Love As Therapy

[RedWine]

Love is the key to all healing.


Nothing heals better - emotionally - biochemically / physically and mentally than love - or experiencing the frequency of love - as all is frequency.

If you have never felt this love - your soul seeks to heal the issues which can lead to this experience.

Some people are happier and healthier giving love - while others need to be loved to remain healthy. Love should be in balance as that is the key word in all healing.

Love affects all species - as they seek to create peace and balance in their experience here.

The ultimate healing from love comes with union/reunion of self or that which you see as God.

Love....we search, hunger, pray for this too-often elusive emotion. When we experience it, we revel in the bliss love elicits and bask in the warmth that blankets us with caring, gratitude, comfort, and a sense of all-around well being. Little have we known that this wonderful feeling we call love does, indeed, create well-being. In fact, feeling love sets forth a complex series of events within our bodies that generally bring about better health.

A distinction must be made between "falling in love" and "being in love" or feeling love in general. Simply defined, falling in love is part of the initial stage of a relationship, in which we feel strong passionate feelings of attraction, both emotional and physical, to another person. If we are fortunate, this stage leads to being in love, a deeper devotion and affection, which may develop and deepen over time. Feeling love is much like being in love. However, we can feel love for someone who is not a romantic partner; in fact, we more often feel love without being "in love." We frequently extend the more general kind of love to relatives, friends, even pets.

Numerous studies prove that love does, indeed, improve our health. These studies look at love not only in the context of male-female primary relationships, such as marriage, but also in the context of a person's general social support and connection to others. In other words, these studies examine both relationships where participants are "in love" and those in which we feel love for someone.

Dean Ornish, M.D., has served as a pioneer in this work. In his book, Love and Survival, the Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy he reports on many such studies. For example, he helped conduct a study at Yale that involved 119 men and 40 women undergoing coronary angiography. Those who felt the most loved and supported had substantially less blockages in their heart arteries than the other subjects. In a related study, researchers looked at almost 10 thousand married men with no prior history of angina. These men had high levels of risk factors, such as elevated cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, and electrocardiogram abnormalities. Those who felt their wives did not show them love experienced almost twice as much angina as the first group, who felt their wives did show them love.

While feeling loved appears to benefit our heart's health, giving love seems to do the same for our aging process. The results of a study of more than 700 elderly adults showed that the effects of aging were influenced more by what the participants contributed to their social support network than what they received from it. In other words, the more love and support they gave, the more they benefited.

Social ties with friends, family, workers, and community that involve love and intimacy of any type also may help protect against infectious diseases. In a study of 276 healthy volunteers ranging in age from 18 to 55, all participants received nasal drops containing rhinovirus, which causes the common cold. Researchers assessed subjects on 12 types of relationships, including relationship with spouse, parents, parents-in-law, children and other close family members, neighbors, friends, co-workers schoolmates, and member of various groups. They scored a point for each type of relationship if they spoke to a person in that category at least once every two weeks. While almost all of the people exposed to the cold virus were infected, not everyone developed the signs and symptoms of a cold. The participants who reported only one to three types of relationships had more than four times the risk of developing a cold than those reporting six or more types of relationships.

"When you feel loved, nurtured, cared for, supported, and intimate, you are much more likely to be happier and healthier. You have a much lower risk of getting sick and, if you do, a much greater chance of surviving," Ornish concludes in his book.

[RedWine]

Love is a positive high frequency emotion which can heal and help us overcome many obstacles and appear to heal. To watch a person who is ill fall in love - is often like watching a miracle. It is more about mind over matter. When you are in love you feel infallible. You walk fly. You would never create an illness or allow anything detrimental into your energies as you want to remain on that high forever.

Love refers to the emotional body - more specifically the heart chakra - the soul - which we are here to heal! If we heal the heart we create the balance we seek and thus are able to release from the emotional bondage we experience in 3D - the physical realms. Our soul separates from its polar opposite when we come into physical form. It spends its lifetimes seeking love and trying the heal the pain of that separation - until soul reunions is achieved. This emotional concept of love is connecting with twin flame separation.

Romantic love can help us heal - but is it a quick fix - rarely permanent. As we know - the adrenaline high of falling in love does not last forever. I have seen depressed people who have fallen in love - function perfectly - until the high is over - which can last days.. weeks...or months...up to 3 years. After that - the depressed person goes back to their emotional problems as the high feeling of love subsides. Sometimes the depressin that follows is deeper than before. Professional help should be sought at this time.

The best love for healing - is balanced love with compassion, acceptance, and understanding. It is a spiritaul and emotional high which can be romantic - but is more powerful as it lasts.

Chemistry....

Falling in love produces certain chemical reactions as well as hormonal effects in the body that create an emotional high unmatched by any other means of healing. Love is in the mind and is fueled by chemicals and chemistry. There is something in chocolate that affects the chemistry of the brain in the same way - hence we often substitue chocolate for love - or give chocolates when in love. The candy kiss - is chocolate.

[RedWine]

When two people are attracted to each other, a virtual explosion of adrenaline-like nuerochemicals gush forth. Fireworks explode and we see stars. PEA or phenylethylamine is a chemical that speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells. Also, involved in chemistry are dopamine and norepinephrine, chemical cousins of amphetamines. Dopamine makes us feel good and norepinephrine stimulates the production of adrenaline. It makes our heart race! These three chemicals combine to give us infatuation or chemistry. It is why new lovers feel euphoric and energized, and float on air. It is also why new lovers can make love for hours and talk all night for weeks on end. This is the chemistry or the love sparks we all seek.

Singles search for love armed with a list of qualities desired in a mate/lover, such as honesty, fidelity, loyalty, sense of humor, intelligence, warmth, etc. Yet when that person appears they say, they are really nice, but nothing clicked, just no chemistry. We always seek the chemistry high.

Unfortunately, we hear that click when we recognize our original parent/child situation. That's when our brain really gets those phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving.

Some people become veritable 'love junkies.' They need chemistry or this chemical excitement to feel happy about and intoxicated by life. Once this initial rush of chemicals wanes their relationship crumbles. They're soon off again, detectives seeking a quick fix to their forlorn feelings: another chemical high from infatuation. These love junkies also have one other problem. The body builds up a tolerance to these chemicals. Then it takes more and more chemistry to bring that special feeling of love. They crave the intoxication of chemistry and infatuation.

Many adults go through life in a series of six-month to three-year relationships that keep them high. If these love junkies stay married, they are likely to seek affairs to fuel their chemical highs.

Studies conducted at the Institute for HeartMath in Boulder Creek, California, confirm the health-improving and life-affirming effects of love on the human body. By studying the heart's rhythms, researchers there have discovered that when we feel love, or any positive emotion such as compassion, caring, or gratitude, the heart sends messages to the brain and secretes hormones that positively affect our health.

"Our heart rate changes with every heartbeat," Rollin McCraty, director of research at the Institute of HeartMath, explains. "It creates patterns we call heart rhythms." Researchers see the difference in heart rhythms easily when study participants wear portable recorders that allow researchers to monitor their heart rhythms as they go about their day. These rhythms provide "a window" into the inner workings of the communication system between the heart and the brain.

McCraty believes the heart actually monitors the blood stream for hormones and translates the hormonal information into neurological information, which cascades up into the higher brain centers, like the cortex.

"When we get stressed out or mad or worried, the bottom line is that the heart's rhythmic beating pattern becomes very incoherent, and that has the effect of inhibiting the brain's cortex," McCraty explains. "When we feel emotions like love and appreciation the heart switches into a very rhythmic, coherent, beating pattern that facilitates cortical function." These coherent heart rhythms, he says, cause an "inner synchronization" of the systems in our body, which then affects how we think, function, and fight off disease.

Not only does the heart communicate with the brain via the nervous system, its rhythms affect the functioning of the nervous system itself. The autonomic nervous system is divided into two branches, one that speeds things up and another that slows things down. "When we are in a non-loving state, when we are angry at someone, the two halves of the nervous system get out of sync with one another. It's like they're fighting each other: one tries to speed the heart up as the other tries to slow it down. This is what creates this very erratic heart rhythm.

"When we are in a loving state, our hearts go into coherent heart rhythms," says McCraty. "This is because the two halves of the nervous system are in sync and operating much more efficiently together. That allows the body to go through its natural regenerative process," he explains.

[RedWine]

"If we feel love and compassion, that boosts our immune system."

The effect of which McCraty speaks showed up in a study documented by Doc Childre, architect of the HeartMath program. When subjects of the experiment felt angry for one five-minute period, their cortisol levels increased. Cortisol, known as the stress hormone, suppresses the immune system. Thus, these subjects experienced suppressed secretory immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antibody, for up to six hours after feeling angry for only five minutes. Secretory IgA serves as the human body's first line of defense against disease. Thus, lower than normal levels of IgA, leave us more susceptible to colds, flu and respiratory disease. When the subjects of this study felt love and appreciation for just one five-minute period, their secretory Iga rose significantly. While the rise in IgA spikes after feeling love for five minutes and then drops off, it then begins a slow rise that continues for many hours afterward.

A few years ago researchers at the Institute of HeartMath used their tools to teach 30 people how to feel love in a conscious manner. One month later, they measured the study subjects' levels of both cortisol and DHEA, known as the anti-aging hormone. They found that the cortisol levels for the whole group had decreased 23 percent while the group's DHEA levels increased 100 percent across the board.

"The measurement of those two hormones is considered by many, including myself, to be a very good measure of stress and aging" says McCraty. "If they are out of balance, such as high cortisol, low DHEA, that basically is rapid aging. Learning to love or to love more consciously, more of the time, brings those hormones into balance. This is a very direct pathway to see how love affects health."

Cardiologist Bruce Wilson, chairman of the Medical Education Committee at Columbia Hospital in Milwaukee, WI, found that many of his patients suffer not from the five identifiable risk factors for heart disease, which are family history, cholesterol elevation, smoking, diabetes, hypertension, but from the effects of a stressful life. In his work as both a doctor and a HeartMath trainer, Wilson reports that he has seen people shift their heart rhythms from anger or stress to love and benefit from the physiology.

Another body of work sheds light on the health benefits of love by looking at the makeup of emotions. Candace Pert, Ph.D., research professor at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, D.C., and author of Molecules of Emotion, Why You Feel the Way You Do (Scribner, 1997), reports that endorphins, which are associated with the feeling of bliss, help us "bond" with other people.

In other words, they help us form loving relationships. Endorphins are "natural endogenous morphine-like substances that we produce in our brain, sex organs, gut, immune system, and heart," says Pert. "Certainly the data would suggest that endorphins are involved" when we feel love. Endorphins are known not only to create a positive, bliss-like feeling -- which we definitely associate with love -- but also to stimulate the special immune system cells, called Natural Killer cells, which fight cancer. In addition, they improve digestion and elimination.

While the fact that love improves our health may be good news for people in an intimate primary relationship, it may appear just the opposite for those who are not. However, to reap the benefits of love you need not have a lover or spouse. The love you feel can be for a co-worker, a parent, a child, or a sibling. In fact, it can even be for your dog, cat, fish, or plants. "Somebody could be flooded with love for their pet or their God and get just as much of a boost...as someone who just started going out with someone new," comments Pert. There are numerous studies illustrating the fact that people live healthier lives and heal better after a major illness or surgery if they own a pet. In particular, many such studies have shown that the elderly fare better if they own pets.

For those who still feel doubt about the power of love to improve their lives, yet one more hope exists. Wilson suggests that people can apply HeartMath techniques to the deep gratitude or appreciation you feel toward a movie, a concerto, or another activity or event that fosters in you positive feelings."One step in this technique has to do with focusing very hard on one moment of sincere appreciation," Wilson explains. He conjures up a sunset in Cancun, though your own chosen focus may be closer to home. "You call up one of your many images, think of that special moment, center yourself in your heart, and access this physiology. Then these changes in physiology totally change how you are interacting with your environment. They change your internal physiology. They change the balance in your autonomic nervous system. Literally," he concludes.

One question still remains unanswered: Is falling in love better for our health than being in love or feeling love? While McCraty feels that truly falling in love can boost health, he notes that dating and the insecurity that can go with looking for new relationships can involve a fair amount of stress. Pert agrees: "We could speculate that in the beginning stages of love there is more of an excitement factor, which would produce some of the classical neurotransmitters, like norepinephrine and dopamine, which are involved with excitement," she explains."If you are actually flooded with norepinephrine, [viruses have a hard time getting in." But Pert urges us to "celebrate old love as well." She adds, "Maybe as [love] becomes richer and deeper and different...then additional chemicals come into play." In any case, we can all be reassured that the more we love and are loved, the healthier we become.

[RedWine]

Frequencies of Making Love

As you move into higher frequency, making love without emotional connection, the linking of the chakras during union, the linking of your soul with the other person's which leads to greater connection with your higher self, twin flame, becomes very important.

Many people make love for physical satisfaction and in many cases that works, as both souls want only that experience.

Once you decide that you want to evolve towards your twin soul - the merging of your souls aspects - it is difficult to feel fulfilled in a union that is only physical.

If you feel a soul connection, not recognized by your partner, they may be there to help you reconnect, to feel in greater depth, to sense your twin flame who can work through your lover to make the experience more profound.

They enjoy the physical experience, while you enjoy the connection on many levels.

Just don't be deluded when that partner doesn't understand and cannot go to the same place you are.

Your partner can leave to find another for physical pleasure, leaving you wanting more of this total experience.

If your soul wants it, it will attract another partner, but remember your soul may see you as one who falls in love too easily, the union of the physical a vehicle to the union of soul, but that once again, you will use the chemistry of the situation to get you there but your partner will once again move on.

It is difficult to remain in the place of union when your partner seems to fail you emotionally.

To experience love and union is something every soul should seek while in 3D.

You might ask, "If my frequency is higher, can I lift the frequency of my partner during love making?" That all depends on your partner's need to connect in that way - to connect their chakras to yours during the experience - it their twin soul to join in the union! In the beginning of the love relationship, most likely you can raise their frequency, as that is the high one feels in union the chemistry - alchemy of the experience - new and worth exploring. But after a time, that fades and soul - having gleaned what they will from union - will move on - or not take the union to higher frequency.

As with all things in this reality - it is a personal experience.

Remember that to reunite with Self - you need balance and the highest frequency - we call love! I just love it!

[RedWine]

The word 'love' is as mysterious the word 'God'. In fact, many cultures including Persian consider the two words synonymous, calling love 'Godly' and hate as un-Godly. And yet these acronyms are just for mere convenience, never representing the true nature of God or Love the understanding of which is beyond our comprehension. To me the reason for this is that we as imperfect humans are just a tiny part of the huge whole-the part can never fully understand the whole. I consider God and Love as a source of all life and energy that provides me with synergy to live in peace with myself and with my fellow beings, be it humans, animals and all elements of the nature at large. I look at God and nature from a 'cause and effect' standpoint. I only feel the effect and not the cause. Of course for the curious humans this lack of understanding is a kind of pain and perhaps the atheists deny God to avoid that pain.

Most of us find it easier to call God and love 'the mysterious force that makes the world go round. Love is something that can brightens our moments and energize us to do what otherwise looks impossible to us. For believers in real Love only a limited amount of mundane pleasures or material possession are necessary as they consider these as a means to an end and not an end by themselves. What evidence better than Eastern, including our Persian writers, philosopher, poets and artists most of whom labored in abject poverty to do what they did and to create what soothe our souls right up to, and I am sure, beyond Information Age and high-tech era. Not only they did superb job but often better than their counterparts in Western world. A more mystery is that even in our high-tech world we cannot reproduce their work. In fact an increasing number of modern scientists are trying to find the answers as to how so many writings have so much impact on human soul than do medicines.
It is fascinating to note that in a world in which Westernization was cool, a process of what I call Easternization is taking place. Example abound and include all sorts of meditations, exercises for myriads physical, social and spiritual ills including weight loss in the midst of our 'pop culture' and 'pill culture', if you will.
We are so blinded to the power of true love that we underestimate the enormous negative economic impacts of its absence on individuals, societies and countries. It seems like as we confuse the power of real love with the superficial pleasure of evil acts, knowledge with ignorance, humility with arrogance, truthfulness with hypocrisy. We pay a high price for this for curing these ills and continue doing so with no end in sight.

There is no way out of this quagmire unless we enlighten our world and let the true love bloom and its marvels appear. In effect, we are withering as plants do in the absence of sunshine. However, it is fortunate to know that many are already into this process of getting out of this seemingly impossible and self-destructing situation. , Just think of how much better our world would be if we even brought back motos like 'all for one and one for all' philosophy. If we promoted the Chinese saying like, 'if everyone swept their door step the whole city would be clean'. Perhaps Thomas Jefferson said it best, 'enlighten people and the tyranny of body and will disappear like evil spirit in the dawn of a day.' I should mention that I am not naive to think that we can change the whole world and turn everyone into top-notch philosopher, but I definitely believe that our world is suffering from such a hunger fro true love that even if we move the public an inch we would be ahead a mile.

The following is a part of my attempt to introduce a few of some of my own English translations of various Persian words of wisdom I call 'literary tranquilizers', food for thought or food for soul, if you will. It would have been nicer if I could accompany the original Persian verses, but we will have to go only with English until Persian Mirror has the capability of handling Persian text. These words of wisdom or literary tranquilizers, in addition to their beauty, cost almost nothing, have no side effects to require a new medication to prevent the side effect from the previous one and to suck our pocketbooks dry, drive us to psychiatrists to do more of the same and finally to financial consultants and collection agencies to repossess our belongings and drive us completely crazy!

I am writing these with a full faith that all people are decent and have an inner desire to seek a meaningful lives that is free from abuses and excesses. If the people are educated with that purpose in mind we could prevent habits like substance and devote its enormous budget to other worthy causes. There is no accurate account of this loss for all countries, but for the US this, reportedly amounts to more than 100 billion dollars per year with no end in sight. America now, with some 5% of the world population uses about 50% of its illicit drugs. It is Ironic that while these are happening, young generations in developing countries emulate America for what to them is a meaningful life rather than taking refuge in their own culture. In the meantime hunger for more meaningful life in the West is driving an increasing number to the East.
I am a scientist and not a fanatic and I don't consider the West or East totally right or totally wrong, but I do think that each has its merits. I think if there is a solution to our increasing problems it is in combining the two. That means that some modern medicines have their own merits and the food for thought or spiritual approaches have their own place. Perhaps modern medicines are best for bodily infection whereas Eastern philosophies are best for the infection of the soul, as I call it.

With that introduction I am sharing my views with you a few English translations of my own from the Eastern or Persian sources all of which have helped me to maintain my physical and mental health as much or even more than my Western education have satisfied my intellectual needs.


http://www.persianmirror.com/Images/Articles/908/Farshchian1.jpg

[RedWine]

Power and permanence of universal Love:
The essence of a verse from Saadi

I am in love with that mysterious power that made us all,
The power in absence of which the heavens would fall.
I get uplifted when I think of that power,
And when I don't my life is indeed very dull.

Sometimes I murmur a verse from Hafez, 'dar tarigheh eshgh baazi..' where the power of love changes pain to pleasure:

The pain of your love is such a great pleasure,
For which I'll never need a preventive measure.
The happiness I find in my humble hut,
I do not exchange with any worldly treasure.

Other times I resort to Rumi who equates the power of God and power of love that is within each of us.
Rumi addresses those who think the only way to reach God is through rituals and going to special places.

O' seekers of God, your are it, you are it,
God is within you, just admit, just admit.
You look silly looking for what you have not lost,
God and you are one, just admit, just admit!

I often recall my frequent visits to our Saadi's tomb when I was teaching in the lovely city of Shiraz.
I especially recall the verse engraved on the iron gate of the tomb:
'zeh khaakeh saaieh Shriaz booye eshgh aayad, hezaar saal pas az margeh oo garash booi.':

You will detect a fresh fragrance of love from this earth,
If you exhume Saadi a thousand years after his death.

But yet the greatest verse I enjoy from Saadi is where he expresses his universal outlook the best way I have seen anywhere, the corrupt version of which is called globalization these days. That verse starts as 'bani aadam azaayeh yekdigarand...':

Regardless of color, creed and shape of our face,
We are members of one body called Human Race.
If one member is in pain and I don't offer a solace,
Within the Family of Man, I don't deserve a place.

Here is one of my contemporary translations of Hakim Omar Khayyam on love and enthusiasm for life.
In Farsi this starts as'ay vaay bar on del keh dar oo soozi nist...'

Life without love is a dark day or a bad news,
As is a headlight at night without any fuse.
Each day you spent without love and hope,
Is a day wasted, a day that was of no use.

When I find a stranger a better friend than a relative I recall Omar Khayyam's verses:

Strangers are relatives if they befriend,
Relatives are strangers when they offend.
A poison is a medicine if it cures,
Cures are poisons if they rend.


When I seek a different spiritual uplift, I contemplate some other Rumi verses. Here is my own
translation of one-magic of love:

Love can make your bitter moments sweet,
Love can sweep your beloved off its feet.

Love can turn your copper into gold,
Love can multiply your gold a thousand fold.

Love can turn your vinegar into wine,
Love can make a devil into divine.

Love can cure your incurable pain,
Love can make the sunny skies rain.

Love can make a plowshare out of your sword,
Love can make you happy when you're bored.

Love can create happiness from your blues,
Love can intoxicate you without booze.

Love can make poison be your cure,
Love can make your polluted waters pure.

Love can make a serpent's venom a salve
Love can render a have-not into have.

Love can squeeze oil out of your stone,
Love can vaporize chill from your bone.

Love can turn your vice into virtue,
Love can make all your dreams come true.

These states can only be reached through enlightenment and belief in alternative approaches
other than we were taught: this is my own verse, a warning on abusive and excessive or wasteful lifestyle.

Knowledge empowers you to perceive what you see,
So that you won't go on a binge and spree,
You are slave if you cannot harness your desires,
Even if you were born in the Land of the Free.

On importance of oneness and universal thinking versus individualism in our global village.
My own English translation of a verse from Omar Khayyam.

An unhappy raindrop said Look at Me,
I'm not even the size of a pea.
As it dropped into the sea it said,
Look everyone, I am the sea.

Another one from Omar that stresses persistence and hard work in achieving seemingly impossible goals.

Your success in life depends on how you fare,
In working hard and surviving a despair.
For unless the comb did not have a hundred teeth,
It could not penetrate a beloved's hair.

[donsaeid]

Love can make your bitter moments sweet,
Love can sweep your beloved off its feet.

Love can turn your copper into gold,
Love can multiply your gold a thousand fold.

Love can turn your vinegar into wine,
Love can make a devil into divine.

Love can cure your incurable pain,
Love can make the sunny skies rain.

Love can make a plowshare out of your sword,
Love can make you happy when you're bored.

Love can create happiness from your blues,
Love can intoxicate you without booze.

Love can make poison be your cure,
Love can make your polluted waters pure.

Love can make a serpent's venom a salve
Love can render a have-not into have.

Love can squeeze oil out of your stone,
Love can vaporize chill from your bone.

Love can turn your vice into virtue,
Love can make all your dreams come true.


I totally agree with that!

[RedWine]

Love is a feeling. Love is an attitude. Love is an action. Love is a choice.

Steps
Enlarge your understanding. Your definition of love may be too narrow. Love is more than a good feeling or romance.

You may say, "I love ice cream. I am in love with my companion. I love my family enough to labor every day to provide for them. I am compassionate toward hurting people, so I do my part to alleviate suffering and injustice in the world. I experience divine love and grace as I worship God."

You do not need to agree with someone to act with consideration. You do not need to be attracted to someone to demonstrate a loving attitude.
Adjust the angle of your perspective. “It ain’t about you." Love motivates people to sacrifice for others, not expecting any personal benefit. Stop thinking selfishly. Look for the needs of others, and then do your part to meet their needs.
Locate the source of love. You may love something because it is a source of pleasure. You may feel devotion to someone because you enjoy his or her company. Sympathy and compassion are foundations of love toward those living in difficult circumstances. Empathy is a starting place for love, as you identify the value of other citizens of this planet. Love may start as an expression of personal gratitude for the blessings you have received and your desire to share those blessings. Faith and spiritual devotion are powerful sources of selfless love.
Express your love. Find words and actions of love that are appropriate. Learn to speak words of blessing rather than criticism. Share your resources with a needy person. Participate in your community of faith. Offer gifts and perform thoughtful deeds with no ulterior motivation.
Accept disappointment. Not everyone will return your love. This is not failure. It is not your goal to make the world love you, but for you to love the world.



Tips
When you love unselfishly, you will experience a deeper and more spiritual feeling of gratification.

[Khorsheed]

Love love. . .all this talk of lvoe. .. is making me dizzy !

[Parinaz_M]

what love can do to a person's life can either be amazing or hurtfull

[RedWine]

what love can do to a person's life can either be amazing or hurtfull

Well said Milady :=) .

[RedWine]

Very nice article, read it :

http://www.g-gej.org/1-2/enamourment.html

[RedWine]

Many of us think of ourselves as being emotionally complex, intellectual individuals. But when two lovers are drawn together, animal instinct usually deserves the credit. Love can be like getting rocketed into space. The trick is staying up there.

In the beginning, we often describe our feelings in physical terms: “He’s drop-dead gorgeous.” “She smells like candy.” “His kiss is sweet like honey.” “Her skin is so soft.” Your heart races, palms get sweaty, and a swarm of butterflies flutter in your stomach.

After initial physical attraction comes an emotional connection. Now you are in la-la land. You enjoy the breeze all around you. Romance is in the air. Can you smell the flowers?

This is when you may actually make it a point to look good, try different things, and go to new places. Life is an adventure, and you feel stronger than ever. Now passion and intimacy have taken over. You are not only extremely attracted to one another, but you feel a deep connection. You begin to open up, sharing your values, feelings and dreams with each other. You are floating. Life seems to be in order.

Your lover has become a big part of your life, and you stop wanting to see other people. You are head over heels, ready to pledge devoted love. The two of you enter a committed relationship.

Just because you see each other every day doesn’t mean you have to stop trying to make a good impression. Sadly, couples too often cease making much of an effort with each other. They stop taking time to talk and listen. They stop taking care of their physical appearances. They begin to take each other for granted. Intimacy dwindles and arguments constantly ignite. These are the consequences of familiarity and boredom taking the place of excitement.