The Dilemma of “Virginity”

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

Since traditionally the premise on women's sexuality has been based on being non-sexual until marriage, if the woman has been active before marriage, a deep sense of guilt and shame prevails within her psyche. Not only has she gone against the grain of her culture but she is also starting her marriage with a lie. As a result, the foundation of the marriage is weakened and the marital bond is built on shaky ground.

One can see that this is a vicious cycle. If the woman is suffering so will her partner, and if the marriage is suffering so will the children and the extended families of both individuals.

On the same token, if the woman takes on the preferred or “correct” mannerism in regards to her sexuality, and stays a virgin until she is married, other psychological and emotional barriers are created. One of the common outcomes for women who have suppressed their sexuality or did not engage in any sexual behavior during the early to mid adulthood years is the prospect of becoming “frigid” or being intensely cold or indifferent towards engaging in any sexual activity.

Because men have historically not been subjected to having their sexual behavior curbed or controlled, they do not have the same or even similar issues as women. Most often, Iranian men are quite active before marriage and are often shocked or disappointed to find that their partner seems so cold and detached from her body. While society tells them it is good that they are with a virgin woman, their inner feelings may be contradictory to that belief. So again, either way one looks at this situation, it has become a dilemma for both the men as well as the women.

Of course in writing about and addressing some of the dilemmas created within our culture, I do not imply or suggest that taking part in the opposite behavior is what is considered to be better or even healthier. One can clearly see this in the greater American as well as the European culture. Because these Western cultures became aware of these issues caused by inhibiting sexuality, their natural reaction was to engage in free and uninhibited sexual activity starting in their early teen years. Unfortunately, this belief system has also proven to be unhealthy to the overall well being of most people living in these cultures.

In conclusion, virginity in Iranian women has been a major concern and a dilemma for many people and their families. Due to the fact that sexuality has not had a healthier or a more acceptable means of expression in this community, many people, as a result, have been engaging in adverse behaviors. These behaviors are causing various psychological and emotional problems in both Iranian women and men. Learning to talk about these issues and addressing them in healthier settings such as individual or group counseling can be a more effective approach in dealing with these problems.

By Elham E.

[gg666]

I have only one thing to say...I dont belive in virginity...and all the dosputes are just senseless to me...thnx redi...ama vaghean nemifahmam chera baraye kheili ha inghadr moheme va bozorgesh mikonan...

[Rasputin]

Virginity barayeh kasi mohemeh keh hanouz virigin hast ! in kamelan moshakhaseh !

[gg666]

kheili haro mishnasam ke hata dorane virginty mohem nabood barashoon ke virjin bemoonan ya na..vali be dalayeli forsate inke sex dashte bashano peyda nakarde boodan..kheil ha ham mishnasam ke virgin nistand va az in babate narahatand...vase hamin manam batavjo be in chiza confuse misham...age adam be har chiz dorost negah kone va masaele bikhodi ro bahash ghati nakone be in dilema ha movaje nemishe

[Rasputin]

Ina chizhaei hast keh beh nazaram bishtar beh khodeh pesara va dokhtara marbouteh ! bedouneh inkeh beh tarbiateshoun ya shakhsiateshoun va ya hata beh dineshoun tavajohi besheh !

[Matinmelody]

ina bekhodeshoun marboute

[gg666]

age be khodeshoon marboote then why are you looking at it as a dillema

[shazz]

VaaaaY Khoda..Bazam in Mozu...Be Khoda its 2006

[gg666]

ey val...khosham oomad...

VaaaaY Khoda..Bazam in Mozu...Be Khoda its 2006

[jjbb]

akhe in tanha chiziye ke aghayoon hamash behesh fekr mikonan...
maloom nist ke kei mikhan bozorg beshan

[jjbb]

rasti mishe ye thread ham baz kard bara virginity aghayan ke maloom nist dar chand salegi az dast midan va kasi azash sohbat nemikoneh

[Rasputin]

rasti mishe ye thread ham baz kard bara virginity aghayan ke maloom nist dar chand salegi az dast midan va kasi azash sohbat nemikoneh

hamin ja dar moredesh sohbat kon !

[jewellry]

i'mma stay a virgin until marriage...

cuz of diseases u can get... and i want to be with a man i love.

but this is just for me. everyone is different so what is right for me is not necessarily right for other people.

[Rasputin]

i'mma stay a virgin until marriage...

cuz of diseases u can get... and i want to be with a man i love.

but this is just for me. everyone is different so what is right for me is not necessarily right for other people.

good for ya !