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Be Friends With Your Younger Sister
There is no silver bullet, no recipe when it comes to the heart. There are only general guidelines, rules of thumb, called "heuristics". What follows are a set of ideas that you might think about and try to use to become a better friend with a younger sister.
Steps
Bribery. This is a short term solution with large long term costs. Over time bribery reinforces a dislike of what you are bribing them to do, and it reinforces a love of what you are bribing with. Consider bribing a kid to eat spinach by giving them ice-cream afterwards. They rehearse how nasty spinach is and how wonderful ice-cream is every time you bribe them. After the period of bribing is over they hate the spinach more than when they started. The same thing goes for bribing a little brother or sister to "like" you. It is a long-term strategy to destroy any like they had for you.
Respect. Respect is earned, and you have to earn it from your sib. Study them and find out what they admire, and delight in. Understand it well enough and you can think of things you can do to win their admiration and delight.
Love Languages. Read the book "the 5 love languages". It asserts that everyone gives and recieves love differently. Its even possible for two people who are married and love each other dearly and speak in a variety of ways that love every day to not feel loved by each other, because they arent communicating the love in ways it can be recieved. Read the book, study your sister, find out the love language, and speak to her reliably in it.
Service.
Most older sibs like to use younger sibs as minions. The younger sibs dont like that. They know that they are human beings, and they value their own needs and wants. If you as an older sibling want to be a friend to your younger sibling, then study them and find out what their needs and wants are, and serve them.
True leadership is really the ability to influence, not to command. Its power isnt in the kings or rulers who command, but in the people who love greatly and serve greatly. If you want to have meaningful influence then become a servant to your little sister. Make her priorities your priorities. Serve her feelings as if you were feeling them yourself. If her feelings are hurt, yours should be. If she is delighted then you should be. Be in truth a servant to her deep-down heart desires without expecting or demaning her to be a servant to your or yours. She wont serve you, but she will learn to love you, and you will be part of the "us" group in her universe.
Tips
The way to tell the truth about a person is to watch words, and actions, over time. Your sis is watching you, and she regularly tries very hard to figure out what is going on inside of your heart. Lying isnt going to work well or long. Inconsistency in word and action isnt going to win her friendship.
This is a long-term investment, and you need to be committed to the long haul. If you want a friend for life you have to go into the relationship willing to stick with it for the long haul.
Warnings
People have seasons in their lives. As a teen the world around you appears to go insane, and from the world's perspective you seem to go insane. It's a season. Girls get out of it around 20, and guys around 24. There are times when all you can do doesn't mean anything to your sib. You can't win their love, and your great efforts don't appear to have an impact. Be consistent and wait out the periods of madness. That's what real friends do. At the end you might not have everything you hope for, but you might get more than you expect.
Steps
Bribery. This is a short term solution with large long term costs. Over time bribery reinforces a dislike of what you are bribing them to do, and it reinforces a love of what you are bribing with. Consider bribing a kid to eat spinach by giving them ice-cream afterwards. They rehearse how nasty spinach is and how wonderful ice-cream is every time you bribe them. After the period of bribing is over they hate the spinach more than when they started. The same thing goes for bribing a little brother or sister to "like" you. It is a long-term strategy to destroy any like they had for you.
Respect. Respect is earned, and you have to earn it from your sib. Study them and find out what they admire, and delight in. Understand it well enough and you can think of things you can do to win their admiration and delight.
Love Languages. Read the book "the 5 love languages". It asserts that everyone gives and recieves love differently. Its even possible for two people who are married and love each other dearly and speak in a variety of ways that love every day to not feel loved by each other, because they arent communicating the love in ways it can be recieved. Read the book, study your sister, find out the love language, and speak to her reliably in it.
Service.
Most older sibs like to use younger sibs as minions. The younger sibs dont like that. They know that they are human beings, and they value their own needs and wants. If you as an older sibling want to be a friend to your younger sibling, then study them and find out what their needs and wants are, and serve them.
True leadership is really the ability to influence, not to command. Its power isnt in the kings or rulers who command, but in the people who love greatly and serve greatly. If you want to have meaningful influence then become a servant to your little sister. Make her priorities your priorities. Serve her feelings as if you were feeling them yourself. If her feelings are hurt, yours should be. If she is delighted then you should be. Be in truth a servant to her deep-down heart desires without expecting or demaning her to be a servant to your or yours. She wont serve you, but she will learn to love you, and you will be part of the "us" group in her universe.
Tips
The way to tell the truth about a person is to watch words, and actions, over time. Your sis is watching you, and she regularly tries very hard to figure out what is going on inside of your heart. Lying isnt going to work well or long. Inconsistency in word and action isnt going to win her friendship.
This is a long-term investment, and you need to be committed to the long haul. If you want a friend for life you have to go into the relationship willing to stick with it for the long haul.
Warnings
People have seasons in their lives. As a teen the world around you appears to go insane, and from the world's perspective you seem to go insane. It's a season. Girls get out of it around 20, and guys around 24. There are times when all you can do doesn't mean anything to your sib. You can't win their love, and your great efforts don't appear to have an impact. Be consistent and wait out the periods of madness. That's what real friends do. At the end you might not have everything you hope for, but you might get more than you expect.
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