doostash rafte ye jayi ke dokhtare ya pesare nemitoone bere chi, lets say masalan yekishoon rafte mosaferat, oon yekiam mikhaste bere vali nemitoneste ya nemishode,
or masalan pesare mire club vali dokhtare hanooz underage hastesh nemitoone bere vase hamin nemizare pesare bere club, ye nafaro mishnasam ke injorie, kheily jalebe baram, what do u call this ?? jealousy ?

[maloosak]

man fek mikonam its jealousy snow jon, chon nemikhad doost dokhtar ya pesaresh doro bare dokhtar ya pesaraye dige bashe, shayad fek mikone age dokhtar pesaraye digaro bebine oono vel mikone, yani tarse az dast dadane doost dokhtar ya pesaresho dare... so simply to fear that you gonna loose something you have and think is yours, is jealousy...

[nanakhafan]

che ghadr man az adamayi ke jealous hastan badam miad.
dore vare ma ke kheili jealous hast

[Parinaz_M]

man ba maloosak dar morde soale snow movafegham

nana joon hame on halate jealous boodano daran va bazi mogheha nakhaste adam ye kari mikone ke jealous boodanesho neshon mide

[Snow]

yeah i think so too, khob ye hamchin adami bayad chi kar kone ? shayad daste khodesh nabashe, az alagheye ziadi ke be pesare dare in kararo mikone.

[maloosak]

daghighan hamintore, aslan ta be kasi alaghe nadashte bashi, hatta age khodetam bekhay, nemitooni hasoody kony va hassas bashy roo karash, midoonam kheily eshtebahe ke nesbat be kasi ke doosesh dary jealous bashi, amma daste khode adam nist ke, albatte joz inke be khodet zarar bezani be kase dige zarar nemizani...

[Snow]

i know this is not for me tho, yeki az doostam injorie, hamishe miad pisham inaro taarif mikone, so that's why porsidam ke injor adama bayad chi kar konan.....vali fekr konam ba ye zare gozasht va ignore kardane taraf , in masale ta hadi az bein bere.....

[maloosak]

khob doroste, age oon doost dokhtar ya pesare doostet alaky hey ye karayi nakone ke doostet hasoodish bishtar tahrik she, are dorost mishe

[Snow]

akhe masale injast ke pesare az ghasd kari nemikone ke dokhtare hasoodish tahrik beshe ke, pesare har kari mikone dokhtare ehesh gir mide ya hasoodi mikone, maslaan mige in weekend ba dostat naro biroon, ba man boro biroon, club naro , inja naro onja naroo...

[maloosak]

khob shayad pesare ham hamin raftaro ba dokhtare dare o dokhtare fek mikone ke oonam bayad bahash hamin karo bokone, na?

[Snow]

na pesare faghat maslan nemizare dokhtare ba pesara hang out kone, like age bekhan beram biroon ghazayi chizi bokhoran nemizare, vali masalan age dokthare bekhad ba doostash bere mosaferat barash ok hastesh