is love a one way or two way relationship

[NightOwl]

Hi

To just getting my head into this section too and commence a hot discussion I would like to ask a dobble question:

Do think a real love should be a one way, unconditional feeling and exhibition starting from a person towards another and independent of the nature or reaction of the other party?

......OR.....

You believe; love should be like a 2 way road, both parts should take the neccessary steps and be responsible, commited and conditionally related to each other?

explain why which one ( hint: find out what is ''Hesadat'')

I'll write my own opinion after getting provoked by you ppl....... looool

[zubin]

one way love is love in the making but is not complete without someone else's love back and continuously strengthened reciprical life and love

[Dokhtare_Malous]

"love should be like a 2 way road, both parts should take the neccessary steps and be responsible, commited and conditionally related to each other"

this is what i believe the real love should be 2 way raod between two people

[NightOwl]

Okey. then can I say as such: I love you, just if you love me too. I give you my love with the condition that you give me your love? if not then get lost. Exactly as it is concluded in the poem you attach to your post. it says:

I long you tonight,...it is only you in my heart,.... i am satisfied just being in your heart, and so on..... BECAUSE, I know that you think of me all the time.

You see in this option of love there is always an ''if'' or ''because'', and as you say, a conditional, mutual, predesigned relationship.

Well, some are agree with you and some not. those who are not agree with you may say, this is just like a business, a market philosophy, give and take,.. and basis for such a relationshp is Ego! 2 Egoes who meet each other at the half way.

The one with the bigger ego wins the battle always,... the other one claims: oh my heart is broken, which in other words means my Ego is crushed.

with all do respect.
Cheers.

[Khorsheed]

I think that one way love is a painful for the person who has the feelings.. for a person needs to feel affection for the person they care for ..
So a two way relationship is better .. just to have the care and love of the person you have strong feelings for ..
but sometimes a one way is better .. for sometimes.. you care for a person.. that really shouldn't get to know your feelings . .. .


h m mm . ..
Merci for sharing , ,
xoxo

[zubin]

looks like we ALL so far agree. that says something about the defintion of love...

I guess we'll wait until later when NightOwl provides us his or her analysis...

[golgol85]

i think love has to start from one person, but then it cant continue being from one person, otherwise like a flower it wilts. It needs to end up with both parties involved loving eachother, and although the love may not be the same amount in the beginning for each person, with the passage of time it becomes more and more close to being the same. One person has to make the first step, but after that both step together.

[Khorsheed]

"i think love has to start from one person, but then it cant continue being from one person"

I agree to this

[golgol85]

although love is a beautiful emotion, the more i think about it the more i realize i am intimitdated by it, even scared of it. the concept of relying on someone else to feel a certain way about me forever (or close to forever) scares me. your wanting someone to love you and loving someone else because you feel they want you to love them is based on trust: trust that the person will not change their feelings or go back on them.

[NightOwl]

An introduction to my final answer:

First I have to say that we should be careful not to confuse or mix a very important need of every human being with the topic of this thread that is: the need to be loved. This is a natural need of every person, everybody needs to be loved, adored, complemented, etc. The source of this general need is of course our Ego and then is the very first motivation of human being to be social.

Now let me give you some example of real love in a way that one can avoid to mix it up with desire.

example 1 for real love: is the love between a mother and her child. The love of a mother to her child is unconditional, demands nothing, and asks for nothing in exchange, it is just give and give, and nothing to take. It can extend its strength to the point that even a mother is willing to die but not to watch the child suffer. We have heard lots of histories about this love, even a cat in USA, got burned almost to death just to save her kits from a burning house.

Religious ideologies too refer to such a love when they refer the love of God to Human. The sign of it is the degree of sacrifice. For example, in Christianity God sacrifices his ''son'' to prove his love to Human. One can find other examples in other religions too.

The problem arises when we use the word LOVE to express a kind of feeling between 2 individuals. We use the word love to legislate it, to make it look clean, while the experiences shows that mostly it is a desire mixed with a psychological fear of to remain alone or not to be loved. We trade the need to be loved by falling in love to someone. So if you help me here and look deeply, what you find is that a real love can't be based on our Ego. Because Ego always thinks about self satisfaction at the first place, even though, it talks about a mutual one. This mutuality is actually a cover to hide the ugliness of its truth.

When you say ''I love you, if you love me too'' you are opening a negotiation ground for a business or trade, give and take, and in the other words: in every trade one demands more for himself/herself than for the other party. Jealousy is a known product of this kind of love. One even kills his/her lover if she/he be unfaithful. So the motivation of 2 way - conditioned love is nothing but the Vanity or better say ‘’Possession’’. Possession is the very first and the strongest feeling in every individual, the basis of Capitalism, and the reason why Cane killed Abel.

However, the real love, like other things in this world is a ''ONE'' contrast.

True love is one way, unconditional, conscious, with a free will and free choice. It says, I love you to the end, even if you don't give me a look. I'll burn my self like a candle to enlighten your way. I give you all and do not ask you a thing. And as many of you ppl. wrote in this section here and there: it is a contrast of beauty and pain, a delicious wine which kills you, and etc.

We can not have several kinds of real loves. There is only ONE LOVE and its rules should be true in every case. The only difference is how much we are ready to pay for this love. The level and grade of the price we pay determines our faithfulness to the love. I do not mean money but everything one have.

I have seen ppl. who die for their love while standing, with a deep smile of satisfaction on their lips.

Don't tell me love between man and woman is different from other loves. I believe on One world, One life, One love,... and One destiny,... but all as contrasts and as in the end..... You say Paradise and the hell? I say if it exists it is ONE place…The hell and the paradise are the two contrasts of ONE place called eternity.

This was just for now....

Goftam ke atash mikoshadam dar tabeh sahra
Gofta ke majooy ab o atash bash sar a paa
Goftam ke neshanam bedeh gar cheshmeii anjast
Gofta cho shodi teshneh tarin ghalbe to daryast
……… cho shodi teshmeh tarin,…… ghalbeh to ..daryast.

Peace

[Parinaz_M]

love is a 2 way relationship
and each partner's responsibility is 100% not 50-50

[NightOwl]

with all do respect; has this thing you say ever happened? have you ever seen a couple with the 100% +100% responsibility? I may agree with you if you say: It should be like this. But, dear freid, the real life is not like this, it has never been and never will be like this. Because it does not fit to the nature and chemistry of the human beings. Our first vary property is our Ego, Possesion and Vanity.

Although we repeat and repeat or wish or shout or pray for, .... that love is or should be a 2 way relationship, it will, and can not change the reality. Love is like an embryo which each individual creates it inside his/her own head and live with it or leave it.

peace

[Parinaz_M]

the 100%- 100% may not happen in every relationship, however, if the partners really love eachother and want to make theri relationship work, then they try their best to maintain in the 100% range or close to that.