Is Good Being A Virgin ?

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  • Rasputin
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2005
    • 63906

    #1

    Is Good Being A Virgin ?

    طبق گزارشی از ایستگاه رادیویی آسیا، برخی از زنان آسیایی ساکن بریتانیا تا بدان جا پیش می*روند که بکارت خود را جعل می*کنند، زیرا در جامعه*ای که درباره ی اولین رابطه جنسی هنوز افسانه*های بسیاری وجود دارد و بر حفظ "عفت" ارج زیادی گذاشته می*شود، چاره*ای جز این نمی*بینند.

    متخصصان و مددکاران اجتماعی در برنامه*ای مستند از سوی شبکه آسیایی بی بی سی، به نام "مثل یک باکره"، گفتند در صورت برقراری رابطه*ی جنسی پیش از ازدواج، جان برخی از زنان جوان به خطر می*افتد و شاید مجبور شوند از خانه فرار کنند.


    طبق این برنامه ی تحقیقی رادیویی، در نتیجه زنان جوان از خون مصنوعی استفاده می*کنند و حتا به دوختن پرده بکارت روی می*آوردند تا تظاهر کننند که باکره هستند.

    این رسم بازتاب نگرش اجتماعی در بسیاری از بخش*های شبه*قاره ی هند است، چنانچه در این برنامه اکثر پسران بین 17 تا 21 سال مورد مصاحبه در منطقه "وست میدلاندز" - منطقه*ای با ساکنین آسیایی* زیاد - ترجیح می*دهند با زنی باکره ازدواج کنند.

    مفهوم "ناموس و عفت" هنوز در میان بسیاری از جوامع آسیایی ساکن بریتانیا حفظ شده است و نه تنها با ازدواج اجباری، بلکه با قتل زنان جوان نیز پیوند خورده است.

    یکی از مشاوران سابق سازمان آموزش بهداشت جنسی به نام "بروک" گفت زنان آسیایی جوان روزانه از وی اطلاعاتی درباره تظاهر به باکرگی می*خواهند - و او به خاطر حفظ جان این زنان، این اطلاعات را در اختیارشان قرار می دهد.

    او گفت: «آن*ها گاهی به مرکز می*آیند زیرا با دوست پسرشان رابطه جنسی داشته*اند و نگرانند مبادا شوهران آینده بفهمند که دیگر باکره نیستند.»

    «بعد در باره اسطوره*ها بحث می*شود و این که طی اولین رابطه*ی جنسی باید دختر خونریزی داشته باشد. بنابراین می*توانیم بگوییم، "خیلی از دختران خونریزی نمی*کنند".»

    «مشکل این جاست که بسیاری از مردان و مردم آسیایی اعتقاد دارند که این کار درست است و بنابراین آن*ها (دختران) نگرانند که ازدواج کنند و شب اول خونریزی نکنند و شوهرشان فکر کند که آن*ها باکره نبوده*اند و نگران تمام مشکلاتی که بعداً در زندگی*شان پیش می*آید.»

    بی*آبرویی اجتماعی

    او گفت که زنان از جوهر قرمز و خون جعلی استفاده می*کنند که از فروشگاه*ها می*توان خرید و آن را درون واژن خود قرار می*دهند یا پس از رابطه جنسی روی ملافه می*ریزند. یک زن پاکستانی گفت او کسی را می*شناخت که از یک شیشه جوهر قرمز استفاده کرده بود و با آن از خطر جست. "مادر شوهرش خیلی خوشحال بود".

    این مشاور با تأکید بر جدیت موضوع گفت، او موافق است تا درباره ی جعل باکرگی اطلاعات ارائه شود زیرا "برای برخی از دختران خطر جانی وجود دارد و این خطر به حدی است که اگر نتوانند تظاهر به باکرگی کنند، با عواقب مهلکی روبرو خواهند شد."

    یک مددکار اجتماعی که در غرب لندن با زنان آسیایی جوان کار می*کند، گفت، برخی از دختران مجبور شده*اند از خانه فرار کنند و به خانه ی زنان بروند "زیرا زندگی*شان در خطر بود. می ترسیدند کسی موضوع را بفهمد."

    لیندا کاردوزو، متخصص زنان در بیمارستان کالج کینگز در لندن، گفت برخی از زنان آسیایی مأیوسانه درصدد دوختن پرده بکارت برمی*آیند، اما مرمت پرده "خیلی سخت" است زیرا همیشه بافت کافی برای دوختن وجود ندارد.

    هدف اصلی از ترمیم پرده، خونریزی در شب زفاف است، اما البته زنان بسیاری هم هستند که در شب زفاف خونریزی نمی*کنند، خواه باکره باشند یا نباشند.

    علت آن است که پرده گاهی خیلی ارتجاعی است، شاید ناشی از استفاده از تامپون برای دوران قاعدگی باشد، شاید بر اثر ورزش زیاد و بافت*های حساس باشد و بنابراین زنان زیادی هستند که در اولین رابطه جنسی خود، خونریزی نمی*کنند.

    وی افزود: «بنابراین تضمینی وجود ندارد که این زنان به هدف خود برسند.»

    در این بخش از بیمارستان تا به حال 24 عمل دوختن پرده انجام شده است، اما بسیاری از این گونه عمل*ها نزد پزشکان خصوصی انجام می*شود و هر عمل بین 1500 تا 2000 پوند خرج برمی دارد.


    iran
  • Dokhtar Bandari
    Member
    • Oct 2007
    • 1099

    #2
    I am still a virgin and I can tell you its not good......LOL
    I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
    I would be pure, for there are those who care;
    I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
    I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
    I would be friend of all—the foe—the friendless;
    I would be giving and forget the gift;
    I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
    I would look up and laugh—and love—and lift.
    Howard Walter

    Comment

    • maryam9
      Member
      • Mar 2007
      • 644

      #3
      i thought you have kids!
      or did you get yours via


      Originally posted by Dokhtar Bandari View Post
      I am still a virgin and I can tell you its not good......LOL
      Mary's back, back again

      Comment

      • Dokhtar Bandari
        Member
        • Oct 2007
        • 1099

        #4
        They were immaculate conception... khoda dar man damid...lol
        I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
        I would be pure, for there are those who care;
        I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
        I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
        I would be friend of all—the foe—the friendless;
        I would be giving and forget the gift;
        I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
        I would look up and laugh—and love—and lift.
        Howard Walter

        Comment

        • abadani69
          Senior Member
          • Aug 2005
          • 21339

          #5
          I hate old minded ppl who said they want to be Virgin until they get married. Come on ppl, it's 21st century, wake up!!!!

          Comment

          • maryam9
            Member
            • Mar 2007
            • 644

            #6
            whats wrong with being a virgin? It shows that you have self-control. You need to develop characteristics of chastity because after you get married its vital. At some point, you and your husband/wife will be away from one another for a short time... what happens if you come across a good-looking man/woman? Youre not going to be able to control yourself.

            This is what happened to one of my friends and his fionce. The girl moved away to a different state to work for only THREE months (say, 100 days) and she meets someone there. This girl was so weak that she ended her engagement with the man she loved so much, just because she couldnt control herself. So stupid. If she was strong enough (if she had developed chastity characteristics) this whole thing wouldnt have happened. The poor guy is broken-hearted now and still talks to me about her (even though it happened about 2 years ago) and how he misses her, etc . Or what about these stay-at-home wifes? A lot of them have affairs becuase of weakness of character. They sleep with a random man and at the same time theyre still in love with their husband who is working all day like a dog.

            as the saying goes: good things come to those who wait but i guess everyone's different and thats what i think about this subject

            Originally posted by abadani69 View Post
            I hate old minded ppl who said they want to be Virgin until they get married. Come on ppl, it's 21st century, wake up!!!!
            Mary's back, back again

            Comment

            • abadani69
              Senior Member
              • Aug 2005
              • 21339

              #7
              Maryam shiraziii, khoda ye aghli be tu bede co ye kise pool be tamame memberhaye tapesh loool

              Comment

              • maryam9
                Member
                • Mar 2007
                • 644

                #8
                Arman rashti, nafahmidam chi gofti

                khoda be man aghl bedeh (badesh chi?) ke man ba hameh yey kissehye pool bedam??
                Last edited by maryam9; 04-17-2008, 04:15 PM.
                Mary's back, back again

                Comment

                • abadani69
                  Senior Member
                  • Aug 2005
                  • 21339

                  #9
                  ye aghli be tu bede vo ye kise pool be memberhaye tapesh

                  Comment

                  • gg666
                    Senior Member
                    • Aug 2005
                    • 4131

                    #10
                    man fekr konam in bahse virginity ta akhare donya edame khahad dasht. hich vaght nemitoonam ghabool konam ke (virginity=self control). kheili az dokhtar ha ta dame ezdevaj virgin mimoonan be khater aghayedi ke tou jame'e hast. ama kheili hashon behar hal ye joori ye karayee kardan va az sex chizhayee ro tajrobe kardan. ta'arof ke nadarim, kheili ha barha orgasm shodan bedoone inke virginity ro az dast bedan. it's like hiding yourself behind the concept of" I am a virgin" just to show that your pure! (No offence! Im not addressing some one here!)

                    specialy girls should not be afraid of what they do and who they are, va nabayad bezaran virginity o ezdevajo az in joor parto pala ha sarneveshteshoono taein kone!
                    Last edited by gg666; 04-17-2008, 10:23 PM.
                    Love like you never got hurt
                    work like you don't need the money
                    Dance like no one is watching


                    تا عاقلان راهی برای یکبار خندیدن پیدا کنند دیوانگان هزار بار خندیده اند

                    Comment

                    • DokhtarIrooni
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 2347

                      #11
                      Originally posted by gg666 View Post
                      man fekr konam in bahse virginity ta akhare donya edame khahad dasht. hich vaght nemitoonam ghabool konam ke (virginity=self control). kheili az dokhtar ha ta dame ezdevaj virgin mimoonan be khater aghayedi ke tou jame'e hast. ama kheili hashon behar hal ye joori ye karayee kardan va az sex chizhayee ro tajrobe kardan. ta'arof ke nadarim, kheili ha barha orgasm shodan bedoone inke virginity ro az dast bedan. it's like hiding yourself behind the concept of" I am a virgin" just to show that your pure! (No offence! Im not addressing some one here!)

                      specialy girls should not be afraid of what they do and who they are, va nabayad bezaran virginity o ezdevajo az in joor parto pala ha sarneveshteshoono taein kone!
                      doroste ke bazia ghabl az inke ezdevaj konan virgin hastan, ama bishtareshoon kheili karaye dige kardan. In aksaran bekhatereh khoonevadeh ya dineshoone. Sorry vali bazia bayad shabe aroosishoon dastmale khooneshono neshoon bedan, agaram khooni nabashe.. khoda bedadeshoon berese.. Age yek dokhtar aslan azadi nadashte bashe va nemitoone yek bf begire khob areh, virgin mimooneh. ama age ye dokhtar azad bashe (ta ye haddi) shayad virgin namooneh, ya karaye dige bokone.
                      ~ Bahar ~

                      Comment

                      • gg666
                        Senior Member
                        • Aug 2005
                        • 4131

                        #12
                        harfet kamelan doroste azizam. ina hame be khanevade va mazhab marboot mishe, va moteasefane bishtare moshkela ham az jahaye ke din rishe karde shoroo mishe.
                        hala ye chizi ham hast, bayad bebini azadi ro chi midooni. bi bando bari azadi nist. har chizi be hade khodesh bayad bashe. ama na dar hadi ke inghadr adam zire feshar bashe ke bekhatere ezdevaj majboor she gharizeye sex ro dar khodesh bokoshe. adam bayad inghadr azad bashe ke betoone khodesh baraye khodesh tasmim begire, va nazare baghie sarneveshtesho ragham bezanan. be nazaram hata agar kasi ham azadie kafi nadare bayad baraye esteghlalesh bejange, in hagheshe! ehteram be jame'e. khanevade va kheili chiza khoobeh, ama na zamani ke azadio az kasi begire. Hala in dige bastegi be khode taraf dare, ya pa bezare jelo va masire zendegisho oontor ke mikhad ta'een kone va say kone yek zendegie ideal va motefavet dashte bashe; va ya beshine too khoone va movazeb bashe ke virginity ro hefz kone ta yeki ham bekhater inke taraf virgin hast biad begiratesh, va mese kheili az zana beshine khoone dario bache dari koneh!
                        Last edited by gg666; 04-18-2008, 03:14 AM.
                        Love like you never got hurt
                        work like you don't need the money
                        Dance like no one is watching


                        تا عاقلان راهی برای یکبار خندیدن پیدا کنند دیوانگان هزار بار خندیده اند

                        Comment

                        • Dokhtar Bandari
                          Member
                          • Oct 2007
                          • 1099

                          #13
                          It is hardly acceptable for me to believe that in this day and age we are still hung up on such a primordial issue. The questions is... will you take this much time to wonder why guys are virgin or not???? and why is it a "eftekhar" when they screw a girl prior to marriage just for show off and it is not for girls the same way.
                          Our society thrives on labeling, an unfortunate prize of Ego. There is no moral to being virgin or not... it sounds preposterous. Teach a person to love in the right way and teach that child to protect his/her emotions from getting messed up with carnal desires (full filed or not)... it is ok to experience life anyway you want it to, but it is not ok if you do not consider it an experience but an unfortunate or fortunate fate of life. Teach a child from beginning to have honor and live a remarkable life and all else will fall into proper place. Even as adults, learn to have honor and dignity, so when you do give up your virginity you feel good about it not guilty.
                          Restraint of actions does not come from anything outside of you and it ought not to be contingent about what your society thinks of you but on your own dignified manners.
                          I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
                          I would be pure, for there are those who care;
                          I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
                          I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
                          I would be friend of all—the foe—the friendless;
                          I would be giving and forget the gift;
                          I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
                          I would look up and laugh—and love—and lift.
                          Howard Walter

                          Comment

                          • Dokhtare_Malous
                            Member
                            • Dec 2005
                            • 1819

                            #14
                            There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. we deserve respect if we're trying to save it. It’s worth waiting for.
                            I don’t seem to understand a lot these days maybe because a whole new world is being opened up to me as I'm growing up. I don't understand why when someone says yes I'm a virgin people look at them weird and stupid. Some may argue sex = love and love = sex which isn't true you can love someone and not have sex. In the world today all the media tells teens everyone is having sex but here’s a newsflash its not true there are more teens not having sex for whatever reason than those having sex. For all the girls out there something I have learned is a guy would rather marry someone who has remained pure and abstained from having sex than someone who has slept around. It's like buying a car to them they would rather have something brand new than something used and abused. I'm not claiming to know everything on this topic because I don't but I'm passing on what I do know and that is there are other ways to show love than having sex, you don't gain anything from sleeping around besides people thinking your a slut, and for the guys your just sick if you think sleeping around makes you more of a man. Its self-respect and trusting your loved one to love you without any conditions or physical satisfaction in return.

                            Comment

                            • DokhtarIrooni
                              Senior Member
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 2347

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Dokhtare_Malous View Post
                              There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. we deserve respect if we're trying to save it. It’s worth waiting for.
                              I don’t seem to understand a lot these days maybe because a whole new world is being opened up to me as I'm growing up. I don't understand why when someone says yes I'm a virgin people look at them weird and stupid. Some may argue sex = love and love = sex which isn't true you can love someone and not have sex. In the world today all the media tells teens everyone is having sex but here’s a newsflash its not true there are more teens not having sex for whatever reason than those having sex. For all the girls out there something I have learned is a guy would rather marry someone who has remained pure and abstained from having sex than someone who has slept around. It's like buying a car to them they would rather have something brand new than something used and abused. I'm not claiming to know everything on this topic because I don't but I'm passing on what I do know and that is there are other ways to show love than having sex, you don't gain anything from sleeping around besides people thinking your a slut, and for the guys your just sick if you think sleeping around makes you more of a man. Its self-respect and trusting your loved one to love you without any conditions or physical satisfaction in return.
                              Dokhtar Bandari I agree with you 110%

                              Dokhtare malous i have to disagree with you. There is a big difference between having sex with a person you love and "sleeping around". Not being a virgin doesnt make a person a slut at all. If you have sex with a person you love, it can be a very beautiful thing, because two people dont get closer than that. Its okay to be a virgin if YOU have made that choice and not someone else like your family. But its also okay not to be a virgin, if you are with a person you love.

                              Chera hame marda mitoonan har kari deleshoon mikhad bokonan bad vaghti mikhan ezdevaj konan ye "dokhtar" mikhan? In rooza hame mardaye irani dige injoori nistan. baziashoon doost daran ba ye khanoom bashan ke yekam experience dashte bashe. Age dokhtara bayad virgin bashan, marda ham bayad bashan
                              ~ Bahar ~

                              Comment

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