Is monogamy naive?

[SuperWoman]

JOUBIN,
are you hiding something from us you r just the good old devil's advocate...we're one big family you can share just kidding

[maryam9]

I agree, its a very interesting topic.

Actually I've studied this topic in depth and specialize in some aspects of it. Scientifically speaking, these views are very controversial and hardly established. For instance, people are always evolving and one pattern is never set. Also, in addition to biological influences, environmental and cultural influences always affect sexual preferences.

What I'm getting at iss that though men are a bit faster and more mobile in terms of sexual energy, the energy which you mention women have through perception, hormones, and which fluctuates, may be as strong or even stronger.

Its different, but this does not mean its weaker. Maybe men's drive is more continuous and prevalent, and women make this up through the strength and seriousness of their urge. At the end, we can't just assume that its harder for guys to control based on appearances, that's all.

1. ive studied it aswell (daneshgaa)
2. in my opinion its more difficult for men since they are the ones who carry on the species, by "mating" (not using crude language!) its the female who would sit at home
3- with regards to the sexual energy, i read an analogy in a book once, it said that men are like microwaves, they can heat up very easily , whereas women are like ovens, coz it takes a while, but once theyre hot, it lasts a long time (lol)

____
i hope were not side-tracking from the original topic,
500 posts later, i would say that No: monogamy is not naive. it shows your dedication to one person. polygamy (marrying more than one spouse/having more than one female)shows a sign of disrespect towards the member of opposite sex. men and women are equal and one does not "own" the other.

[csite]

1. ive studied it aswell (daneshgaa)

What course is this?

[donsaeid]

JOUBIN,
are you hiding something from us you r just the good old devil's advocate...we're one big family you can share just kidding

exactly he wants 4 wife

[SuperWoman]

how many he's got?

[zubin]

JOUBIN,
are you hiding something from us you r just the good old devil's advocate...we're one big family you can share just kidding

DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

I follow the method Socrates used in the old days, just questioning, but knowing nothing. The truth does come out this way. Although... ofcourse there is a little bit of holding back.

Monogamy... its a wierd topic. I think it is very important in some relationships, especially the ones that are the final relationship to make you khoshbakht. Other than that, it does seem a little naive. Often, a man and women will be together without wanting to... if this does not disturb monogamy like Maryam said, its better. Its better to split or take a break. The question is what if a break is not possible?

exactly he wants 4 wife

yeah right! I'm a one-girl man myself!!!

[zubin]

3- with regards to the sexual energy, i read an analogy in a book once, it said that men are like microwaves, they can heat up very easily , whereas women are like ovens, coz it takes a while, but once theyre hot, it lasts a long time (lol)

I really like that analogy. This was my point. I can't accept that the microwave is stronger than the oven!

And about your evolutionary analysis, I know its in vogue to a certain point, but its simplistic. Women have more freedom and responsibility now in relation to old times.

What course is this?

In my opinion, you should take an advanced 'neuro-endocrinology' class, that's offered at the psychology department of your school, and nothing else (not gender class or anything).

[maryam9]

DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

I follow the method Socrates used in the old days, just questioning, but knowing nothing. Although... ofcourse there is a little bit of holding back.

Monogamy... its a wierd topic. I think it is very important in some relationships, especially the ones that are the final relationship to make you khoshbakht. Other than that, it does seem a little naive. Often, a man and women will be together without wanting to... if this does not disturb monogamy like Maryam said, its better. Its better to take a break. The question is what if a break is not possible?

joubin - wasnt sure what you meant by "break".
You're like Ross from Friends, lol.
Elaborate on what you mean, please.

csite - check your private messages

moderators - See! this is how every thread should be like on tapesh.com
(no one-lined random chit chat, and keeping to the topic)

[SuperWoman]

i personally dont believe in taking breaks....when you cheat on the purity and emotions of a relationship, thing wont be the same...

i know some people just sleep together (and then sleep around) but i don't think we should discuss that category...they aren't 'real' relationships to begin with....but as to break the honor of a marriage or serious relationship, is something else....

[maryam9]

I really like that analogy. This was my point. I can't accept that the microwave is stronger than the oven!

And about your evolutionary analysis, I know its in vogue to a certain point, but its simplistic. Women have more freedom and responsibility now in relation to old times.

In my opinion, you should take an advanced 'neuro-endocrinology' class, that's offered at the psychology department of your school, and nothing else (not gender class or anything).

you should read this book, its an easy read coz its arranged into small paragraphs, i read it so quickly

why men dont listen and women cant read maps
by allan and barbara pearce
Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It
fantastic book

[zubin]

joubin - wasnt sure what you meant by "break".
You're like Ross from Friends, lol.
Elaborate on what you mean, please.

I'm just picturing, eg a woman, who is abused, emotionally or physically, in the relationship. I think she deserves a break from her man, and perhaps in some cases should have another relationship. The man in this case should do the same if he wants in my opinion.

[zubin]

i personally dont believe in taking breaks....when you cheat on the purity and emotions of a relationship, thing wont be the same...

but I'm talking about circumstances where a person has been abused...

[zubin]

you should read this book, its an easy read coz its arranged into small paragraphs, i read it so quickly

why men dont listen and women cant read maps
by allan and barbara pearce

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/0767907639/sr=1-1/qid=1184529786/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_top/104-0126583-6654372?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books&qid=1184529786&sr=1-1#customerReviews

fantastic book

western science exaggerates gender differences I think, and doesn't look enough at environmental confounds to their findings...

[donsaeid]

yeah right! I'm a one-girl man myself!!!

what ever dude! age zarfiate javabo nadari nago harfi ke baz arad pashimani! kheili loosi!

[maryam9]

I'm just picturing, eg a woman, who is abused, emotionally or physically, in the relationship. I think she deserves a break from her man, and perhaps in some cases should have another relationship. The man in this case should do the same if he wants in my opinion.

its obvious that any man(or woman, to be fair) who abuses the other in a relationship has made it a continual habit ... why should a person take a break from an abusive partner & after a few months get back with the maniac? the relationship should come to an end ASAP. NO BREAKS!

yes, its true that the women/man might still have feelings for the abusive person, because youll still love them even if they act like a jerk. Ok, so the man/woman flips out once and goes crazy - everyones human, so we'll give the person a second chance. But once he/she makes it a habit of abusing the partner, then thats crossing the line. Any man/woman has basic human rights - they shouldnt be tortured etc, either mentally, physically, especially by the one who is supposed to be their partner.