My heart hurts, it´s crushing me.
Hi at all.
I dont know how to begin, i only ask to understand me and my situation.
(and sorry for my errible english, i give my best)
I begin to tell a story.
About 6 months ago, my girlfriend said to me: "It´s over ... i dont what you anymore".
We were at this time right one year together. And it was the happiest and best time of my hole life, and it was almost perfect, because i did many things wrong, not things like "cheating" or anything, i never would do something like this, .... anyway, she gave me in this year so much love that was enormous, i really learned "what loves mean". And then she said to me "It´s over" it was like an ... i don´t know how i can write this feeling"s" in words. But it was terrible, my heart crashed, it destroyed my hole world.
And still in this discussion, i fight, i think i can call this "fight", i fighted for her, i fighted for me, i want to know why, and i want that she came down and becomes calmer.
Than in the last months, i called her, 4 times or more. She was so cold aganinst me, that was not my "sweetheart".
And i dont know of she talked with me, because she knew how much pain she did to me, or to hear me, dont know.
And then it was approximately 4 weeks ago, i was like always in chat, to wait for her, as long as i can stay there to be for her, as she needs me ,... etc.
And in one moment she came "online" i was ... WOW so long time ago that she was here. and i talked to her, but it don´t was her it was cousin,
i was suprised, her cousin?! "where he have this password from this account?" he told me she gave it to him, because she had something to know about schoolwork, or something like that.
I spoke with him, about her and about "the weather" thus really normal things. and then he want to go, i was happy, and gone to my bed.
At the next day i go again in the chat and see that "she" wrote offline messages for me, and i read them but with every letter fom this words ....i .. it was like, a gun shots right into my heart, ... again and again.
She wrote she hate me, she dont want to see me anymore, she dont want to hear, to see me. i write this with tears in my eyes, and i dont know further.
What said this cousin to her, ... i can give her the chat ... i don know .
I want to speak to her, and thus i wrote an e-mail but dont know of this "guy" deletes my messages.
i really dont know further, i dontknow of i do already again the wrong.
I can´t call her, the number of the telephone changed...
as you read this... i only want to speak with you, i sit here already 6 months, i have almost every day nightmares, that laughing really hard...
It´s crushing me, really
Lotfan, give me the chance to speak with you. this forum is my only hope, to know what happens...
Bitte, ich weiss nicht mehr weiter mein schatz, ich schlafe kaum stehe halb6 auf und sitze da und weine... ich fühl mich so dreckig.
And i know that you have more pain then i could ever have, and i hope this is the "punish" that i told you from, and i hope you goes it now better.
----------------------------
Hi at all.
I dont know how to begin, i only ask to understand me and my situation.
(and sorry for my errible english, i give my best)
I begin to tell a story.
About 6 months ago, my girlfriend said to me: "It´s over ... i dont what you anymore".
We were at this time right one year together. And it was the happiest and best time of my hole life, and it was almost perfect, because i did many things wrong, not things like "cheating" or anything, i never would do something like this, .... anyway, she gave me in this year so much love that was enormous, i really learned "what loves mean". And then she said to me "It´s over" it was like an ... i don´t know how i can write this feeling"s" in words. But it was terrible, my heart crashed, it destroyed my hole world.
And still in this discussion, i fight, i think i can call this "fight", i fighted for her, i fighted for me, i want to know why, and i want that she came down and becomes calmer.
Than in the last months, i called her, 4 times or more. She was so cold aganinst me, that was not my "sweetheart".
And i dont know of she talked with me, because she knew how much pain she did to me, or to hear me, dont know.
And then it was approximately 4 weeks ago, i was like always in chat, to wait for her, as long as i can stay there to be for her, as she needs me ,... etc.
And in one moment she came "online" i was ... WOW so long time ago that she was here. and i talked to her, but it don´t was her it was cousin,
i was suprised, her cousin?! "where he have this password from this account?" he told me she gave it to him, because she had something to know about schoolwork, or something like that.
I spoke with him, about her and about "the weather" thus really normal things. and then he want to go, i was happy, and gone to my bed.
At the next day i go again in the chat and see that "she" wrote offline messages for me, and i read them but with every letter fom this words ....i .. it was like, a gun shots right into my heart, ... again and again.
She wrote she hate me, she dont want to see me anymore, she dont want to hear, to see me. i write this with tears in my eyes, and i dont know further.
What said this cousin to her, ... i can give her the chat ... i don know .
I want to speak to her, and thus i wrote an e-mail but dont know of this "guy" deletes my messages.
i really dont know further, i dontknow of i do already again the wrong.
I can´t call her, the number of the telephone changed...
as you read this... i only want to speak with you, i sit here already 6 months, i have almost every day nightmares, that laughing really hard...
It´s crushing me, really
Lotfan, give me the chance to speak with you. this forum is my only hope, to know what happens...
Bitte, ich weiss nicht mehr weiter mein schatz, ich schlafe kaum stehe halb6 auf und sitze da und weine... ich fühl mich so dreckig.
And i know that you have more pain then i could ever have, and i hope this is the "punish" that i told you from, and i hope you goes it now better.
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in zendegie... 
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