Are You Dateable?

[Rasputin]

So often when there is something we decide we want, we spend all of our focus and energy on the flow of getting it. Unfortunately, what we don't realize is that with an attentive eye focused on ourselves we will find the answer to our quest. If you've ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is you are offering. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your dateability.

Are you happy?

People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you're not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it! Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for.

Do you say "my ex" more than 5 times a day?

What's done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, don't give off signs that you're still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Don't let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.

Are you financially stable?

While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you're not in a comfortable financial place now, make a change. Do some research on getting out of debt, or ways to increase your monetary flow. You'll feel happier, and be a better catch, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.

Do you have future goals, dreams or desires?

A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector's piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.

What are you doing for you?

If you aren't engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests you may be giving signals that you will be overly dependent on a potential partner. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a relationship, which at times can feel like a thing of the past.

Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)?

The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven't already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out how you contributed to their demise.

Do you know what you want in a new partner?

If you haven't taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.

More questions to consider...

Do you feel you may be too insecure?

Are you focusing on the past more than you are focusing on the here and now or the future?

Do you feel you may be overly critical or negative towards other people or life?

Would you date you?

[Rasputin]

Why Are You Single?

So here you are spending another Sunday morning alone instead of cozying up sharing breakfast in bed with your special someone. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why? I'm not referring to the rhetorical questions you throw out in the midst of singlehood despair. If you dig a little deeper you might just find a way to break through and realize your dreams of happily ever after.

Below are few of the most common scenarios of why people haven't found love. If any strike a chord follow the advice given. If not, take some time for honest self-discovery and find out what's blocking you.

1. Too busy to even think about love.

With all of life's demands these days, taking time to find a partner can seem incredulous. Instead, learn to play smart. Make a list of traits you'd like a potential partner to have. Create a list of things you offer and can bring to a relationship. Then, figure out a few places where you'd find the most people with the similar traits you listed. For instance, a golf club, a running group, etc. In addition to this, try an online dating service such as Kiss.com. Just use the information you already created to make your profile!

2. Too scared of heartbreak.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes we end up failing before we even get our foot in the door. This is most likely to happen when we dwell on what could happen instead of allowing things to just occur naturally. Don't fixate on the negative otherwise it will be sure to happen. Relax, trust yourself and know that no matter what you go through it will always be something you can handle.

3. No one has met my criteria yet.

Making a list of traits you wish your potential partner to have is something I continually advise. But, like many things there can be a downfall to it. If your list is filled with too many specific traits, such as they must make X amount of dollars a year or they must be from a certain city, you're going to find it difficult to meet anyone. Don't get too carried away, and allow yourself to be open to new experiences. There is something to be said about the old truth of opposites attracting.

4. I couldn't miss the Friday Night TV Movie Special!!

How often do you actually get out to try and meet new people? You're not going to get anywhere if you're sitting at home avoiding the inevitable. If confidence is a factor, do something for yourself. Start a new workout program, get a new hairstyle, or buy a few new clothes. Take some time out to improve yourself. Not only will it make you feel better about yourself, but you'll find yourself more attractive to other people just because of your attitude shift.

5. I'm still in love with my ex.

How can you create a future with someone if you're too busy looking at the past? There are three outlooks to anything - the past, the present and the future. Anytime you overly focus on one outlook the others start to dwindle away. Each day spent avoiding the others is a day wasted. Do whatever it is you need to do to get over it, and move on. Life is full of surprises, twists and turns. It is not an easy, straight path. Let go of your past so you can see what is in store for you just around the corner.