Closer relationships

[Dokhtar Bandari]

Maryam jaan, I think what Freud is talking about is Ego or altered Ego. Ego loves to play roles such as mom, dad, daughter, son, girl, boy and so on and so forth. If you can go beyond ego in the space where no gender or role playing matter, where pure love and unity exist, the Ego will dissolve all by itself and you can see that you, me and all other living things are just one and the same.

The seat of Ego is the Reptilian brain in human which is the primitive part of us that reacts heavily on smell, touch, taste and some other senses.. so basically what Freud is saying is that if you live within that area of your brain then that would be your behavior. On its own its not right or wrong, its just an explanation of certain behavior in our ever quest to know ourselves.

And get this, you have lived many many lives, everyone at one point has been either your father or mother, sister, brother or your child. A bit uncomfortable ..huh???


Pssssssssssssssst..Zubin jaan welcome back.

[zubin]

Zubin jaan welcome back.

thanks

[maryam9]

You mean the father-daugther/mother-son complex?

There is a name I just forgot it.

yes .....

[abadani69]

they call it BACHE NANE

maryam man tu ro mifrestam too hejleh, hala bebin

[zubin]

yes .....

I know the psychological perspective I gave you is related to the issues of the frontal lobe and "disinhibition".

That area is able to control one's emotions towards someone.

I wanted to note and gain your perspective on the possibility that the similarities between girl-girl boy-boy may produce a "zone of similarity" that is as emotionally deep as the big zone of difference between opposite genders.

As a side note it is also interesting that some people dont even agree there is such a thing as gender. I think Abadani is moving towards that but I'm not sure (j/k )

Last, see my comment about abadani's statement below. I'm not sure how much its true, but I believe it is true a little. What if your own son resented you someday?

they call it BACHE NANE

Thats why a mother shouldn't expect their son to become more close to them. Then the son will always be hated by everyone. Same with father-daughter. Everyone will always hate daddy's girl and hate mama's boy.

[Dokhtar Bandari]

Hmmmmmmmmm interesting Zubin, good note on Frontal Lobe.

A lot of garbage that we have been fed which makes us who we are as layered being palys a big role in this as well.

I am not sure about Abadani but I sure as hell don't think that at the fundemental base of our being there is such thing as gender.

[abadani69]

I am glad you agree with me in that Ramin

Thats why a mother shouldn't expect their son to become more close to them. Then the son will always be hated by everyone. Same with father-daughter. Everyone will always hate daddy's girl and hate mama's boy.

and about you DB, all I have to say is : SCREW YOU!!!

I am not sure about Abadani but I sure as hell don't think that at the fundemental base of our being there is such thing as gender.

[Rasputin]

90% iranian boys 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .
50% iranian girls 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .


Specially if they were grow up outside of Iran between 6-12 years old .

You don't belive me ? search in internet,chats,websites and your community in city which you are there now .

[Dokhtar Bandari]

I am glad you agree with me in that Ramin



and about you DB, all I have to say is : SCREW YOU!!!

Eh va... dardet chieh bacheh? ya dobareh khab did? Khayer basheh bacheh naneh....

Red Wine, your comment reminds me of that joke "Jesus was Iranian"...lol

[zubin]

90% iranian boys 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .
50% iranian girls 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .


Specially if they were grow up outside of Iran between 6-12 years old .

You don't belive me ? search in internet,chats,websites and your community in city which you are there now .

what a bunch of bache nane's!!

Hmmmmmmmmm interesting Zubin, good note on Frontal Lobe.

A lot of garbage that we have been fed which makes us who we are as layered being palys a big role in this as well.

I am not sure about Abadani but I sure as hell don't think that at the fundemental base of our being there is such thing as gender.

I agree with the garbage part.

The issue of gender is that the sex and hormone differences in the brain corresponding to our physical differences, on average, logically, lead to gender.

Gender isn't a physical attribute but a logical attribute relating to one's physical attributes.

But some find a logic towards their physical attributes where there is no gender at all. So it is somewhat cultural.

[maryam9]

90% iranian boys 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .
50% iranian girls 16-25 years old are 'Bacheh Naneh' .


Specially if they were grow up outside of Iran between 6-12 years old .

You don't belive me ? search in internet,chats,websites and your community in city which you are there now .

hmm... and are you the 10% who is not a bache-naneh??! just kidding...
But seriously, i have loads of male persian friends, none of them are like that... maybe 1 or 2 max.

[Rasputin]

hmm... and are you the 10% who is not a bache-naneh??! just kidding...
But seriously, i have loads of male persian friends, none of them are like that... maybe 1 or 2 max.

I am bacheh nanahe too .. But i am the best bacheh naneh ! (cheshm-e hasud,kur) .

[maryam9]

I havent replied because ive been busy with stuff.These are my answers to your questions
Am also adding colour because theres too much black text

I know the psychological perspective I gave you is related to the issues of the frontal lobe and "disinhibition".

That area is able to control one's emotions towards someone.

I wanted to note and gain your perspective on the possibility that the similarities between girl-girl boy-boy may produce a "zone of similarity" that is as emotionally deep as the big zone of difference between opposite genders.

As a side note it is also interesting that some people dont even agree there is such a thing as gender. I think Abadani is moving towards that but I'm not sure (j/k )

Last, see my comment about abadani's statement below. I'm not sure how much its true, but I believe it is true a little. What if your own son resented you someday?



Thats why a mother shouldn't expect their son to become more close to them. Then the son will always be hated by everyone. Same with father-daughter. Everyone will always hate daddy's girl and hate mama's boy.

1. Yes, im sure theres a possibility. I dont really know much about psychology to give a deeper answer .

2. If my own son resented me one day it would be a sad loss. Having said that, though, it is kind of expected.
(Ive always been told that "rasme donya injourieh". After marriage, the wife usually -- but not always -- forces the husband into her family, and by doing so the son-mother relationship is affected. Thats my reasoning for saying it may be "expected").

what a bunch of bache nane's!!

I agree with the garbage part.

The issue of gender is that the sex and hormone differences in the brain corresponding to our physical differences, on average, logically, lead to gender.

Gender isn't a physical attribute but a logical attribute relating to one's physical attributes.

But some find a logic towards their physical attributes where there is no gender at all. So it is somewhat cultural.

I just wanted to say thanks for your input in this thread. Psychology is interesting Im interested in what different genders do and how their behaviour can be explained.

For example, nowadays the the man always sleeps on the side of the bed which is closest to the bedroom door and the reason is because he still imagines the bedroom door to be the cave door -- so he doesnt want the woman to be sleeping somewhere where she can be attacked. Im sure you have come across this idea before.

take care

[zubin]

Zubin:

Ive always wanted to know the reasonings behind this phenomena:

Why are mothers closer with their sons and fathers closer with their daughters?

Although I havent got any kids yet, Ive noticed this in myself. For example, if I have a baby-boy cousin and baby-girl cousin, the baby boy looks cuter than the girl... (dont know why) and i favour the boy. Dont get me wrong, i love little kids, but for some reason i favour the boy...

Whats the psychological reason behind this? Is it because the mother sees this little boy as a miniature version of the dad, so she is more protective with her son. Thats the only explanation i can come up with.

Dokhtar_Bandari, youve got kids aswell... do you favour your boy over your daughter?

electra complex= dad-daughter
oedipus complex= son-mother

I actually knew about these- the myth and freud's interpretation- but did not connect that the modern reference to these pairs is referred by them.

[indian_blues]

Opposite side attracts.