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How to Get Over a Break Up
We all go through breakups. They can be rough, and they can be amicable; no matter what, no one really wants to go through them. Breakups are handled differently by different people. These steps may not be perfect for everyone, but they can help!
Steps
Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up.
Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.
Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.
Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.
Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.
Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems.
Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, just think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.
Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.
Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things.
Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that maybe that person was your first love, but all good things have to come to an end. But when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.
Tips
You have to walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel all this and that you did your part, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.
Do not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he would be right now and if you should visit. Don't try to talk to him about the break up. Don't make yourself think negatively about yourself or your judgment, or anything else that will make you doubt your decisions or yourself.
If you want to save things from the relationship (letters, ticket stubs, that cute pink teddy bear), put it in a box. Put all of your other ex's things in the box, too. Look through the box every once in awhile; you'll see that yes, he was important, but you were you before him, and you will be you now. You got over those other men, you will get over this one, too.
Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Warnings
Don't look for distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache. You're supposed to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Ride it out--turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse.
Steps
Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up.
Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.
Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.
Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.
Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.
Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems.
Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, just think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.
Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.
Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things.
Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that maybe that person was your first love, but all good things have to come to an end. But when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.
Tips
You have to walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you could give. If you feel all this and that you did your part, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you'll be just fine.
Do not put yourself through more pain than you have to. Do not think about where he would be right now and if you should visit. Don't try to talk to him about the break up. Don't make yourself think negatively about yourself or your judgment, or anything else that will make you doubt your decisions or yourself.
If you want to save things from the relationship (letters, ticket stubs, that cute pink teddy bear), put it in a box. Put all of your other ex's things in the box, too. Look through the box every once in awhile; you'll see that yes, he was important, but you were you before him, and you will be you now. You got over those other men, you will get over this one, too.
Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Warnings
Don't look for distractions from the pain, emptiness, or heartache. You're supposed to grieve a lost relationship in which you'd invested yourself emotionally. Ride it out--turning to destructive distractions like drugs, alcohol, casual sex, etc. will only make things worse.
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