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# If you are a car salesman and# at the same time
# a singer.
# If you talk behind your wife with your mother.
# If you dress up to go to grocery store.
# If you go to a concert but never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink checking out girls.
# If you never wear your wedding ring.
# If you smoke five packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.
# If you pronounce "Sure": SHOOR
# If your favorite drink is Vodka.
# If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
# If you watch Iranian programs on TV, but always nag about them.
# If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
# If you call a gas station: gas es
# steshen.
# If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house.
# If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.
# If your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.
# If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy.
# If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone but nobody ever calls you.
# If you claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH.
# If you don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW.
# If you have to shave more than once a day.
# If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington,D.C.
# If your in
# laws come to visit but never leave.
# When they ask "where are you from?" you reply...Italy!!..yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hand.
# Have rice with yogurt using a spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg.
# Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...water in a milk bottle will do just as good.
# Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice...just in case!
# Believe no one else can make Kabaab better than us.
# Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends.
# Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug.
# Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house.
# Complain about everybody's accent, but yours.