**Daily Meditation**

[Parinaz_M]

Honesty

Today I see that I can’t release something just because someone tells me that it is the right or nice thing to do. Until I have moved through an internal process of identifying and communication honestly what is going on with me, I can’t really let it go. Honesty means that I am willing to be responsible. Whatever negative characteristics may have become a part of me from living in a dysfunctional home are, unfortunately, mine to deal with now. Projecting and blaming will not get me closer to getting rid of them. If I do not own my feelings, they will own me.

Within my own mid and heart, I am honest.

I desire you would use all your skill to paint my picture truly like me; but remark all these roughness, pimples, warts and everything as you see me, otherwise I will not pay a penny for it.

[donsaeid]

adame honest ko pari!? hame ye khanjar vardashtan poshte dostashon rah miran

[Parinaz_M]

hame ke enjoori nistan

[Parinaz_M]

Letting go


Letting go of the past and moving on is a tall order; it requires a kid of realizing that I still find difficult to do. My past will always be in the shadows of my memory to haunt me if I do not recognize it as a part of me. If I pretend it’s not important, grit my teeth and force myself to numb the pain, I have missed the point of recovery. On the other hand, if I am unwilling to let go no matter how many times I have worked through certain issues, I am also not allowing myself to be fully healthy and return to life. Part of recovery is a flowing through the stored pain and part is a decisive, forward-moving action.

I see the full picture of recovery and my responsibility to let go and move on.

Our concern is not how to worship in the catacombs but how to remain human in the skyscraper.

[Parinaz_M]

Releasing Relationships

Today I accept that I may not be able to take all of my relationships into recovery with me. As deeply as I desire to stay connected to certain people, I see now that it may be impossible. There are strong bonds that I forged during times of great pain while in my own disease. If I really recover and let go of the huge inner storehouse of anger and resentment, I may lose some of what held me in these relationships. Sometimes relationships will grow with me, sometimes they will not. Each person needs to be growing for change to happen. It is all right for me to recognize this and move on, it can even be the kind thing to do. I need not move on by rupturing the entire relationship; sometimes space or detachment is all that is needed.

I am willing to change painful, nonproductive relationships.