nothing is worse than..

[huebg]

no pain, aside from someone's death, is worse than losing a friend. im not talking boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife. i'm talking a good friend, someone really close to you that you feel comfortable and happy and alive with them. and when, for whatever reason, it's gone, it hurts. i've never felt this kind of pain.

it all becomes worse when neither side was responsible, but when it was an outside force that split such a successful and happy friendship. why? i keep asking....

whoever reads this, whenever it is, call, email, page, fax, something one of your friends and tell them how much they mean to you. you never know when it can all disappear.

im kind of lost right now so if my post doesn't make any sense, please forgive me. but PLEASE whatever you do cherish your friendships and make every moment you spend with that person worth it. give every second a place in your heart.

zendegi chegaane baraye aadam naghshe mikeshe....

[jewellry]

yea sucks

but seriously, mate. there are lots of other friends. if they don't want to be ur friend then that is their loss.

[huebg]

it had to do with me being a male and her being a female and her family not being ok with that, for whatever reason. mage maa kari mikardim? doost boodim. it's not a simple bye, it's having a tight and close and supportive and wonderful friendship torn apart by something outside. thats the worst thing, because it's over, you know there's no way around it. no apologies will fix anything, you can't talk about it. one second it's there, the next you're told through someone else that it's been taken from you forever.

it's so ridiculous when i think about it. they didn't speak up until we were so close as friends? was this a test? was it a game? did they just want to see what would happen? it's almost too harsh to believe....

[golgol85]

well, it depends on what you want to do about it. Is there anything you can do? is there no way you two can be friends? I am sure her parents were afraid of you two getting into some kind of relationship, but if they have issues with friendship, they are some backwards thinking parents.

[maloosak]

man dokhtar ba dokhtar in moshkel pish oomad vasam, taghsire hichkodomemoon nanood faghat alaki alaki fasele oftad beynemoon o hey bishtar shod kheily bade, i miss her a lot, im sure she does too, uhhhhhhh we were like close sisters

[huebg]

i know, it's terrible. golgol there's nothing i can do. my maman warned me about really religious people and i obviously didnt pay attention to it enough. we were never more than friends, but we were good friends. and they dont like this.

maloosak jaan, the thing is that at least you can restart something, at least there's a chance. for me it's over completely.

i found out through one of her friends, online. how cruel is that? no bye, no talk, no nothing, just one day her parents just say "ok, let's not allow it anymore" and that's that. truly mean, not only to me but to their daughter. a perfectly symbiotic and supportive and wonderful friendship split for no other reason than the parents' whim.

i still can't believe it. why now? why'd they let it go so far and have us be so close knowing full well that they were against it? mage maraz daran? i can see no reason....

[golgol85]

mishe beporsam where do you live? I am curious because if its in iran, i can see this type of thinking, but if you and her both live out of iran and again dont have backwards thinking parents, then it shouldnt be a problem. you cant help who you become friends with, and it should make no difference if the person is a girl or a guy. I am really sorry to hear that they would let religious thoughts get in the way. even if they are religious, then i dont think any religion would be okay with breaking someones heart.

[mahsaak]

dear, huebg, this the life, u can do any thing, every thing has start at any point and also another poit for ending, we cant do any thing for, just keep ourself up,try to dont let the accidents and likes ever end, u have to image avery thing like a chocolate, that u love it ,but some thay will end, then u have to buy another one,
i dont mean that be stone heart, no dont missundrestand,
this is what i get from worth part of my life, whern i loosed my best friend,
when i loosed my fiancee, when we all separate from the country which we loved .& etc
all of this would be happen through ur life too, thats the nature of life. which teach u , how to be strong, how to face biger problems,
u have to be strong anough to pass in all of ur examination of life truely .never let it bring u down,
some time this kind of problem hurts that much thta for one week u are at the middle of shock. but what u can do,???? nothing ur life and the every second of ur life is passing, u cant stop living1!do u???
so stand up. and fight for gaining every good couses, to show nothing can stop u to be happy, no mater what,

if u realy whant ur frind ship bach u have to fight withe any obstacles , just like when u need a beautiful car uare trying ur best to make it urs,
so stand up. try to be strong more then ever,
ur life is too short, maybe if u sattle down never ever gain ur chance again

hury up maybe tomarrow would be late
be donya bekhand ta behet bekhande
inghade bekhand ke khajalat bekeshe az inke say kone toro narahat kone

[huebg]

golgol i'm in the US, she's in the US.

mahsaak vaghe'an mamnoon baraye komaketoon. i know that everything has a beginning and end, i just never imagined such things applied to friendships that were going along so well. haminjoori be khodam migam hatman kheyre, hatman ye chizi toosh hast, vali az oon taraf ham migam ke shayad bayad baraye oon chizi ke doost dari o vaghe'an haghete (doostiye maa dota vaghe'an ham haghe mane va ham haghe oo) bejangi.

i won't stop living, thanks, it just really hurts me and just thinking about it makes my heart and head throb and i feel my throat closing. like how? why? aslan chera?

but when you say stand up, fight any obstacles, do you think then that i should fight against this? masalan begam ke ok ghabool mikonam ke dige nemitoonim baa ham rahat doost bashim ya ham digaro bebinim ya ba ham telefoni harf bezanim, vali masalan emiali harf bezanim? i dont know, im just so confused right now. its so unfair....

[gg666]

huebg jan...bache ha hame dorost migan..ama bedoon ke inam ghemati az doostitoone va bayad bashe...beghole mahsaak har chiz avalo akhar dare...ama chizi ke akhar nadare ehsase to va oone ke age oono zende negah darin(hata age ye tarafe bashe)...doost dashtane vaghei in nist ke hamash khoshi bebini...in dore ha ro ham dare.. va kheili ha mese mano shoma va baghie tajrobash kardan...ama hamin chizast ke toro ghavi mikone va ehsaseto ghavitar mikone...gofti hamash migi, why and how and how come...nemigam be in chiza fekr nakon chon hame ina doostitoono dore mikone va az hamin chiza kheili chizaye dige roshan mishe...ama ziade ravi ham nakon...va behtarin kari ke alan mitooni bokoni ine ke age narahat mishi hatman khodeto beriz biroon..nazar feshar root biad ke baadan khodesho brooz bede... va say kon khodeto relax koni

[jewellry]

so you are asking her to sacrifice her family relationship in order to be friends with you?

that is not fair, because family will be with her forever. i'm sure she is not happy either, but that is the way life is.

what does it have to do with religion? don't make that an issue. u kno, some parents are just traditional in their thinking. just because this society allows for any kind of relationship doesn't mean it is good or more right. traditions take a long time to change.

[bluesky_152000]

huebeg, sounds like u want to recover the relationships or something like bringing her back to ur sphere where u two can hav a fellowship with each other as friends. i hav experineced the same thing as u also. im a girl and i got lots of male friends which my parents used to opposed also. till now we are still friends coz we are not doing anything bad to the community, to the family, to others, to each other..... my parents told me to make a little distance from them coz they are in a different gender. u know... its not about our/my religion but the culture we used to grow up with. i think ur friend shud know to deal with her parents the way they can understand both sides. parents are still parents though it doesnt they are always right.. (but believe me parents insist to us what they want us to do, or else, FIGHT!)

[huebg]

gg666 midoonam, rast migid. bayad ino estefaade konam ke ghavitar besham. vali hey fekresho mikonam, doostame, fazifam nist ke ye joori in masale ro hal bokonam? akhe chera aslan in masale yehoyi peyda shod? chera? say nakonam ye joori dorostesh konam? akhe DOOSTAME.

vali chashm, say mikonam relax konam


jewellry jaan aslan, im not asking for that in the least, im not asking her to choose. that'd be very selfish and unfair to her. but what i'm saying is that her parents are also being very unfair to us both, and although i can understand some aghabneshini in terms of communication with each other, i dont understand a complete break like this. why now? why after so much time? it makes no sense.


bluesky your story makes me more comfortable, thanks. it's hard you know? you have a friend that you talk to, that you interact with every day and then you blink and you're told that you can no longer do that, and no reason except "that's what someone else wants for her".
bluesky may i ask you what you told your parents to get them to understand that a simple friendship is not dangerous, that it's ok and how you were able to continue your friendship despite your parents' worries?



as to the religion idea, i didnt mean to bash religion. im pretty religious myself, but i think that there's something wrong when you reach a stage where you don't allow someone to even talk by EMAIL to someone of the opposite gender, someone they know and see and talk to commonly. i understand it's not in our culture for boys and girls to be friends, but take into account that (1) we're all in a different culture now and whether they like it or not their daughter will be interacting with males every day and (2) if they didn't like it they could have ended it wayyyyy long ago before our friendship solidified. what made them allow it to continue this long so that a break would be so hurtful to all parties involved is beyond my comprehension.


but thank you very much to everyone for your kind words and support

[bluesky_152000]

well, actually i told them nothin, but instead i showd them that they can trust me though they dont actually see me.... and one thing im sure many people dont do with their parents..... i told them my secrets! that's the thing i know they can know me very well coz it always happens that our friends know more about our secrets than our parents do. be close to them so u can make ur friends get closer to them too... what do u think?

[huebg]

i know what you mean, and that's a cool concept of telling parents secrets. in fact in the beginning it was me who urged her to tell her parents, just because i felt like it would be better if they knew what was going on and just like it'd allow them to trust her more and allow our friendship to exist (as opposed to not telling, hiding, then them finding out one day and thinking we were doing something bad because we didnt tell them and ending it). i thought that if we both laid our entire relationship out for our parents to see, if we were unconditionally honest, they'd be more likely to accept it because they knew what we knew, they were in the "jaryan" too. little did i know......