Divorce

[Rasputin]

Smelly divorce hits Iranian court

An Iranian woman says she wants to divorce her husband because he has not washed for more than a year, according to a press report.

The 36-year-old woman, identified as Mina, reportedly told a court in Tehran that her husband smells so bad even their children will not go near him.

She said that when she met her husband eight years ago, he was obsessive about staying clean.

Women in Iran have fewer rights than men when it comes to getting divorced.

A woman normally has to prove that her husband has neglected her financially or sexually, is a drug addict or is physically abusive.

Mina reportedly told the divorce court the smell of her husband was so bad that it was making her family a laughing stock.

"We cannot go to any parties. I feel so ashamed," she was quoted by Iran's state-run newspaper.

Divorce criteria

She said he "does not like water and does not want to take a shower. He doesn't even wash when he wakes up in the morning."

She said that when they first married, he had an obsessive compulsion to stay clean.

"He spent hours taking showers three times a day and washed his hands every few minutes," she reportedly said.

"But he suddenly changed... Now nobody, including me, my children and his colleagues, can stand him."

A legal expert told the AFP news agency that being smelly was not a valid reason for divorce in Iran.

But Mina could argue it had caused her to hate her husband so much that she could no longer live with him, which would meet the criteria.

[Sepideh_UK]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I can't belive this..
just cuz he aint washed for a year, she wantz to divorce him??? wat are ppl like huh?

[donsaeid]

che marde khari ke hamom narafte ye sal

[Rasputin]

couple of nights ago, my friends and I -- let's call them Ahmad and Ali Reza -- went out to eat some Italian food. We have had our quota of Chelo Kabab and Chinese for the week so we decided on pasta.

As we were waiting to be seated, Ahmad's cousin walked in with a bunch of his friends. Naturally we asked them to join us because one of the girls in their group was just drop dead gorgeous. It turned out that all these young girls and guys were grad students in UCLA. The discussion somehow ended up being about divorce.

One of the young guys in the group had done studies on divorce statistics in the State of California, between 1996 & 2001. Analysis of these statistical data had shown that it is possible to target specific segments of the population, based on their income, age and length of marriage for divorce lawyer advertisements. His recommendation was met with such enthusiasm in the consulting firm he had been working in as an intern, that they made him a lucrative job offer which included paying for his law school's tuition.

This is a highlight of what this guy's research had revealed (thank God for laptop computers):

1) Divorce rate based on annual income level; single family income

Below $25,000............. 44%
$25,000-$40,000............. 32%
$40,000-$75,000............. 26%
$75,000-$120,000............. 29%
$120,000-200,000............. 34%
$200,000-400,000............. 38%
$400,000-1000,000............. 43%
Above $1000,000............. 27%

2) Rate of divorce between months 29-39, after civil recording of marriage

Below $25,000............. 43%
$200,000-400,000............. 47%
$400,000-1000,000............. 43%

All other income categories were below 37%

Our friend was a bit uncomfortable sharing more of the data with us because the data now belonged to his employers.

I found this data fascinating. I hope you do too. With the hope that the divorce rate throughout the world decreases every year.

[donsaeid]

[donsaeid]

[donsaeid]

[abadani69]

عاشق شدن مجاني است اما بيرون كردن عشق از سر گاهي اوقات خيلي گران تمام مي شود. مجله اقتصادي فوربس آمريكا فهرست 10 طلاق پرهزينه جهان را منتشر كرده است.
به گزارش عصر ايران به نقل از پايگاه خبري BBC، در صدر اين فهرست مايكل جردن ستاره بي بديل جهان بسكتبال قرار دارد كه در سال 2007 با صرف هزينه اي بيش از 150 ميليون دلار توانست از همسر خود جدا شود. بازيكن نامدار NBA هنوز هم به طور كامل از خوانيتا وانوي كارمند بانك كه در سال 1989 و در اوج بازي خود با او ازدواج كرده بود جدا نشده است.
بر اساس بر*آورد فوربس، اين هزينه كمتر از نصف درآمدي است كه جردن در طول ازدواج خود به دست آورده است. وي در اين دوران 350 ميليون دلار درآمد كسب كرد.
پس از او نيل دايموند ترانه سر ا وخواننده معروف نيز در سال 1994با صرف حدود 150 ميليون دلار در رده دوم قرار گرفت زيرا او مجبور شد اين مبلغ را به مارسيا مورفي بپردازد.
استيون اسپيلبرگ كارگردان برجسته هاليوود و خالق آثار پرطرفدار سينما نيز در سال 1989، نيز يكصد ميليون دلار خرج كرد تا از همسر خود جدا شود. اسپيلبرگ پس از 4 سال زندگي با امي ايروينگ از او جدا شد.
هريسون فورد(85 ميليون دلار)، كوين كاستنر(80 ميليون دلار)، پل مك كارتني(60 ميليون دلار)،جيمز كامرون(50 ميليون دلار)، مايكل داگلاس(45 ميليون دلار)، ليونل ريچي(20 ميليون دلار) و ميك جاگر(15 ميليون دلار) در رده هاي سوم تا دهم طلاق هاي پرهزينه تاريخ جا گرفته اند.

[Rasputin]

A friend of mine is going through a divorce. Mature and brave as he sounds in the decision he and his partner have made, I cannot help but notice the agony he seems to be experiencing. This agony presents itself as an occasional short remark, or the way he appears nostalgic about the past these days, quite possibly of a time in his life when he was happier and more hopeful about the future; or the way he stumbles when he appears ambivalent and unpracticed in referring to her as his “wife,” correcting himself quickly to refer to her as his “ex-wife.”

Other than what he says, many of us can imagine and feel his agony quite well, because this is a path many of us have had to take during our lifetime. I have passed this painful road, and though I would rather forget about it, for his sake I would talk about it, hoping that it can be helpful.

I believe the worst thing about a divorce or a break-up is not leaving a familiar face, a familiar space, or losing things in the process. I believe it is losing the hope and optimism we had when we were first united with our lover. No feeling in the world compares with the wonderful sense of private and personal accomplishment we feel when after thinking, feeling, wondering, hoping, trying, failing, trying again, and winning the heart of someone we found special, we are united with that person.

That first knowing look, that first proclamation of feelings for each other, that first kiss and that first embrace are all moments completely unforgettable and incomparable to any other memory or accomplishment in life. Long after we break up, something inside our hearts longs for those feelings and memories, and something in our minds resists the long and painful journey of falling in love again and the fear of another potential failure. That battle rages continually inside people who have experienced the phenomenon of divorce.

I was once watching a nature documentary on television. It was about a particular species of monkeys which bear surprising similarity in their behavior to that of humans. A female monkey’s child had died. The mother monkey was holding her baby in her arms, going about, pretending as though nothing had happened, swinging from tree to tree, and engaging in her daily activities. She refused to give her baby up to a burial which was something this particular species of monkeys did when one of them died. All the other monkeys in the tribe, who knew the baby was dead were trying to grab the dead child from the mother monkey, and she was resisting it, jumping around, avoiding the painful realization of her child’s death; until one day in an instinctively collective effort, all the other monkeys in the tribe descended upon her, took the dead child and buried it. Now she sat and wailed and cried and mourned her child.

I think for many of us, a broken marriage or relationship is like that dead child monkey in our arms. We know it’s dead, and we know it must be buried, but the prospect of losing something so dear and familiar to us is so overpowering and saddening that for a long time we go around pretending like it isn’t dead and that we can manage our daily lives carrying it in our arms, giving a Herculean effort to carrying the dead weight of something which is very heavy by virtue of its significance.

As Iranians, we are raised to believe in the merits and value of family. We value marriages and commitments immensely. Some of us consider divorce as a taboo, one which we must avoid at all costs. Some of us do avoid it at all costs, including our sanity, our happiness, our peace of mind, and that of our children’s who have to be witnesses to the ugliness of the lives of two people who don’t love each other anymore but continue to go forward with the painful charade.

Well, whether we like it or not, sometimes divorces cannot be avoided. Just the same, a divorce or a breakup is a major disappointment, a project or venture that we somehow botched. But we shouldn’t go on for the rest of our lives beating ourselves over the head with it. I think it takes brevity and wisdom to know when we have a dead monkey on our hands, and we must put it to rest, mourn it, accept its death, and go on.

In the middle of the painful mayhem and dust and blood of a divorce, depending on the circumstances and the people involved, too much attention is given to the physical manifestations and possessions of the marriage, and how they should be divvied up -- you know, custody rights, the property, the savings, the retirement plan, the china -- and not enough to the less tangible, yet so important possessions of it, loss of which is in some cases more devastating than the tangible things.

My friend’s relationship did not have any children in it, thank God, so I won’t talk about that awful, prickly subject in this note. A whole other book must be devoted to the painful process of divorce when there are children in the marriage. For now I want to talk about some of the other lost “assets” of a relationship gone awry.

We live in a world that is getting increasingly used to divorces and breakups, even after long-standing relationships. Most of us have had friends who have divorced, and have had to quickly and painfully learn how to act vis a vis the decision that the couple, both of whom are our friends, have made. Taking sides and passing judgment is a bad idea, and learning how to dispense advice and support is a tricky business.

I suppose most friends can continue to be friends to both people, but there are some very dear friends, the ones who will be the confidants of each of the two, the ones who know the whole picture including some sordid details, the ones who tried to save the marriage by talking to both sides, who will know more about it than anybody else.

Those friends, unfortunately, the anointed ones (!) can only be friends to one of them in the end, and there is no way out of this, at least for a very long time. That is such a very painful process for all the people involved, where friends are divided between the couple. The feelings of loss in the case of a divorce, then, take new dimensions as the loss takes away more than just a partner.

Another is the couple’s mementoes, holding the memories of the years they spent together. Who gets the photographs and things they bought on trips? Is the woman entitled to a family heirloom of the man’s family, given to her by her soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law a few years back?

And the worst thing to have to split up is that dog-eared telephone book, the one that holds the names and phone numbers of your collective friends, family, and acquaintances. Who gets to have that? What should the other one do without it? Well, I photocopied it and gave the original to my ex in the end, but the process was not as pragmatic and easy as this might sound, trust me.

To my wise and well-poised friend, who is facing this dramatic change with dignity, courage, and generosity, I say hang in there. Divorce might change our identity from one of a couple to a single person over night, making us lose our footing for a while during which we scramble to come to grips with deeply emotional and stupidly practical questions.

But if we know this is the right thing to do and feel good about the time and attention we have given this really important decision, all we can do is to carry on as best as we can, learning and growing in the process; because as we grow older and more experienced in life, we realize that there are still lessons to learn and growth to be accomplished which will hopefully make us better, smoothing our rough edges, and making us more humble and less judgmental.

We must not, however, ever lose our faith in love, which was bold and exciting and as real as anything ever got in our lives. That is our memento, our medallion, our trophy even in the wake of a failed relationship. We must not punish our hearts for having been capable of love. That would be the true failure.

[donsaeid]

'رشد 12 درصدی' طلاق در ایران

مقامات اجتماعی ایران از افزایش آمار آسیب های اجتماعی از جمله طلاق ابراز نگرانی کردند.

حسن موسوی، مدیر کل آسیب دیدگان اجتماعی بهزیستی در این باره اعلام کرد، بر اساس آمار، طلاق 12 درصد رشد مثبت و ازدواج 22 درصد رشد منفی داشته است.

آقای موسوی در گفتگویی با خبرنگاران افزایش آمار آسیب های اجتماعی را همراه با آنچه رشد زیرزمینی این آسیب ها نامید همراه خواند.

به گفته این مقام مسئول بهزیستی، در حال حاضر اعتياد، طلاق، خشونت*های خانگی، فرار از منزل، اقدام به خودکشی، زنان خيابانی و افراد دارای اختلالات جنسی بيشترين آسيب*های اجتماعی ایران را تشکيل می *دهند.

در حالیکه اخیرا فرحناز قند فروش، مشاور استاندار تهران در امور بانوان، آمار طلاق را در پایتخت بسیار بالاتر از سایر استانهای ایران عنوان کرد، رییس سازمان ثبت احوال هم چندی پیش اعلام کرد که در سه ماهه اول سال جاری، حدود 25 هزار طلاق در ایران ثبت شده است.

کارشناسان امور اجتماعی می گویند، اختلاف فرهنگی، اعتیاد، بیکاری مرد، عدم تمکین زن، خشونت و دخالت دیگران از جمله عوامل موثر بر طلاق در ایران محسوب می شوند.

[Kabutar]

Divorce?

I just don't know what to do anymore as I married an Esfahani guy that I truely love and every time I call him on his mobile he gets mad at me and tells me to leave him alone. Man faghat khers mikhoram and every night I'm now crying and shouting all night. Khodaya man nemidoonam chikar konam, shohareh man hamash migeh dustareh man, man fek mikonam hamash dooroogh migeh...

[abadani69]

علت 50% طلاق

اختلالاتفعاليت زناشويي در همسران جوان - دکتر هومن خليقي

به روايت آمارهاي موجود، در ايران حدود 50درصد از طلاق**ها به علت عدم رضايت از فعاليت* زناشويي صورت مي*گيرد. اين امر اگرچهممكن است عجيب و باورنكردني به نظر برسد ولي از ديدگاه بسياري از صاحب*نظران،حقيقتي انكارناپذير است. نداشتن رضايت از فعاليت زناشويي در ايران و جهان از شيوعنسبتابالايي برخوردار است و اين مساله به*ويژه در زنان شايع*تراست...

اختلالفعاليت زناشويي نوعي مشکل پزشکي است و فردي که دچار چنين اختلالي باشد، به برقراريفعاليت زناشويي تمايل دارد اما مشکلاتي را در امر برقراري اين رابطه احساس مي*کند وگاهي در اثناي اين رابطه دچار مشکل مي*شود. اين اختلال در سال*هاي جواني (بين 20 تا 30سالگي) شيوع بيشتري دارد و به تدريج با افزيش سن از شيوع آن کاسته شده و مجدداًدر سنين بالا شايع مي*شود. به گفته کارشناسان، انزال زودرس در مردان و بي*ميلي جنسيدر زنان شايع*ترين اختلالات فعاليت زناشويي در ايران است و بسياري از خانواده*ها ازوجود اين مشکلات آگاهي ندارند و همين امر گاهي موجب برخي مشاجرات و اختلافاتخانوادگي و حتي طلاق مي*شود.

اوليه ياثانويه؟

اختلالفعاليت زناشويي را مي*توان به دو گروه اوليه و ثانويه طبقه بندي کرد. مرداني کهداراي اختلال نوع اوليه هستند، هيچ*گاه آن*قدر به نعوظ نمي*رسند که بتوانند فعاليتزناشويي برقرار کنند. اما در اختلال ثانويه، حالت نعوظ پس از يک دوره طبيعي ناگهاناز بين مي*رود و اين امر به طور مکرر اتفاقمي*افتد.

پيشگيرييا درمان؟

زوج*هاييکه ارتباط خوبي با هم دارند و در مورد مسايل مختلف به راحتي با هم گفتگو مي*کنند،شانس بيشتري براي غلبه بر اين بيماري دارند. پيش از بحث درمان، توصيه مي*شود بهکلينيک*هاي سلامت خانواده براي مشاوره*هاي خصوصي و تخصصي مراجعه کنيد. تحريک ذهني وساير شيوه*هاي تمرکز رواني مي*تواند اثر به سزايي در روند درمان اختلال فعاليتزناشويي داشته باشد. برخي زوجين نيز بايد با هم در کلاس*هاي مشاوره شرکت کنند تا بهمشکل اصلي خود پي ببرند. از ميان برداشتن اضطراب، ترس، استرس و تمايل به باردارينيز با جلسات مشاوره ممکن خواهد بود. درمان اين اختلال، بر حسب علت اختلال، متفاوتاست؛ مثلا در افرادي که صفات ثانويه جنسي در آنها رويت نمي*شود، درمان هورمونياولين قدم است و در ساير بيماران مي*توان از روش*هاي زير موجود استفادهکرد:

يک دارويرايج

قرصيوهمبين ممکن است باعث افزايش ميل به زناشويي در افراد سالم شود ولي لزوما بايدبراي مدتي طولاني استفاده شود وممکن است داراي عوارض جانبي متعددي باشد. اما قرصسيلدنافيل در 70 درصد موارد موثر است و البته مصرفش در افرادي که نارسايي قلبيدارند و از ترکيبات نيترات استفاده مي*کنند، ممنوع است. اين قرص نيز داراي عوارضجانبي بوده و حتي مواردي از مرگ ناگهاني به دنبال مصرفش گزارش شده است.؛ باعثافزايش خطر سکته قلبي در افراد بالاتر از 50 سال شده و استفاده از آن در افراد زيرخطرناک است: مبتلايان به نارسايي قلبي، گرفتگي عروق قلب، تست ورزش مثبت، فشار خونزير 50/90 ميلي*متر جيوه يا بالاي 110/170 ميلي*متر جيوه، آنژين* قلبي، آريتمي،سابقه سکته قلبي و مغزي و کور رنگي. سال گذشته مرگ 130 نفر در ايالات متحده بهدنبال مصرف اين دارو ثبت شده و اکنون استفاده از آن در بيماران قلبي به*عنوان يکروش درماني کاملا زير سوال رفته است.

نشانه*ها

اختلالفعاليت* زناشويي در زوج*هاي مختلف، به علت عوامل متفاوتي به*وجود مي*آيد اما برخياز آنها مشترک و برخي ديگر نيز مختص مردان يا زنان است.
عواملمشترک: کمبود علاقه بهبرقراري رابطه زناشويي، عدم توانايي در ايجاد حس برانگيختگي و احساس درد هنگامبرانگيختگي و فعاليت*(شايع*تر در خانم**ها(
عواملمختص مردان: عدمتوانايي در ايجاد يا حفظ نعوظ، تاخير در انزال، نبود انزال با وجود محرک*هاي کافي،عدم توانايي در کنترل و زمان*بندي انزال.
عواملمختص زنان: ناتواني درآزاد کردن عضلات واژينال براي برقراري رابطه زناشويي، کمبود ميزان ترشحات روانکننده قبل و حين برقراري فعاليت زناشويي، ناتواني در رسيدن به اوج لذتزناشويي.

[indian_blues]

I just don't know what to do anymore as I married an Esfahani guy that I truely love and every time I call him on his mobile he gets mad at me and tells me to leave him alone. Man faghat khers mikhoram and every night I'm now crying and shouting all night. Khodaya man nemidoonam chikar konam, shohareh man hamash migeh dustareh man, man fek mikonam hamash dooroogh migeh...

I suspect too much love.

[zubin]

I just don't know what to do anymore as I married an Esfahani guy that I truely love and every time I call him on his mobile he gets mad at me and tells me to leave him alone. Man faghat khers mikhoram and every night I'm now crying and shouting all night. Khodaya man nemidoonam chikar konam, shohareh man hamash migeh dustareh man, man fek mikonam hamash dooroogh migeh...

i think you guys are drifted apart a little and that you need to distance yourself from him so he appreciates you more.

when he starts being a good boy then its good again.

just my opinion.


in all honesty, when two people start to "eshkal" each other alot, which is somewhat natural, they lose a little love in the relationship and start to like other "hypothetical" people more.

so in my opinion they guy needs to see the "eshkal" in those people and realize his love for you, from a distance, and then it might be good.

[Rasputin]

Dirvorce Laws: Are they fair to men?

Dirvorce Laws: Are they fair to men?


1: Is equal division of assets fair?

2: Is alimony fair?

3: What do you suggest to men to protect themselves?