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What a man wants in a woman
Original list (age 22)
a. Sexy
b. Red head
c. Owns her own liquor store
d. Loves sex
e. Looks fantastic
f. Easy to take off clothes
g. Thinks I am a great lover
h. Wants to try new positions.
Revised list (age 32)
a. Looks good
b. is able to open a car door
c. has good table manners
d. laughs at my jokes
e. knows stores carry other things then frozen dinners
f. knows how to cook
g. doesn't nag about birthdays and anniversaries
h. likes sex
Revised (age 42)
a. Wears less the a half pound of make-up
b. knows how to drive without scaring me
c. is able to grasp most conversations
d. is able to tell a joke
e. is less then 50 pounds overweight
f. relinquishs control of the remote occasionally
g. able to check the toilet seat
h. Washes her bathrobe now and then
Revised (age 52)
a. Wears more make-up
b. Tries not to belch in public
c. Has a job
d. Learns new jokes
e. Is able to get off the couch to find the kitchen
f. Remembers a stoves main use
g. Shaves armpits and trims moustache occasionally
Revised (age 62)
a. Doesn't scare your friends
b. Remembers where the bathroom is, in time
c. Make-up budget is less then national debt
d. Can't be heard snoring from spare bedroom
e. Is less then 100 pounds overweight
f. Wears clothes that cover her belly
g. Likes soft foods
h. Remembers where she left her teeth
i. Doesn't wake me up early on weekends
Revised (age 72)
a. breathing in normal rhythm
b. Gets to the toilet in time
c. Doesn't nag too much
a. Sexy
b. Red head
c. Owns her own liquor store
d. Loves sex
e. Looks fantastic
f. Easy to take off clothes
g. Thinks I am a great lover
h. Wants to try new positions.
Revised list (age 32)
a. Looks good
b. is able to open a car door
c. has good table manners
d. laughs at my jokes
e. knows stores carry other things then frozen dinners
f. knows how to cook
g. doesn't nag about birthdays and anniversaries
h. likes sex
Revised (age 42)
a. Wears less the a half pound of make-up
b. knows how to drive without scaring me
c. is able to grasp most conversations
d. is able to tell a joke
e. is less then 50 pounds overweight
f. relinquishs control of the remote occasionally
g. able to check the toilet seat
h. Washes her bathrobe now and then
Revised (age 52)
a. Wears more make-up
b. Tries not to belch in public
c. Has a job
d. Learns new jokes
e. Is able to get off the couch to find the kitchen
f. Remembers a stoves main use
g. Shaves armpits and trims moustache occasionally
Revised (age 62)
a. Doesn't scare your friends
b. Remembers where the bathroom is, in time
c. Make-up budget is less then national debt
d. Can't be heard snoring from spare bedroom
e. Is less then 100 pounds overweight
f. Wears clothes that cover her belly
g. Likes soft foods
h. Remembers where she left her teeth
i. Doesn't wake me up early on weekends
Revised (age 72)
a. breathing in normal rhythm
b. Gets to the toilet in time
c. Doesn't nag too much
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