8 Ways To Handle An Argument

[Rasputin]

Let's face it, no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while. With a few tips though, it doesn't have to be something that can harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind these 8 ways to handle an argument!

1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don't bring in past woes.
The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!

Finally, I leave you with one thought on preventing arguments. Let your partner know exactly when something upsets you. I've found that many people tend to not speak up when something bothers them, thinking that it is trivial to mention it. Unfortunately, what happens is after repeated times of not speaking up, some small occurrence happens and it ends up being the straw that broke the camel's back. The other partner, more often than not, has no clue what they are upset about and therefore thinks they are over-reacting. If you find yourself in this situation, deal with each thing as it happens. Don't let things build up until you explode.

Assignment: Get a journal. Every time you see something you don't agree with or don't like, write down everything about the incident or situation. Include when, where, exactly how you feel, etcetera. Then write down at least three solutions to the problem. If you find a way for you to fix the situation on your own, do it. When you need your partner's help, find a time to sit and talk about it with them. By writing in your journal, you'll have released many of the emotional feelings surrounding the situation or incident. This will allow you to have a calm discussion with your partner.

[huebg]

one of the more valuable things ive read in an extremely long time. thanks. i think the final note about dealing with things as you go is especially important, because i've begun to notice i may have a problem with it....

[Parinaz_M]

mer30 red wine joon, vaghean ye topici hasti ke hame bayad roosh kar konan

the most important thing is to listen and never judge the other person really fast.

[huebg]

one question.

something ive noticed amongst my friends. in problem-solving, i tend to be best able to express what im saying through writing (email, etc). a lot of my friends are able to do it through speech. sometimes i feel REALLY uncomfortable talking about something and somethimes they feel REALLY uncomfortable writing about something. how can these differences be consolidated?

[Parinaz_M]

you want to be able to tell that person exactly how you feel and what your thoughts are.
by sending emails and writing a letter you are able to express yourself without feeling shy and uncomfortable, because it's only you and your computer/paper.....
but when the other person that you want to talk to is standing right in front of you, you are worried about what they are going to tell you and you are not comfortable expressing yourself because you don't want to leave anything out.
some people are more comfortable talking face 2 face and some people are more comfortable by sending emails and letters, that just depends on that person's sintuation that they are in, their feelings, and self-esteem. situation.

[maloosak]

kheily kheily mamnoon red wine joon, man motmaennam haminghad ke be man in topik komak khahad kard be baghie ham komak mikone, man hamishe az hamoon silence treatmente ahmaghane estefade mikonam o entezar daram(albatte midoonam entezare bijayie) ke tarafam khodesh befahme man az chi narahatam, ba in topiket az in be bad bishtar roo raftam deghat mikonam, bazam merc

huebg joon man fek mikonam hamoon kari ke to mikony yani az tarighe email o name o ina kheily khoobe, chon man hamishe ba sohbat kardane face2face moshkel daram, yani ye seri harfayi ro amade mikonam vaghty mikham begam hich kodoomo be zaboon nemiaram, dar avaz ye mosht cherto pert tahvil midam

[huebg]

huebg joon man fek mikonam hamoon kari ke to mikony yani az tarighe email o name o ina kheily khoobe, chon man hamishe ba sohbat kardane face2face moshkel daram, yani ye seri harfayi ro amade mikonam vaghty mikham begam hich kodoomo be zaboon nemiaram, dar avaz ye mosht cherto pert tahvil midam

daghighan! manam mote'assefaane intoriyam. vali vaghti baa email hastam, mitoonam motma'in basham ke oon chizi ro ke mikham begam daram migam, bedoone taarof ya harfhaaye ezaafi.

va ma'moolan agar mas'ale jeddi bashe, emaile javabi ro ke be man mifrestan ro chand baar mikhoonam, ke motma'in basham ke hamoon chizist ke man fekr mikonam. vali ba'zi vaghtaa too harf zadan adamaa chizhaayi ro migan ke aslan nemikhastan began, manzoorhaayi ro mifahman ke aslan rabpti be oon harfe nadare.....

nemidoonam man shakhsan intoriyam...
dar zemn parinaz jaan mamnoonam baraye paasokhe shoma, vali hala man che kaar konam. masalan alaan man email zadam baraye doostam dar morede yek mas'ale, ba'd oon khaste ke telefoni hallesh konim. khob, manam ghabool kardam chon nemikhastam moshkel ro bozorg konam, vali mitarsam ke oon chizi ro ke mikham begam avazi begam. kari be e'temaad be nafs ham nadare, chon online ham bashe messenger ham bashe moshkeli nadaram....vali ye jooraayi kalemehaa baram madrak mishan, zende mishan. baraye man ye jooraayi kalemehaa kheyli bishtar az harfhaa ghaziye ro ta'reef mikonan. ba'd az in ke taraf ham raft man mitoonam beshinam 10000 bar bekhoonam va bebinam ke manzoore vaghe'ish chi boode, kolle ghesse ro too saram kaamel konam.

ouf cheghadr harf zadam. man chemidoonam, man faghat ye bacham....

[nanakhafan]

huebg joooon shoma chand saletoone mage

[Parinaz_M]

huebg joon age mikhay telefoni sobat koni, mitoni harfayi ke mikhay bezani ro rooye ye safe kaghaz benevisi ke on harfayi ke vaghean doost dari begi ro yadet nare,
say kon be harfe doostet kamelan goosh koni, va bad javabesho bede, va az on ham bekhah ke be harfat kamelan goosh kone ghablaz enke javabe toro bede,
va ta manzoore ham digaro nafahmidid telo ghat nakonid, chon moshgeleton ziyad tar mishe
good luck azizam

[huebg]

huebg joooon shoma chand saletoone mage

baa ejaazeye bozorgtaran, 18 saal o 8 maah

huebg joon age mikhay telefoni sobat koni, mitoni harfayi ke mikhay bezani ro rooye ye safe kaghaz benevisi ke on harfayi ke vaghean doost dari begi ro yadet nare,
say kon be harfe doostet kamelan goosh koni, va bad javabesho bede, va az on ham bekhah ke be harfat kamelan goosh kone ghablaz enke javabe toro bede,
va ta manzoore ham digaro nafahmidid telo ghat nakonid, chon moshgeleton ziyad tar mishe
good luck azizam

parinaz jaan, dishab harf zadam, hamechi kollllllllan hal shod. khoshbakhtaane man moshkeli baa goosh kardan be aadamaa nadaram va hamishe mizaram oonaa harfhaayeshoon ro bezanan.

mamnoon az komaketoon, ye chize jaalebi ham dar morede khodam yaad gereftam. in ham in ke vaghti mikham ehsaasaatamo begam, neveshtani rahattaram, vali dar hal kardane moshkelaat ba harf zadan ham khoob joor misham.

mamnoon.

[Parinaz_M]

aziz khoshhalam ke moshgelet bar taraf shod

[gg666]

this is the best wayto handle an argument
and then relpy this way
if it didnt't work, do this as your last option
and then relax
uote=RedWine]Let's face it, no one is perfect. No matter how hard you try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, you are bound to get into a disagreement once in a while. With a few tips though, it doesn't have to be something that can harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind these 8 ways to handle an argument!

1. Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
I'm sure you hate it when people interrupt you; give your partner the same respect -- even if you don't agree with what they are saying.

2. Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you know what they are saying, when in fact you may not have a clue. If your partner feels like you understand what they are saying, you'll find a way to end the argument far more quickly.

3. Don't say something you'll regret later.
Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.

4. Don't bring in past woes.
The past is the past... let it stay there. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never find a solution for the future your partner will feel less loved and respected, and you will always feel negatively towards your partner. People make mistakes. Give your partner the chance to recover from them, and encourage and support them when they make the right choices.

5. Learn to compromise.
If you can learn to compromise, you'll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn't like as well!

6. Realize that no matter what you say, you both may not agree on the issue at hand.
An argument is typically started because you want someone to agree with you about something. You think that the other person must not know all the facts, so you begin to explain it to them. The more your partner still disagrees with you, the more upset you usually get. But, if you realize that sometimes it is best to just let yourselves agree to disagree -- you'll show your partner that you not only respect their opinion, but respect their individuality as well. You never know, maybe later on they (or even you!) might change their mind.

7. Make a commitment to talk about the situation until it is handled.
It's far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work it out -- even if it takes all night. Nothing is unsolvable when you are working together to truly find a peaceful resolution.

8. Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement.
This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument, it will keep what matters most away from cruel words or intent -- your heart!

Finally, I leave you with one thought on preventing arguments. Let your partner know exactly when something upsets you. I've found that many people tend to not speak up when something bothers them, thinking that it is trivial to mention it. Unfortunately, what happens is after repeated times of not speaking up, some small occurrence happens and it ends up being the straw that broke the camel's back. The other partner, more often than not, has no clue what they are upset about and therefore thinks they are over-reacting. If you find yourself in this situation, deal with each thing as it happens. Don't let things build up until you explode.

Assignment: Get a journal. Every time you see something you don't agree with or don't like, write down everything about the incident or situation. Include when, where, exactly how you feel, etcetera. Then write down at least three solutions to the problem. If you find a way for you to fix the situation on your own, do it. When you need your partner's help, find a time to sit and talk about it with them. By writing in your journal, you'll have released many of the emotional feelings surrounding the situation or incident. This will allow you to have a calm discussion with your partner.

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