YOU WANT TRUTH OR YOU WANT NICE? (For Ladies)
At one point or another, we have all been asked the ever so infamous “Do I look fat in these pants?” question. Weather, we are out shopping or getting ready to go out, we have all had a friend, sister, husband or wife, approach us with “the question”, and I’m sure we have all had the opportunity to be truthful, or perhaps in order to spare our loved ones feelings, we have chosen to be nice.
On the other hand, we have ourselves at one point or another posed that very same question to our friends, family, or partner.
My sister posed that very same question of “Do I look fat in this s***t” just recently and well, my honesty was not exactly welcomed to put it lightly. Not expecting me to respond as I did, she was shocked to say the least. Now at the time, I did not realize I was being harsh, in my own way, I thought I was being helpful by letting my sister know that her pleated s***t, did not flatter her pear shaped figure. Silly me, I thought that it was common knowledge that us pear shaped women should not be caught dead in a pleated s***t since it emphasizes the hip area which is usually the problem area for most of us.
Given her reaction, I suddenly had an epiphany and realized that when people ask “the question”, they do not necessarily want or are prepared to hear the truth?
We pose questions, but are not really prepared to hear answers.
I know personally when I ask anyone if I look fat, I actually want to hear the full truth, but having thought this over, I am not sure if I am actually ready to hear the truth. So, how do we know when we answer the oh so infamous question, weather we should be forthright and give the truthful answer or be nice and give Politically correct answer. The fact of the matter is that although we may not necessarily be ready to hear the truth, we may actually need to hear it.
If our friends and family do not tell us the truth, about how we look, how we present ourselves, if we have gained a few pounds then who will? If we decide to spare feelings and always give the nice answer, then how will anyone ever know the truth?
On the other hand, if we give the honest unexpected answer, how will it affect our relationships?
Perhaps, we may need to develop a new system that allows us to be both honest when necessary and nice when required.
Maybe next time we hear “the question,” we can ask a question right back, “Do you want nice or do you want truth”? This way they know exactly what they are getting themselves into and well by the way they respond, you will know if they are ready to hear the truth or they simply just want a little nice stroking of the old ego.
By Saeideh is an Actress based in Toronto Ontario.
On the other hand, we have ourselves at one point or another posed that very same question to our friends, family, or partner.
My sister posed that very same question of “Do I look fat in this s***t” just recently and well, my honesty was not exactly welcomed to put it lightly. Not expecting me to respond as I did, she was shocked to say the least. Now at the time, I did not realize I was being harsh, in my own way, I thought I was being helpful by letting my sister know that her pleated s***t, did not flatter her pear shaped figure. Silly me, I thought that it was common knowledge that us pear shaped women should not be caught dead in a pleated s***t since it emphasizes the hip area which is usually the problem area for most of us.
Given her reaction, I suddenly had an epiphany and realized that when people ask “the question”, they do not necessarily want or are prepared to hear the truth?
We pose questions, but are not really prepared to hear answers.
I know personally when I ask anyone if I look fat, I actually want to hear the full truth, but having thought this over, I am not sure if I am actually ready to hear the truth. So, how do we know when we answer the oh so infamous question, weather we should be forthright and give the truthful answer or be nice and give Politically correct answer. The fact of the matter is that although we may not necessarily be ready to hear the truth, we may actually need to hear it.
If our friends and family do not tell us the truth, about how we look, how we present ourselves, if we have gained a few pounds then who will? If we decide to spare feelings and always give the nice answer, then how will anyone ever know the truth?
On the other hand, if we give the honest unexpected answer, how will it affect our relationships?
Perhaps, we may need to develop a new system that allows us to be both honest when necessary and nice when required.
Maybe next time we hear “the question,” we can ask a question right back, “Do you want nice or do you want truth”? This way they know exactly what they are getting themselves into and well by the way they respond, you will know if they are ready to hear the truth or they simply just want a little nice stroking of the old ego.
By Saeideh is an Actress based in Toronto Ontario.
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