Getting what you deserve

[Rasputin]

There's still so much more that needs to be said but I'm done thinking & talking and BEING with Iranian guys, til I find one that can truly be called a MAN


I'm not going to hurt your head with complicated words & long paragraphs (not TOO long anyway).The only reason I decided to write this artice was to get this off my chest... & offend some Iranian guys.

I know there's a lot of articles on Iranian guys and how much they suck. But that's only because they always piss us Persian girls (and everyone else I think) off and do the most stupid things.

After spending 10 years outside of Iran, I have dated guys from other countries and even though you can find some real dumbasses & idiots & lowlives in them, I've never seen any that are worse than our own pretty (hairy) Persian guys. I hate to diss people from my own land but it's really getting to me and I need my voice to be HEARD... or at least my article to be read.

This summer when I went back to Iran for about 2 months. I understood that Persian guys inside of Iran are really the same as the guys outside Iran. They're extreme SHOW-OFFS (even though they make the biggest idiots out of themlseves most of the time), IRRESPONSIBLE, impatient, EXTREMELY jealous, RUDE, and THE BIGGEST MOMMA'S BOYS (even worse then Italian guys). And I don't care what anyone says "they're not all like that, you can find good ones in them too", yeah BUT VERY RARELY, most of them are the same -- and I'm not exaggerating.

I'm not just writing all this because I'm extremely mad at one. I'm writing this because it's true and I have experienced it WAY more then just once.

They like to think of themselves as "PLAYAZ" even though they are almost always the ones that get dumped first. They act, walk, talk like black guys & then get mad at us for dating them, "ye mosht laat".

They love to think they're the "ladies man" out of their group of friends & then get furiously mad when I date his Spanish friend & not him (HAHA).

They LOVE to say chert-o-pert things like "toro az jooneh khodam bishtar doost daram" and "mikhaam baraat bemiram, to faghat begoo bemir baraam reza, man mimiram" (excuse me while I kill myself), just to get you into bed of course. But then if you say no to them, they go & find some easy dumbass Canadian/American/Swedish/Russian blonde chick -- SHE HAS TO BE BLONDE for revenge -- & sleep with her just to get back at you... yeah, like it really pisses us off to know that you just slept with the easiest, sluttiest girl in town... no we just feel really sorry for you, and that poor girl of course.

They borrow their poor hard-working dad's car (and crash it because of their CRAP driving & showing-off) & eat all his money, they sit on their lazy asses while swearing & yelling at their mother after she's done everything she possibly can for him, and still complain! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? GROW THE FU** UP!

After dumping him because of his crap attitude & lazy ways, Reza told me that "the only reason you dumped me is because I don't have a car & I don't have much money but that's not a surprise because Persian girls are all materialistic and shallow like that", that wasn't the main reason (I told you what was) but I must admit, it was PART of the reason.

I'm 18 years old & would like my boyfriend (who was 20) to have a car (even if its crap), have some money, or at least A JOB!? Is that a bad thing to ask? In this world today, those things are necessary & most girls want their boyfriends to have those things, be a man & DEAL WITH IT! Stop making lame excuses, living off your mom & dad, getting drunk every other night, sleeping with every girl in town & get A FREAKIN' JOB!

In my experience, loser (or most) Persian guys can be classed into two types:

The Pretending Loser
This type of Irani guy is a real loser. He has nothing. Not a car, no money, no job, no personality, but he still thinks he is the best & walks around reaaalllllll proud of himself, looking for his next prey to trick into bed for the night. He walks like a gangsta & talks like a gangsta (or at least tries to) and while all his friends are getting into university (or finishing university), getting jobs, buying houses & cars, he is still boasting about the number of chicks he's had in the last week. He's a loser in denial.

The Confessing Loser
This type of Irani guy is ALSO a real big loser, the only difference is, he admits it about a million times a day. "Leily mano bebakhsh, midunam liaaghateh toro nadaaram va to az man kheily baalaatar hasti, I know I'm a loser & I have nothing & you could be getting way better guys than me, better in every way, I know I'm a loser & don't deserve you, but I really love you, I want to kill myself for you, just say when, just say it & I will do it... BLAH BLAH BLAH..." Shit like that. But he never really does anything about it. He says he doesn't have a job but does he go looking for one?!NO! SO WHAT'S THE POINT, just shut up about it and get out of my life til you're ready to come back in!

UGH.

There's still so much more that needs to be said but I'm done thinking & talking and BEING with Iranian guys, til I find one that can truly be called a MAN.

For all those Persian guys who are very hard working & educated and well-mannered & know they are the exact opposite of what I have just described, my apologies, and never let any of your "playa" friends change you because we have too many "playas" out there & none of them are worth a thing, it is the nice guys that every women will look for in the end, because they are the true definition of MEN.


Thx To Leily.

[golgol85]

I actually think that persian guys have more respect for non persian girls. I have seen many persian guys who could not hold a persian girlfriend become very committed when dealing with a non persian girl. the reasons could be anything from the guys not finding the persian girl interesting because of her similar cultural background to assuming that just because she is persian she fits all the common stereotypes. whatever the reason, more persian guys are attracted to non persian girls. I personally have to say i find persian men very attractive, but I still to this day have not had the guts to have a persian boyfriend (or a boyfriend in general for that matter).

i find that since we persian girls sterotype persian guys, they do the same for us. we say all (or practically all) persian men are players, all are irresponsible, all are rude, all are momma's boys, and all are impatient, but the reality is people tend to live up to stereotypes, so if we say they are impatient, they will be so and many wont do much to change themselves. so what can we do? instead of constanly looking at what persian guys lack, how about we look at the things they are good at. most have good work ethic and appreciate the finer things in life (yes that does mean they show off, but i havent seen a persian girl who dislikes a persian guy who buys her expensive gifts or drives an expensive car in which she gets to ride and brag to all her friends about). when it comes to being educated, most are very intelligent and attain respectable jobs. when it comes to being outgoing and having a sense of adventure, most are up for meeting new people any kind of fun (sometimes even a little bit over the limit). persian guys are athletic (sometimes they pretend they are kobe or shaq, hehe) and they value their family (yes, that does mean they do keep in touch with their mom even after you are married to them, but that means that he respects the women that gave life to him and hopefully he will respect you as his wife as well).

persian guys, like all other guys, do enjoy sex. the reason we get mad at them when they leave when we dont put out it because we realize that most of them are only looking for easy sex. before marriage, most guys want to have unattached sex where they dont have to worry about the girl the next day. in persian culture, we girls are way to emotional to participate in unattached sex (sex just for the sake of sex with no strings attached). because we cant give them this, persian guys go to girls from backgrounds where sex outside of marriage is not seen as bad, what is called easy sex. now keep in mind that these same guys, when it comes time for marriage want (i said want, not prefer) to have a girl who hasnt been around the block. we dont like to see our persian guys out there with non persian girls because we feel we have a god given right to have them first before the non persian girls. we feel we understand where they are coming from culturally and therefore we are better suited for them. whether this is true or not i dont know, but i have seen many persian girls get upset that a persian guy is dating a non persian girl.

fear not Leily joon, the good ones do exist out there, you just have to look really hard (they are the diamonds in the rough).

[Rasputin]

Golgol jan,thx for your reply.like always ,i got new and good opinions by you :=) .

[golgol85]

you are most certainly welcome. thank you for reading my opinions.

[Rasputin]

you are most certainly welcome. thank you for reading my opinions.

i am not agree all the time with your opinions but i like to read them :=).

[golgol85]

i am not agree all the time with your opinions but i like to read them :=).

who said thanks for "agreeing" with my opinions? i just said thanks for reading them and now i say thanks for liking to read them.

[Rasputin]

First of all, let me clarify something: when I call someone a "loser", I mean a man (or a woman) who has missed a great opportunity and may lose it again based on a specific attitude. I try to stay away from that harsh North American meaning of "loser" which means a loner who has not been and will never be real happy. Someone who is not able to love or being loved deeply, etc.! Well, precisely, when a guy I am interested in doesn't try to get to know me and enjoy a relationship with me, of course is a total loser, since I am great! (Got the humor?).

I may have missed some opportunities myself. Especially growing up in Iran, I definitely missed a couple of beautiful intimacies I could have had at the best time of my life. Not because of the religious government, as it was quite possible to manage that! But through my mind set and a mixture of guilt and pride issues! Yes, I could have had a good time and nice memories, but no big harm done, I've made up for them already ("honesty" will kill me one day!)!

Guys, however, had a different approach, one, who I believe is very similar to "my story guy" (perhaps mid-age, short and balding as well, and still cute J!) tried to insult me and called me a taxi with no license who a "MAN", perhaps like him(define the man here!) gets free ride and when he finds his "train" (I think he is talking about a young, beautiful girl who is going to marry him and live happily ever after, and bear his children and has a body for sin and a head for science/business and walks naked at home, and never say no to whatever he says or want...), he will be paying for the train ticket and will be committed and treat her well. Sorry Mister, but that train may leave with other passengers! (I am not angry, just realistic handsome!)

Other guys suggested that life's too short: I have to jump on him or dump him. (Nasty, smiley face here with no comment!)

I actually read the book and it was like a mirror to see myself in it and laugh! An educated, successful, and beautiful woman who is ridiculously falling for a "loser" and suffering -- for what? He is not calling her, or treating her well? What the heck? I stepped back and saw myself as a third person and it was such an amazing view.

Still, I am just a simple woman who loves to be treated nice and be pampered from time to time. But for God's sake, as a woman, grown up in that environment, I've come a long way and should have learned one or two things during my journey! Finding excuses for the guy -- thinking that he may have been abused, or hurt badly before, or he may be shy -- is what all women ordinarily do. They even feel sorry for him in case he has some physical issues (you know what I mean). But these are all lame excuses. The same loser, when he sees a sluty girl who doesn't really respect him, and treats him like dirt, changes his attitude! Suddenly Mr. Afsordeh behaves like "Assdollah Mirza"! Boy, it IS funny, isn't it?

I know now, that no excuses are acceptable and that he is just not that into me! He will get what he deserves: a girl, a family a lonely life or a cyberspace relationship. I don't care! The most important lesson for me was that if it's not supposed to happen and serendipity doesn't help. I have to move on with no hard feelings! It's just not meant to be, right? Wrong! I am just paying for my same attitude (what goes around, comes around! Remember?).

I have only one question: In a nutshell, the book says, if the guy is NOT "killing" himself for a woman, let him go and move on to the next one! In each situation, using examples, it's trying to turn a grey area to a black and white. All in all it asks women to move on (I think the writers are paid by guys who want to get rid of their nagging women!). If as a woman you are waiting for his call and he doesn't call, he is not that into you. Forget about him. If he doesn't try to find you and make extra efforts to catch you, don't make excuses for him: he is just not that into you. Don't keep your hopes up and just move on to the next one.

Question: Is it really that simple? It it worth making an effort to build a relationship, or do you think that in the era of globalization there is no time to waste? Is it worth the heartache? I have no answer.

I know it didn't work for me. And I am not talking about a guy I liked, I am talking about the guys who liked me! I even tried hard to be nice and force myself to choose one and go further, but it didn't work.

On the other hand, I talked about the book with a couple of guy friends (younger, in their twenties) and they mentioned that they are shy and/or not confident enough to approach girls after the first or second time. They hoped that the girls they dated don' know about the book!

It sounds like there is no right answer. Here is what I do: Just go with the flow and laugh at myself if I can! That's what I learned to do and hey, life can be funny!