RedWine
06-15-2006, 07:23 AM
Everyone has to follow their own spiritual path. It's a personal choice that others may have difficulty understanding. This is especially true for parents who follow one path and their child or children follow another. And while these steps do not guarantee that your parents will approve of your religion (nothing can guarantee that) following these steps assure that you have done your best to inform your parents in an intelligent, and most importantly, adult, manner of your personal religious choices.
Do not add links for a specific religion. All links of this nature will be deleted.
Steps
Wait. This is to assure you are secure in your religious preferences. Six months or so should do it.
Use the waiting time to do your research.
Start a journal to keep notes in regarding your spirituality. Include any questions you may have and the reasons why
Discover what you can about your chosen path. Is it monotheistic (worshipping only one deity) or polytheistic (worshipping multiple deities)? Are there any notable people in history that have worshipped as you do?
Search online for forums, etc. to find others who believe as you do. A good place to start is Beliefnet.
Purchase (if you can) a number of books about your religion. Just be sure to keep them in a place where your parents won't find them until you're ready.
Gather the notes you have collected over the last six months and organize your thoughts. You may have to re-write what you have written to assure that you have a solid foundation from which to discuss religion with your parents.
Ask your parents why they believe what they do.
Listen carefully.
Reaffirm where you agree with them.
Ask questions where you disagree.
Place the notes of this conversation into your journal.
Review your journal again. Is there anything in there that would be a good starting point for conversation? Look for similarities between your chosen religion and your parents religion. Especially points that specifically emphasize why your parents believe as they do. Thus prepared, you are ready for an intelligent conversation with your parents.
Tell your parents you have something important to discuss with them and you'll need some time to do it. Make sure that they are allowed to choose the time when this discussion is to take place.
Breathe, meditate, and ask your personal deity or deities for guidance.
Tell your parents you have been researching diverse religions. Watch for their response, if it is shocked or angry, tread carefully and discuss any concerns they may have about your researching religions. If it is curious or downright joyful, proceed with the next step.
Ask your parents what they know about your chosen religion.
Listen carefully to what they say.
Clear up any confusion they may have.
Keep up this back and forth of asking, listening, and responding until you are sure they understand your spiritual choice.
Tell your parents this is the religious path you have decided to follow. What happens from here is up to them.
Tips
If Christianity is not your religion of choice, don't be discouraged by the appearance of Beliefnet as this site covers a wide array of religions outside of the traditional Judeo-Christian. There are even forums focusing on every topic including, but not limited to Buddhism, Islamic, and even Earth-based pagan religions (such as Wicca and Druidic). Just click on "More Religions" if you don't see your religion of choice right away.
If you're unable to purchase the books you want, try the library, but do not go there without knowing which books, specifically, that you want. (Librarians are more than willing to help you locate a section that may include what you seek, or can point you to a particular author.)
If the guidance you receive from your personal deity or deities contradicts the steps listed in here, by all means follow that advice.
More often than not, you will find one parent is more open-minded to your spiritual path. If you can, pull this parent aside and ask him or her how best to approach the other parent. Assure them that persuading the other parent to accept your path is something you choose to do and you do not wish to drive a wedge between the two of them.
Warnings
Leaving books lying around in the hopes that your parents will find them is a surefire way to assure you get sideswiped with questions you are unprepared to answer.
Do not limit your resources to Beliefnet alone, as the discussions here only cover the mere surfaces of religious chat. While a great place to start, you'll need more than that in order to have an intelligent conversation with your parents.
Keeping your books in your school locker carries its own set of risks, especially if you go to a public school. Place a bookcover on them to avert immediate detection in case of random locker checks.
In the off chance you are confronted before you are ready, do not lie to your parents. This will only backfire and make it seem as if your religious choice "approves of that kind of behavior."
Despite all the best preparations in the world, some parents simply won't accept their child's chosen religion. If this is the case, simply understand it for what it is, an inability to accept the religion, not you personally.
Religious discussions can easily get out of hand no matter how much you plan. If you notice this happening, feel free to say "Perhaps we should discuss this later as it seems I am unable to keep my cool right now." Say this even, and especially, if you were the one keeping your temper in check. This squashes any off-topic battles before they begin.
Don't preach. This is doubly so if the religion of your choice advocates it. Remember, your parents have been following their religious path much longer than you have. Making them change their mind is far less likely than you changing your mind about your path. If you show you can accept their choice, they will be far more likely to accept yours.
Some parents will not accept your religious path no matter what you do. In this case, I suggest reading Make Your Parents Love You for Who You Are for further advice and suggestions.
Make sure you have the facts about your religious choices straight. Religion is not about the clothes you wear, the jewelry, converting others, or intimidating others. Wicca has nothing to do with creating fear of spells or using religion to intimidate people- it specifically teaches against it. Christianity also seeks to help others, not condemn them. Question the motives of anyone that tells you otherwise. Do not use your religion (Wicca, Christianity, Islam, Judiasm- whatever) as a cover for fashion statements, drug use, or criminal behavior. Your parents would rightfully oppose it!
Things You'll Need
Something you can use as a journal. A notebook and pen should do it. A traditional diary (complete with lock and key) can be even better.
Do not add links for a specific religion. All links of this nature will be deleted.
Steps
Wait. This is to assure you are secure in your religious preferences. Six months or so should do it.
Use the waiting time to do your research.
Start a journal to keep notes in regarding your spirituality. Include any questions you may have and the reasons why
Discover what you can about your chosen path. Is it monotheistic (worshipping only one deity) or polytheistic (worshipping multiple deities)? Are there any notable people in history that have worshipped as you do?
Search online for forums, etc. to find others who believe as you do. A good place to start is Beliefnet.
Purchase (if you can) a number of books about your religion. Just be sure to keep them in a place where your parents won't find them until you're ready.
Gather the notes you have collected over the last six months and organize your thoughts. You may have to re-write what you have written to assure that you have a solid foundation from which to discuss religion with your parents.
Ask your parents why they believe what they do.
Listen carefully.
Reaffirm where you agree with them.
Ask questions where you disagree.
Place the notes of this conversation into your journal.
Review your journal again. Is there anything in there that would be a good starting point for conversation? Look for similarities between your chosen religion and your parents religion. Especially points that specifically emphasize why your parents believe as they do. Thus prepared, you are ready for an intelligent conversation with your parents.
Tell your parents you have something important to discuss with them and you'll need some time to do it. Make sure that they are allowed to choose the time when this discussion is to take place.
Breathe, meditate, and ask your personal deity or deities for guidance.
Tell your parents you have been researching diverse religions. Watch for their response, if it is shocked or angry, tread carefully and discuss any concerns they may have about your researching religions. If it is curious or downright joyful, proceed with the next step.
Ask your parents what they know about your chosen religion.
Listen carefully to what they say.
Clear up any confusion they may have.
Keep up this back and forth of asking, listening, and responding until you are sure they understand your spiritual choice.
Tell your parents this is the religious path you have decided to follow. What happens from here is up to them.
Tips
If Christianity is not your religion of choice, don't be discouraged by the appearance of Beliefnet as this site covers a wide array of religions outside of the traditional Judeo-Christian. There are even forums focusing on every topic including, but not limited to Buddhism, Islamic, and even Earth-based pagan religions (such as Wicca and Druidic). Just click on "More Religions" if you don't see your religion of choice right away.
If you're unable to purchase the books you want, try the library, but do not go there without knowing which books, specifically, that you want. (Librarians are more than willing to help you locate a section that may include what you seek, or can point you to a particular author.)
If the guidance you receive from your personal deity or deities contradicts the steps listed in here, by all means follow that advice.
More often than not, you will find one parent is more open-minded to your spiritual path. If you can, pull this parent aside and ask him or her how best to approach the other parent. Assure them that persuading the other parent to accept your path is something you choose to do and you do not wish to drive a wedge between the two of them.
Warnings
Leaving books lying around in the hopes that your parents will find them is a surefire way to assure you get sideswiped with questions you are unprepared to answer.
Do not limit your resources to Beliefnet alone, as the discussions here only cover the mere surfaces of religious chat. While a great place to start, you'll need more than that in order to have an intelligent conversation with your parents.
Keeping your books in your school locker carries its own set of risks, especially if you go to a public school. Place a bookcover on them to avert immediate detection in case of random locker checks.
In the off chance you are confronted before you are ready, do not lie to your parents. This will only backfire and make it seem as if your religious choice "approves of that kind of behavior."
Despite all the best preparations in the world, some parents simply won't accept their child's chosen religion. If this is the case, simply understand it for what it is, an inability to accept the religion, not you personally.
Religious discussions can easily get out of hand no matter how much you plan. If you notice this happening, feel free to say "Perhaps we should discuss this later as it seems I am unable to keep my cool right now." Say this even, and especially, if you were the one keeping your temper in check. This squashes any off-topic battles before they begin.
Don't preach. This is doubly so if the religion of your choice advocates it. Remember, your parents have been following their religious path much longer than you have. Making them change their mind is far less likely than you changing your mind about your path. If you show you can accept their choice, they will be far more likely to accept yours.
Some parents will not accept your religious path no matter what you do. In this case, I suggest reading Make Your Parents Love You for Who You Are for further advice and suggestions.
Make sure you have the facts about your religious choices straight. Religion is not about the clothes you wear, the jewelry, converting others, or intimidating others. Wicca has nothing to do with creating fear of spells or using religion to intimidate people- it specifically teaches against it. Christianity also seeks to help others, not condemn them. Question the motives of anyone that tells you otherwise. Do not use your religion (Wicca, Christianity, Islam, Judiasm- whatever) as a cover for fashion statements, drug use, or criminal behavior. Your parents would rightfully oppose it!
Things You'll Need
Something you can use as a journal. A notebook and pen should do it. A traditional diary (complete with lock and key) can be even better.