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How to Waste Time
Time is the only thing we can measure, save, sell & buy, but cannot see it, touch it, hear it, or ever have enough of it. For this reason, wasting time (or killing time) is something reserved for when you have already completed everything you've set out to do.
Steps
Look around you: There is almost always something to do, whether it be - cleaning your room/house or walking the dog, both of which will waste time because the room/house will just get dirty again and the next time the dog eats, it will want to go on another walk to take another crap, so this can be something you can do to repeatedly waste time, every day.
Are you hungry? You can always waste some time by preparing a meal. Going out to eat is a time-saver, so if you make your own food, you're wasting all kinds of time, but saving money. If money is tight, you will want to waste as much time as possible by preparing your own meals at home, right? And if you want to eat something and do not have the stuff to make it, walk to the store to get it - a sure-fire way of wasting a lot of time is walking somewhere. Most of us have cars, which will save time. Sell your car or bike; It will help you save money and waste time!
At work? Stare.... at anything... People will see you staring at something and think that you are pondering something intense... they will see that as working, instead of wasting time... alternate staring and typing or shuffling papers to convince anyone around you that you are not wasting time.
Sharpen your pencils slowly - this is a nice time waster. Have a few hours to waste? Schedule a conference room for yourself or maybe a few friends. Try to get one without windows facing coworkers or hallways. Make sure you bring notebooks, clipboards and pens to make it appear an authentic "meeting". Plan your "meeting" with vague terms and pepper conversation with meaningless office talk--"Fill the bus", "think outside the box" and "work smarter, not harder". These cliches will assure any within eavesdropping distance that you are dedicated, hardworking employees who keep the company's best interest at heart.
At Home? Try defragmenting your computer. This takes ages. Scanning for errors and backing up your files is also good for wasting time. Try watching a crappy movie. The hours will simply fly by as you sleep through the film.
Tips
Idle hands are the devil's puppets. Move around and look busy!
If someone asks you what you are doing, respond with 'I was just thinking about how our global economy has been in decline for the last decade, and how greenhouse gasses are destroying the ozone layer' -- nobody will bother you and will let you continue to waste time by looking off into space...they will think you are formulating a way to stop those pesky greenhouse gasses and will let you to your scientific and political ponderings.
Warnings
Wasting too much time will prevent you from doing cool things. Do the cool things first, and waste time later.
Steps
Look around you: There is almost always something to do, whether it be - cleaning your room/house or walking the dog, both of which will waste time because the room/house will just get dirty again and the next time the dog eats, it will want to go on another walk to take another crap, so this can be something you can do to repeatedly waste time, every day.
Are you hungry? You can always waste some time by preparing a meal. Going out to eat is a time-saver, so if you make your own food, you're wasting all kinds of time, but saving money. If money is tight, you will want to waste as much time as possible by preparing your own meals at home, right? And if you want to eat something and do not have the stuff to make it, walk to the store to get it - a sure-fire way of wasting a lot of time is walking somewhere. Most of us have cars, which will save time. Sell your car or bike; It will help you save money and waste time!
At work? Stare.... at anything... People will see you staring at something and think that you are pondering something intense... they will see that as working, instead of wasting time... alternate staring and typing or shuffling papers to convince anyone around you that you are not wasting time.
Sharpen your pencils slowly - this is a nice time waster. Have a few hours to waste? Schedule a conference room for yourself or maybe a few friends. Try to get one without windows facing coworkers or hallways. Make sure you bring notebooks, clipboards and pens to make it appear an authentic "meeting". Plan your "meeting" with vague terms and pepper conversation with meaningless office talk--"Fill the bus", "think outside the box" and "work smarter, not harder". These cliches will assure any within eavesdropping distance that you are dedicated, hardworking employees who keep the company's best interest at heart.
At Home? Try defragmenting your computer. This takes ages. Scanning for errors and backing up your files is also good for wasting time. Try watching a crappy movie. The hours will simply fly by as you sleep through the film.
Tips
Idle hands are the devil's puppets. Move around and look busy!
If someone asks you what you are doing, respond with 'I was just thinking about how our global economy has been in decline for the last decade, and how greenhouse gasses are destroying the ozone layer' -- nobody will bother you and will let you continue to waste time by looking off into space...they will think you are formulating a way to stop those pesky greenhouse gasses and will let you to your scientific and political ponderings.
Warnings
Wasting too much time will prevent you from doing cool things. Do the cool things first, and waste time later.
!?
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