While there's no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make this distinction clearer for yourself.
Steps
Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. For example, love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, etc.
Look at each of those things and, in a different color for each feeling (e.g. red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love) circle the ones that you feel, if you feel any of them.
See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and, finally, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love).
Tips
Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
Sometimes the person that you love isn't always the person that you want.
Don't give up. Whatever you start or are involved in, don't quit it just because it seems too hard.
Ask someone that you trust who is older than you (preferably a parent) and has more experience to help you make the tough decisions about finding a spouse.
Lasting relationships are the those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat.
Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
Warnings
If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly.
Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you attracted to others when you are apart?
Steps
Write down everything that you associate with the person you're feeling strongly about. For example, love, butterflies, sex, holding hands, etc.
Look at each of those things and, in a different color for each feeling (e.g. red for lust, yellow for infatuation, and green for love) circle the ones that you feel, if you feel any of them.
See which of the three feelings dominates the page. If one doesn't stand out (like if the distribution seems pretty equal), move on to the following steps for more insight.
Ask your friends or, if you find it easier, ask a complete and utter stranger, so that you get an honest opinion and an outsider's point of view. Tell that person how you feel, and ask them if it sounds primarily like love, infatuation, or lust.
Watch a movie that relates to your situation like "Cruel Intentions" (which is about lust, and wanting what you can't have), "Down to You" (which is about love and leaving it all down to the other person), "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" (which is about none of them really but it's about making a mistake and putting it right), "The Phantom of the Opera" (which is about both lust and infatuation) and, finally, "Titanic" (which is about holding on to someone forever until you die - that is love - bittersweet love).
Tips
Keep in mind that in most relationships, you're feeling all three (love, infatuation, and lust) all at once, to some degree.
Sometimes the person that you love isn't always the person that you want.
Don't give up. Whatever you start or are involved in, don't quit it just because it seems too hard.
Ask someone that you trust who is older than you (preferably a parent) and has more experience to help you make the tough decisions about finding a spouse.
Lasting relationships are the those that are built on love - not infatuation or lust. Imagine the person you love in 50 years when they are old and fat.
Would that change how you feel about them? If yes, then what you feel now is most likely lust/infatuation - not love.
Friendship should also weigh into your decision to commit. In 50 years, if you don't genuinely LIKE your mate, you're going to be miserable.
Warnings
If you're not sure about your feelings or your relationship, take things slowly.
Spend time apart and see how you are feeling while you are away. Do you miss the person? Or are you attracted to others when you are apart?



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