The Right To Beauty
Meeting Shaki ra is like meeting the sister you never had. She’ll welcome and hug you before you sit down in her beauty chair for a cut or color. Her eyes sparkle as they rest on yours during a conversation, and her thoughts are suspended somewhere as she manufactures a deep wisdom suited for the topic of conversation. When clients hear that she is a grandmother, they are shocked – she is so youthful and energetic and is always wearing the latest fashions, complete with appropriate, dazzling jewelry.
I’ve spent a lot of time as her client, and when she allowed me to interview her, I was eager to explore the source of her Buddha-like logic. She shared her story with me at a café, and helped me through a bit of disillusionment about Afghanistan and life. In the end, it was a powerful beauty lesson – suggestions for staying positive, open, young, no matter what.
Indeed, Sha***a is far more endowed with wisdom than I originally suspected. And it is a sense that she earned through incredible struggle and perseverance.
In the late 70s, early 80s, she was a college graduate teaching Persian and art to fourth and sixth graders. She enrolled in medical school but didn’t get far before regional warfare overcame her extraordinary will power.
Because of Afghanistan’s role in the US’s cold war with Russia, Sha***a lost much more than just her sense of security.* In December of 1982, she left school, and as a single mother with four children in tow, she fled as a refugee, first to India and then to the United States.
“At the time when I left Afghanistan, there were a lot of schools. There were well-educated people. Nobody had a problem going to school and people had open minds,” she said. “Nobody covered their face. Even my mom, I never saw my mom cover her face. I never saw anyone cover their face except on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, Turkmenistan. But not in Kabul, the capital.”
Most people have at least a vague idea about what happened after that – Afghanistan descended into post-war chaos due to the evacuation of intelligencia and a dearth of qualified people to fill positions of leadership. This chaos ensued for over a decade as warlords took over and thousands of people were lost to infighting. It was around this time when the Taliban began to take root.
“If I go back now, it’s a big shock,” she said. “To see people covering their faces; they’ve been abused so much, men and women, and they’re all sick – they are emotionally sick and physically sick. People didn’t go to school for 25 years you know. They are not educated; they were living in a basement and not allowed to go out. It’s like a jail – a woman in jail for 25 years … the whole country in jail for 25 years … plus the bombing and all of these things happening to them …”
But over this time of extreme suppression, the women developed ways to stay sane and maintain a sense of identity.
“… still the people, they went down into the basement and they opened a salon and they were performing beauty rituals – isn’t it amazing?” she explained. “I used to have a video of a salon that was in the basement,” she explained. “People were going there [secretly] to do their hair and facial and makeup and everything, because you can’t stop it. You can’t stop the fashion. Even if you put a curtain over your face, you can’t do anything to stop it. Women always want the beauty.”
Women around the world, through the ages, have experienced this impulse – to confide in their adornments when strife and war replace all routine and security. From the Chinese ten years war, for example, there is a famous story of a woman pulling a trunk of her favorite clothes everywhere she went – up a hillside, into a foxhole, etc. – risking her life for the only things that brought her joy in the middle of the ruthless Cultural Revolution: clothes, beautiful clothes. The focus on beauty as a struggle to stay balanced resonates through space and time.
Sha***a clings to the beauty and community of the Afghanistan that once was. It is part of her identity and and she’s organizes her ambitions to recreate it here in the US.
“I miss all of the colors, the beauty of the clothing, the fashion, the street, the country, the nature, everything is natural,” she said. “The food; we have beautiful food.”
MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 10px Verdana; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'>Soon after her arrival in the United States, Sha***a enrolled in college and, without formal English training, she obtained a degree in hotel and restaurant management. After working on ice sculptures, delicatessen trays and elaborate flower arrangements at the Hilton, Sha***a transitioned into the beauty industry. She almost immediately made a name for herself in shows at venues like Bloomingdales and started her own salon in Manhattan. Her focus was, and still is, on the bride, and her work was most recently heralded in Manhattan Bride magazine.
“I am very lucky because the United States is the only country where everybody’s life is saved. Everybody comes here to live and enjoy the life. It’s very hard to start. But this is the life. You have to make it, and you always have to fight for the life.”
In this struggle to succeed in a new, competitive environment, Sha***a has become an esthetic authority to everyone who experiences her services. She holds this position firmly because it is one of her most basic impulses in life – to find, create and appreciate beauty.
“I never think too much about the life, always about the beauty,” she said. “I mean, everything is a piece of art, whatever you do, whatever you do it doesn’t matter if you cook, if you clean house, decorating your home, do the hair and face, it’s all a part of beauty and art.”
It is this radiant outlook that brings people back, again and again, to Sha***a’s beauty chair. When she works on your hair, you sense that she is almost in a trance as she combs the locks and pulls various tools out of her drawer to help them find their way. She may participate in the conversation with you, but her eyes never part with the strand at issue. She finds her center, her joy, in this practice, no matter what is happening in her life.
“If the life is coming bad to you, it’s not a bad life,” she said. “You can change this bad to good. If you don’t try it you never know. You have to try it. People get upset and sad. I never get upset. I always win and lose. You always win and lose.”
As she finished explaining this, her eyebrows raised and her mouth opened to show a row of perfectly white teeth as she produced a contagious laugh. We sat there at a café, laughing at the way life can toss us all around like boats at sea. The laughter injected this message: we are the captains of these boats, and we are responsible for their balance as well as their courses.
“I’ve been through a lot, but I never feel like I’m down, myself. I always want to look up no matter what,” Sha***a said. “It’s not easy to live in the US with four kids and start work and go to school and take care of four kids. But I did it and I’m very proud of myself because I did it in a nice way.”
*Shak ira would not discuss in depth her losses although I have heard several stories in passing. She asked that I not share the details, but they are great by most people’s standards.
I’ve spent a lot of time as her client, and when she allowed me to interview her, I was eager to explore the source of her Buddha-like logic. She shared her story with me at a café, and helped me through a bit of disillusionment about Afghanistan and life. In the end, it was a powerful beauty lesson – suggestions for staying positive, open, young, no matter what.
Indeed, Sha***a is far more endowed with wisdom than I originally suspected. And it is a sense that she earned through incredible struggle and perseverance.
In the late 70s, early 80s, she was a college graduate teaching Persian and art to fourth and sixth graders. She enrolled in medical school but didn’t get far before regional warfare overcame her extraordinary will power.
Because of Afghanistan’s role in the US’s cold war with Russia, Sha***a lost much more than just her sense of security.* In December of 1982, she left school, and as a single mother with four children in tow, she fled as a refugee, first to India and then to the United States.
“At the time when I left Afghanistan, there were a lot of schools. There were well-educated people. Nobody had a problem going to school and people had open minds,” she said. “Nobody covered their face. Even my mom, I never saw my mom cover her face. I never saw anyone cover their face except on the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan, Turkmenistan. But not in Kabul, the capital.”
Most people have at least a vague idea about what happened after that – Afghanistan descended into post-war chaos due to the evacuation of intelligencia and a dearth of qualified people to fill positions of leadership. This chaos ensued for over a decade as warlords took over and thousands of people were lost to infighting. It was around this time when the Taliban began to take root.
“If I go back now, it’s a big shock,” she said. “To see people covering their faces; they’ve been abused so much, men and women, and they’re all sick – they are emotionally sick and physically sick. People didn’t go to school for 25 years you know. They are not educated; they were living in a basement and not allowed to go out. It’s like a jail – a woman in jail for 25 years … the whole country in jail for 25 years … plus the bombing and all of these things happening to them …”
But over this time of extreme suppression, the women developed ways to stay sane and maintain a sense of identity.
“… still the people, they went down into the basement and they opened a salon and they were performing beauty rituals – isn’t it amazing?” she explained. “I used to have a video of a salon that was in the basement,” she explained. “People were going there [secretly] to do their hair and facial and makeup and everything, because you can’t stop it. You can’t stop the fashion. Even if you put a curtain over your face, you can’t do anything to stop it. Women always want the beauty.”
Women around the world, through the ages, have experienced this impulse – to confide in their adornments when strife and war replace all routine and security. From the Chinese ten years war, for example, there is a famous story of a woman pulling a trunk of her favorite clothes everywhere she went – up a hillside, into a foxhole, etc. – risking her life for the only things that brought her joy in the middle of the ruthless Cultural Revolution: clothes, beautiful clothes. The focus on beauty as a struggle to stay balanced resonates through space and time.
Sha***a clings to the beauty and community of the Afghanistan that once was. It is part of her identity and and she’s organizes her ambitions to recreate it here in the US.
“I miss all of the colors, the beauty of the clothing, the fashion, the street, the country, the nature, everything is natural,” she said. “The food; we have beautiful food.”
MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 10px Verdana; TEXT-ALIGN: justify'>Soon after her arrival in the United States, Sha***a enrolled in college and, without formal English training, she obtained a degree in hotel and restaurant management. After working on ice sculptures, delicatessen trays and elaborate flower arrangements at the Hilton, Sha***a transitioned into the beauty industry. She almost immediately made a name for herself in shows at venues like Bloomingdales and started her own salon in Manhattan. Her focus was, and still is, on the bride, and her work was most recently heralded in Manhattan Bride magazine.
“I am very lucky because the United States is the only country where everybody’s life is saved. Everybody comes here to live and enjoy the life. It’s very hard to start. But this is the life. You have to make it, and you always have to fight for the life.”
In this struggle to succeed in a new, competitive environment, Sha***a has become an esthetic authority to everyone who experiences her services. She holds this position firmly because it is one of her most basic impulses in life – to find, create and appreciate beauty.
“I never think too much about the life, always about the beauty,” she said. “I mean, everything is a piece of art, whatever you do, whatever you do it doesn’t matter if you cook, if you clean house, decorating your home, do the hair and face, it’s all a part of beauty and art.”
It is this radiant outlook that brings people back, again and again, to Sha***a’s beauty chair. When she works on your hair, you sense that she is almost in a trance as she combs the locks and pulls various tools out of her drawer to help them find their way. She may participate in the conversation with you, but her eyes never part with the strand at issue. She finds her center, her joy, in this practice, no matter what is happening in her life.
“If the life is coming bad to you, it’s not a bad life,” she said. “You can change this bad to good. If you don’t try it you never know. You have to try it. People get upset and sad. I never get upset. I always win and lose. You always win and lose.”
As she finished explaining this, her eyebrows raised and her mouth opened to show a row of perfectly white teeth as she produced a contagious laugh. We sat there at a café, laughing at the way life can toss us all around like boats at sea. The laughter injected this message: we are the captains of these boats, and we are responsible for their balance as well as their courses.
“I’ve been through a lot, but I never feel like I’m down, myself. I always want to look up no matter what,” Sha***a said. “It’s not easy to live in the US with four kids and start work and go to school and take care of four kids. But I did it and I’m very proud of myself because I did it in a nice way.”
*Shak ira would not discuss in depth her losses although I have heard several stories in passing. She asked that I not share the details, but they are great by most people’s standards.