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Somethin' To Offend Everyone !
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan!
- What is a Yankee ?
- The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone!
- What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
- The position of the dirt bag!
- Why is divorce so expensive?
- Because it's worth it!
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
- Doughnut!
- Why is air a lot like sex?
- Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any!
- What do you call a smart blonde?
- A golden retriever!
- What do attorneys use for birth control?
- Their personalities!
- What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
- 45 lbs!
- What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
- 45 minutes!
- What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
- Through his chest with a sharp knife!
- Why do men want to marry virgins?
- They can't stand criticism!
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
- Because those men are all taken!
- What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
- After a year, the dog is still excited to see you!
- What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
- The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving!
- Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
- Because they have cotton balls!
- What's the difference between a porcupine and Mercedes Benz?
- A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!
- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- "Are you sure it's mine?!"
- Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
- Everyone has the same DNA in West Virginia!
- Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
- Breasts don't have eyes!
- Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
- He walks around saying "Yo"!
- Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
- Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it!
- Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
- A different bar!
- Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
- They named him "Sum Sing Wong"!
- What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
- A speech impediment!
- What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
- They're hiring!
- What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
- A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe"!
- How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
- Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
- What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
- A northern fairytale begins "O nceuponatime...". A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."!
- Why is there no Disneyland in China?
- No one's tall enough to go on the good rides!
Juan on Juan!
- What is a Yankee ?
- The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone!
- What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
- The position of the dirt bag!
- Why is divorce so expensive?
- Because it's worth it!
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
- Doughnut!
- Why is air a lot like sex?
- Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any!
- What do you call a smart blonde?
- A golden retriever!
- What do attorneys use for birth control?
- Their personalities!
- What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
- 45 lbs!
- What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
- 45 minutes!
- What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
- Through his chest with a sharp knife!
- Why do men want to marry virgins?
- They can't stand criticism!
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
- Because those men are all taken!
- What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
- After a year, the dog is still excited to see you!
- What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
- The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving!
- Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
- Because they have cotton balls!
- What's the difference between a porcupine and Mercedes Benz?
- A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!
- What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- "Are you sure it's mine?!"
- Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
- Everyone has the same DNA in West Virginia!
- Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
- Breasts don't have eyes!
- Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
- He walks around saying "Yo"!
- Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
- Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it!
- Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
- A different bar!
- Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
- They named him "Sum Sing Wong"!
- What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
- A speech impediment!
- What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
- They're hiring!
- What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
- A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe"!
- How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
- Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
- What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
- A northern fairytale begins "O nceuponatime...". A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."!
- Why is there no Disneyland in China?
- No one's tall enough to go on the good rides!
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