tapesh.com

[RoadRunner]

Working Girls

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss..
Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.
One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her.
After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at health club down the road.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss..
Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"

[Nazanin]

looooooooool omg

[IQ]

LoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoL

[Rasputin]

يه رشتي مرد داشتن ميبردن حسابرسي وسط راه ديد هر 1ساعت با سوزن يكي به عمش ميزنن! گفت: چرا همچين ميكنين؟ گفتن آخه هر ساعت به يكي ميداد. يه ذره رفت جلوتر ديد كه هر نيم ساعت يه سوزن به خالش ميزنن! گفت: اينو چرا اينجوري ميكنين؟ گفتن هر نيم ساعت به يكي ميداد! يه ذره رفت جلوتر ديد كه مادرشو بردن زير چرخ خياطي
---
پيرزنه از پنجره خونش ديد زن جوون همسايه لخت وايساده وسط اتاق رفت در زد بهش گفت:خانم چرا تو خونه لخت ميگردي؟ زن جوون گفت لخت چيه؟ اين لباس عشقه پيرزنه هم برگشت خونه شب كه شوهرش اومد خونه ديد پيرزنه لخته. گفت: خانم اين چه وضعيه؟ چرا لختي؟ پيرزنه گفت: عزيزم اين لباس عشقه! پيرمرده گفت: خوب لااقل يه اتويي به اين لباست ميزدي
---
رشتيه مي ميره ,ميره بهشت.اونجا يه ترك رو ميبينه.تركه بهش مي گه :چي شد كه مردي؟؟
ميگه:والا رفتم خونه ديدم هيچ كفشي دم در نيست...رفتم تو آشپزخونه ديدم زنم وايساده داره آشپزي ميكنه!!! از خوشحالي سكتم زد مردم...تركه بهش ميگه خاك بر سرت حداقل ميومدي در يخچال باز ميكردي...نه من ميمردم نه تو
---

[Nazanin]

looooooooooool @ avali

[IQ]

loooooooooool

[Rasputin]

يه روز يه دختر خوشگل از يه آخوندي ميپرسه...:حاج آقا اگه من با يه پسر جوون صحبت كنم چه حكمي داره؟
حاج اقا:در انصورت شما معصيت كردايد
دختر:حاج اقا اگه برم خونشون چي؟
حاج اقا:در انصورت اتش جهنم را براي خود خريدايد
دختر:حاج اقا اگه با شما صحبت كنم چي؟
حاج اقا: اي شيطون ميخواي بري بهشت؟
---
به تركه ميگن اقا تا حالا شما ماشين حل دادين؟
ميه نه ,حل ندادم فقط يه بار تو ماشين حل شدم دادم
---
تركه داشته از تير چراغ برق مي رفته بالا

يكي بهش مي گه سيم ها لخته برق مي گيرتد

تركه ميگه اشكالي نداره يا الله مي گم
---
يه روز رشتيها زنهاشون و ميكنن توگوني ميفرستن بم .يكي ميپرسه چرا اين كارو ميكنين؟ ميگن: كمكهاي جنسي به بم
---
به رشتيه مي گن تو هر وقت از خونه بيرون مي روي خانمت رفيقش رو مي اره خونه .رشتيه ميگه خانم من اهل اين حرفها نيست .ميگن بيا بريم نشونت بديم . وقتي از پنجره داخل خونه را مي بينه خنده اش مي گيرد . دوستش ميگه مگر خنده داره .ميگه آخه من لخت علي آقا قصاب را تا حال نديده بودم
---

[Nazanin]

loool @ komak haye jensi be Bam

[IQ]

loooooooool

[Rasputin]

Marriage!!
***
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and

be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

At the cocktail party, one man said to another, "Aren't you

wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other

man replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the

same thing: "You can have mine."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

When a woman steals your husband, there is

no better revenge than to let her keep him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eighty percent of married men cheat in

the USA The rest cheat in Canada.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much

does it cost to get married?" And the father replied,

"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew

what real happiness was until I got married; . . .

and by then it was too late !"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict

attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go

through life thinking they had no faults at all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You know the honeymoon is pretty much over

when you start to go out with the boys on

Wednesday nights, and so does she.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Husband: "Want a quickie?"

Wife: "As opposed to what?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

First guy: "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk

down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and

still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

[Nazanin]

At the cocktail party, one man said to another, "Aren't you

wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other

man replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong woman."

Kollesh kheili bahal bood, vali in yeki bishtar lol

[Rasputin]

Nazanin

[IQ]

looool

[Rasputin]

يه روز يه عربه ميره بالاي تير چراغ برق.دوستش از پايين داد ميزنه سيما لختن عربه ميگه سيما خانم يا الله
---
تركه ميشه رئيس فدراسيون شطرنج، دو تا قانون جديد ميذاره:
1ـ اسب نميتونه فيل رو بزنه
2ـ خر هم بازي
---
روز valentine يكي ميره كارت پستال فروشي و ميگه آقا كارتي دارين كه روش نوشته باشه تو تنها عشق مني؟ يارو ميگه بله. ميگه پس لطفا 16 تا بدين!
---
رشتيه زن مي گيره خودش پرده برداري مي كنه
بقيه بهره برداري
---
يه روز يه رشتيه بچه دار نميشه مستا جرش رو عوض ميكنه
---
به تركه ميگن مي دوني شباهت شرت و ماه چيه؟اينه كه هر دوشون توي شب در ميان بيرون
---
ئه تركه داشت خرش رو كتك ميزد.
بهش گفتن اين زبون بسته رو چرا مي زني؟
تركه گفت:
_دخالت نكنيد موضوع خانوادگي
---

[Rasputin]

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"