Tweet
Mistress (lover)
A mistress is a man's long term sexual partner and companion. Today it is used primarily to refer to the companion of a man who is married to another woman, in the case of an unmarried man it is usual to speak of a "girlfriend" or "partner." The relationship is generally stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple do not live together openly.
Historically a man "kept" a mistress. As the term implies, he was responsible for her debts and provided for her in much the same way as he did his wife. In more recent and emancipated times, it is more likely that the mistress has a job of her own, and is less, if at all, financially dependent on the man. It is not uncommon for a man to have acknowledged children by his mistress.
Historically mistresses are often thought of in terms of the most well known, women such as Nell Gwynne and Madame de Pompadour. However, the keeping of a mistress was not confined to monarchs and the nobility but permeated down through the ranks. Anyone who could afford one, regardless of social position, could have a mistress.
A mistress is not the same as a prostitute. While many of the more notable Mistresses of history may have begun their working lives in that profession, a mistress keeps herself exclusively reserved for one man, in much the same way as a wife. Neither are mistresses always confined to the obscurity of a clandestine relationship; in the courts of Europe particularly Versailles and Whitehall in the 17th and 18th centuries a mistress often wielded great power and influence. The mistresses of both Louis XV and Charles II were often considered to exert great influence over their lovers, their relationships being an open secret.
While the extremely wealthy might keep a mistress for life (as George II of the United Kingdom did with "Mrs. Howard"), even after they were no longer romantically linked, such was not the case for most kept women. Wealthy merchants and young nobles might have a kept woman, but when they were through with her, either because of disease or waning fortunes or waning beauty or waning affections, she would move down the criminal sexual ladder rather than up it. Thus, being a mistress was an occupation for younger women, who might go on to marriage, if fortunate, or vulgar prostitution, if not.
During the 19th century when morals became more puritanical, the keeping of a mistress became more circumspect, but conversely the tightening of morality also created a greater desire for a man to have a mistress. When an upper class man married a woman of equal rank, as was the norm, it was likely that she had been strictly brought up to believe that sexual intercourse was firmly for procreation rather than recreation. Some men thus went to a mistress if they wanted a less prudish female companion.
Historically a man "kept" a mistress. As the term implies, he was responsible for her debts and provided for her in much the same way as he did his wife. In more recent and emancipated times, it is more likely that the mistress has a job of her own, and is less, if at all, financially dependent on the man. It is not uncommon for a man to have acknowledged children by his mistress.
Historically mistresses are often thought of in terms of the most well known, women such as Nell Gwynne and Madame de Pompadour. However, the keeping of a mistress was not confined to monarchs and the nobility but permeated down through the ranks. Anyone who could afford one, regardless of social position, could have a mistress.
A mistress is not the same as a prostitute. While many of the more notable Mistresses of history may have begun their working lives in that profession, a mistress keeps herself exclusively reserved for one man, in much the same way as a wife. Neither are mistresses always confined to the obscurity of a clandestine relationship; in the courts of Europe particularly Versailles and Whitehall in the 17th and 18th centuries a mistress often wielded great power and influence. The mistresses of both Louis XV and Charles II were often considered to exert great influence over their lovers, their relationships being an open secret.
While the extremely wealthy might keep a mistress for life (as George II of the United Kingdom did with "Mrs. Howard"), even after they were no longer romantically linked, such was not the case for most kept women. Wealthy merchants and young nobles might have a kept woman, but when they were through with her, either because of disease or waning fortunes or waning beauty or waning affections, she would move down the criminal sexual ladder rather than up it. Thus, being a mistress was an occupation for younger women, who might go on to marriage, if fortunate, or vulgar prostitution, if not.
During the 19th century when morals became more puritanical, the keeping of a mistress became more circumspect, but conversely the tightening of morality also created a greater desire for a man to have a mistress. When an upper class man married a woman of equal rank, as was the norm, it was likely that she had been strictly brought up to believe that sexual intercourse was firmly for procreation rather than recreation. Some men thus went to a mistress if they wanted a less prudish female companion.
Comment