The literals Back to how colorful The Persian Language

[Rasputin]

[Rasputin]

Another one of my favorites, which borders cannibalism, is “Jeegar e toe bokhoram!”

By the way, does anyone have a visual of Foolad Zereh? I am sincerely curious to see how ugly he was, or his mother must have been, to have found such a prominent place in our culture. I love to find that first guy, many hundreds of years ago, who after reading Amir Arsalan e Namdar, decided to use Foolad’s mom to describe how ugly someone was, back then! High school must have been a nightmare for Foolad!

The Persian treasure of proverbs is quite large and the play with their literal translation, endless fun. “My hand has no salt”, “I did not smell the palm of my hand”, “You saw camel, you didn’t see camel”, and “I make you a soup(Aash) with a lot of oil on top” or “She is not such a hot soup(Aash) to burn your mouth” – Why an Aash that burns your mouth is even good?

My other favorites are: “The boogieman took the pacifier”, “Our waters don’t go to the same stream”, “Go rub your whey”, “To put watermelon under one’s armpits”, “My *** burns”, “Bring the donkey and load the lima beans”, “Burnt Father”, “His brain picks up broken Bricks”, “These words will not make underwear for Fatti”.

Some seriously loaded and funny ones which I am sure you have either heard, or, when you hear you understand what they mean are:

“yaarou khayli khosh choss e, dam e baad ham ,mishine! “
“pool e koon dadan sarf e bavaseer mishe”
And “kalaagh az vaghti bache dar shod ye goh e seer ham nakhord!”

Although the ancient Persia was a cast society and traces of it can even be found in Iran today, we have countered with a few very loaded expressions targeting snobs, or people who boast such as:
” engar be ghondaagh e terme reedeh!”
“ beh koonesh mige donbal e man naya, toe bu midi” [very snob]
“ noonesh nadaare eshkeneh, goozesh abouataa mikhooneh”
And an almost impossible expression to translate literally is “Effade ha Tabagh Tabagh, Sag ha Be Doresh Vagh o Vagh” … and how many years did you say you have been speaking English?!

My buddy, Bruce Bahmani, particularly asked me not to mention this but I can’t help myself: “I ate the ground and my father came out”. He always laughs so hard when he says this that I don’t understand the rest of what he says.

Like I mentioned before, Farsi also lends itself to be reinvented and to be very playful. As an Iranian in America with kids, a lot of us have to deal with Fargilisi, a Persian and English mix of words and grammar.

A friend’s 2-3 year old daughter in her stroller was asking her dad “Daddy BehPoosh Mano”. Poor dad thinking the kid is cold, puts a blanket on her –After a long and frustrating conversation, he finally figured his daughter was asking to be pushed. Here is a few others that are either personal experiences, or have heard from others:

“Dad, gole MiGrowee?” <Are you growing flowers?>
“Dad, in GhessTeh ro ke Reedy, YekKey digeh Bokhor” <After reading this story, read another>
“Dad I Goozed”!
“Dad, een Dokhtareh Dareh Man o Messl e Divooneh ha Ranandegee Miknoeh” <She is driving me crazy>
“Sorkham Kard” <he made me blush>
“Khanoom ha va Aghayoons”
“Inno too Goh MeeKhaYn?” <Do you want this to go?>

Finally, when reading news, I sometimes encounter names and expressions which make me wonder how they would be treated in the Persian press.

Remember Jerry Cooney, the boxer? His manager is his brother “Chuck Cooney”. There are others, “Ann Reed”, “GoAnn Kahn”, “Jack Cash and his brother Joe Cash”, “Sara Dooley” and “Rague Bacon ”. Last year’s acting president of South Korea was someone name “Goh Kun”

I cannot imagine how they reported ANYTHING about him in the Persian press, OR, if he ever visited Iran, I love to see the expression on Mr. Khatami’s face as they are being introduced: “Hazrat e Khatami, EeShoom Aghaye Goh e Kun hastand!!”

Headlines must have read something like:

- Goh arrives in Tehran
- Khatami meets Kun.
- Kun And Khatami: United we stand!
- Refsanjani having dinner with Goh
- Kun and Rafsanjani, the untold story
- Goh fresh out of meeting with Khatami …
- Kun visits Ghazveen
- Goh’s popularity soars.
- Kun – Korean royalty?
- Will Kun succeed?
- Is Kun good enough?
- Will Goh be able to change?
- Will Goh return?
- Goh Cabinet …
- Goh, father of 3, … (I wonder what his kids names are : Sende, Peshgel, …)
- Goh hospitalized
- Kun Hospitalized
- Kun delivered speech (Fart??)
- Goh Kun, the struggle within.
… and my most favorite, if he says something I don’t like: Kun Goh Khord … (OR Goh Goh Khord) . I always loved my name, being the name of a Persian king and all.